Husband on the loose

Can’t you go with him to bingo, or these walks? If he starts making excuses you will know he’s up to no good- hopefully all innocent 😇

It’s probably just a friendship, but I’d still like to meet her, why don’t you suggest he brings her round after bingo to meet you and have a cuppa?

I suppose being jealous shows how much he still interest you but jealously is a negative emotion that does you no good to hold on to. Could you go on one of the walks (not the bingo which is dire) and both be a friend of Heather's?

I would go with him to bingo and the walks . Hopefully it's innocent but I'd be worried too.
Hopefully everything will be fine. Good Luck.

Hmm... bingo 🤔

He surely wouldn’t be telling you if it was more than just friendship.
Is your name Heather?
This reminds me of a woman I met when my H had dementia.
Her H also was affected, he had a girl friend, imaginary, who had the same name as his wife and he used to say he was going to meet her and would regale his wife with their exploits.

If its a new friend , i would be suspicious. My first husband suddenly started talking about a woman we both knew from work. Giving her lifts and advice etc, before I knew it , they were off together

DH has a friend called Heather as well

Hope it's not the same Heather.

BigBertha1

I suppose being jealous shows how much he still interest you but jealously is a negative emotion that does you no good to hold on to. Could you go on one of the walks (not the bingo which is dire) and both be a friend of Heather's?

Good idea, I've made friends with Heather too.

I wouldn't like it, unless I was sure it was just friendship.

It may well be, but I'm naturally a cynical person (or a realist, depending on how your take on it is)

However, he will not stop going on about a new friend he had made who he seems to be VERY close with.

In my family we call this ‘mentionitis’ and your antennae should be twitching.

Get to know this Heather PDQ even if it means going to Bingo. You might find you get on well with her and if she becomes your friend your DH will probably back off.

Jealousy is a wasted emotion at our age. If you’re worried about his behaviour, nip it in the bud!

Just a friend , bingo and walks .....

hmm !

Oh they will tell you. Hiding in plain sight

We tease DH that he has a harem. Most of the other participants of his gym classes are women and he messages most of them.

I'm not concerned but then none of them are called Heather.

Just ask him when am I going to meet this Heather

I think I'd say I'd like to come along to bingo and see what his reaction was. If he tried to dissuade me, I'd be sniffing a rat. It would make me very suspicious if he preferred his trips out with 'Heather' and not me

Perhaps they met and just clickety clicked.

Mm I would be pleased for him get on and have some peace or find your own home outlet or go and join a club or something yourself

Does Heather have a husband/partner? I would certainly be a little suspicious if she is on her own. As others have suggested, either join them for a walk or invite her round for a cup of tea. As Petra says, just ask him ‘when am I going to meet Heather?’ I do hope there is no cause for you to worry.

merlotgran

^However, he will not stop going on about a new friend he had made who he seems to be VERY close with.^

In my family we call this ‘mentionitis’ and your antennae should be twitching.

Get to know this Heather PDQ even if it means going to Bingo. You might find you get on well with her and if she becomes your friend your DH will probably back off.

Jealousy is a wasted emotion at our age. If you’re worried about his behaviour, nip it in the bud!

I wouldn’t say that it’s a wasted emotion, my friends husband buggered off with his sil aged 74,it doesn’t matter if you are 24, or 84, it’s still hurtful if your partner finds someone else more attractive.
You might be at that stage where you aren’t bothered about your other half🙄

Were I you, I would invite her around for a meal or try to make an arrangement to otherwise meet her, if your husband seems to not want this, that would be a red flag. If he is happy to invite her but she is not happy to come, that would be a red flag too. If he begins to hide his devices from you or end calls when you appear, that would be a red flag. However, if he were happy to invite her, she were happy to come and happy to meet you, I would relax.

Good advice there, I think.

You might be at that stage where you aren’t bothered about your other half

Well if he hadn’t died three years ago I’d most certainly be bothered enough to deal with any circling Heathers.

The bingo is one thing, but going for walks afterwards??
I would certainly accompany my OH on one of his bingo nights in order to meet this Heather and make a point of asking her back for coffee. Just to get the lay of the land.