Wedding invite

I would go to the ceremony, wedding breakfast and leave probably around 8/8.30pm

Can you not leave before midnight? That’s what I’d do.

Why don’t you go to the wedding and the breakfast and then leave when you’ve run out of steam or don’t drink alcohol so you are then able to drive to the different venues.

I'd do (and have done) as GGravy says.
That way you go to the important bit, do all the socialising while the photos are happening and don't have to shout to make yourself heard above a disco!

I think you should go to the ceremony and breakfast as I'm sure the couple would want to have you in their photos.

Just leave early evening when it all starts to get too much

Of course not!

You can go ton the wedding and attend the ceremony, You can leave early.

Personally, I wouldn’t feel right, not going to the wedding ceremony. But ofcourse, it’s extremely tiring. I know - my son’s wedding!!! However, we took a room in the Hotel and went up to relax after the ceremony. And I was younger then.
So, I can understand how you feel. Difficult one …..

I would go to the wedding and the reception and leave early evening, we have done this twice in the last few years with no problems

Thank you. I quite like the disco bit, strange at my age I know. I don't really like like the idea of canapés and photos for two hours before the meal. But I may have to do that.

wonder why the meal is so late? won't you have to leave after the ceremony to find lunch?
go home after the food and toasts and speeches, who wants to be in a hellishly loud disco until midnight, only teenagers.
me and DP went to a similar wedding and the music was ear splitting and you couldn't talk or hear others either.

Yes, rude not to go to the ceremony and just turn up for the breakfast and evening do! I don't imagine they expect you to stay until midnight.

What happens after the 1pm ceremony and wedding breakfast at 4pm?

If it were me, I’d go for the wedding and leave after the ‘breakfast’. I can’t stand wedding discos - or at least all the ones I’ve experienced have been deafeningly loud, with nowhere to escape to.

Not long ago, 6 of us (all related late 60s/over 70s) attended the church bit and the afternoon tea (it was the wedding of a cousin’s son) but left before the late dinner and disco. We went off for a nice quiet dinner together, close to our hotel.

Of course we informed the couple in advance, so they wouldn’t be paying for wasted meals, and I’m quite sure they weren’t in the least put out by half a dozen oldies buggering off early - there were plenty of their young friends for the later revels.

Might add that we had a very nice and unusually prompt written thank-you for the cash I’d put in the card!

Ceremony is a must as is the “breakfast” but disco could easily be missed.

This reminds me of my neighbour, who doesn’t attend any funeral service, but goes to all the wakes, usually held in our local pub 😂

Unlike most of us, the OP sounds as though she would rather go to just the evening disco!

Each to her own, but not my idea of fun. To me, the ceremony plus the breakfast are the main event and what it’s all about.

Is it rude to go to the wedding breakfast and stay for the evening which ends at 12 midnight? Thereby missing the ceremony and the photos. Its rural and no accomodation nearby when we can have a rest without taxi there and back due to drinking and driving.

Not rude. If you prefer breakfast and disco, do those bits. Have fun!

I would also choose the marriage itself (ceremony) and then the breakfast where there will be the opportunity to chat to family and other guests in-between (and after if I still had energy).

The disco is an add-on (irrelevant really I think).

Doing it this way allows you to get away late afternoon/early evening.

Oh definitely don't miss the ceremony. That would be rude and rather
sad.
As someone else has suggested: Leave when you run out of steam.
Leave the young ones to their disco.

Mind you at DD's wedding my DSis who was nearly 70 was dancing until after midnight but it was at a hotel and we had rooms to go to.

Riverwalk

Yes, rude not to go to the ceremony and just turn up for the breakfast and evening do! I don't imagine they expect you to stay until midnight.

What happens after the 1pm ceremony and wedding breakfast at 4pm?

Most provide a drink and canapés. Usually whilst all the photos are being taken

As others have said, I would go to the ceremony & breakfast. Seeing them married and celebrating the marriage is the most important part. It may turn out that you are able to enjoy the whole day once you’re there.

What ‘most’ of the above have said. You have been invited to celebrate their marriage by witnessing it and then being fed, not to attend just the after party.

I think that the ceremony and photos afterwards is a great way to meet with relatives, so I would go to the ceremony then the Breakfast then wave goodbye before their friends arrive for the Disco.
You might want to tuck a biscuit or 3 into your bag to keep you going between the ceremony and the breakfast, that’s a long time to go without lunch.

I'm afraid I do think it would be rude and agree with all those who say go to the ceremony, the reception and skip the "evening do " having made your excuses. Unless of course you feel like partying into the wee small hours !
(I actually dislike the modern convention of separate invitations to the evening do - a bit like being in the Reserves.)

What is the important part after all?