Age going against me!

My husband and myself are quite aware that if we didn’t own the company we would be struggling to keep our current positions, our children would have sacked us, the IT side of the business proving very challenging for us.
But we bring a lot of experience, we’re flexible, there’s no question of being too good for anything, we’ve gracefully taken a step back.
We have just employed a 77 year old, who is excellent, and we haven’t the heart to get rid of a man well into his eighties, who does odd jobs.
I think in our sixties/seventies we still have a great deal to offer, but probably need to accept other younger employees are more up to date with things, times change.

I think my card was marked before I even was able to give an opinion on anything, as they were fully aware of my background. The Managers were very good at giving me the most menial jobs which I did with grace. Being the one to be left behind to clean the homes whilst the others did activities. I did not complain and got on with what needed to be done. When I challenged it was in an open forum with others around team meeting where it was encouraged to voice concerns. The fact I did not receive acknowledgement of my resignation proves to me they wanted me out!

I was very lucky working as a registered children’s nurse on a small unit . There were only about 10 registered nurses and two of in charge . I was at least twice their ages and same age as most of their mums and even one gran . I was always included in nights out including clubs and still in contact . One going to come to our holiday home with her husband to stay even . So lucky but I did seem to amuse them and new staff have heard of me apparently .

*chooses...spellcheck! 😡

If I've understood correctly, you have taken a much lesser role in an organisation where you were once manager. Having done so, do you not accept that you will now be under and take instruction from the current manager?
Having said that, I've found that my opinion is very much less valued by those much younger than me- I'm 72. My DD, aged 34, asks me for advice, ignores it and then choices to be guided by a friend (her age) who has said exactly what I said! The way if the world I'm afraid.

Littletoothill Your friend at 71 is in unpaid rolls, these are usually offered to those willing as others won't do them unless paid. No disrespect to your friend intended, its the way of the world and has been for some time.

I for personal reasons moved from a management role to a junior team member role. I didn’t tell the team that I still had all my management perks. Quite a few of the team picked on me and gave me the most trivial jobs. I just kept my head down and got on with the job. Gave my opinion when asked. I gradually got accepted for my strengths. It was 2 years before the team even knew that I still contractually had a car parking space, since I never used it and walked the same distance to the office as everyone else. It takes time to get accepted but it can be done.

David49

Unless you are the “boss” of a company you can expect to be sidelined as you get older, younger employees get promoted above you. Many companies do it deliberately, younger workers are much easier to convince to change working practices.
It happens to men just as much, many of my friends retired early or took voluntary redundancy, they then started a second career, some as a consultant, others at technical level rather than management. One in particular was a Bank Manager, retired early and worked as an accounts associate for 10 yrs afterwards.

Not only that, it is often Financial…Younger staff cost less generally!

I am happily retired now, but in the last ten or fifteen years of my working life I realised that:

no manger, headmistress etc. enjoys having staff that are twenty years older than she is, however competent and pleasant they may be.

since the 1970s no-one has looked up to "the older generation" and we who were young in the seventies reaped what we had sown, as far as that goes.

You have three options, here, grin and bear it, apply for a managerial position where you knowledge may be appreciated again, or take early retirement.

Whatever you do, do not leave, unless you have something definite to go to. No-one wants to employ anyone in the 60+ age group, never mind how much they talk about diversity, the need for us all to work until we are seventy, etc. etc.

If you really want to, and have always wanted to start your own business, do so, but be clear before you do, that it is hard graft, ruins your chances of retirement any time soon, and perhaps for ever if your venture fails.

Leave on your terms. At your time you want to leave.
Q. Do you have an Company Pension arrangements with them ? Find out what you might expect to receive.

You decided you didn’t want a managerial role, so you do have to accept the direction that the managers take, even if you think you know better. Perhaps decide not to give advice unless it’s asked for , maybe bring up your suggestions at a collaborative meeting where everyone’s ideas can be discussed rather than being directly confrontational .

Whilst I suspect you have a valid point about agism, I think you might have ruffled a few feathers too. If you've come down to the shop floor after being a manager and the younger staff know it especially the ones who are in charge, you might have unnerved them a bit. By challenging decisions so early on, you might well have cooked your own goose without intending to.

I don’t miss being a manager. I love to see disadvantaged children thrive and feel they matter.

Hearing staff say why would they put me on shift with someone over 40 what would I have in common with them!

And this golden oldie

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks!

I have seen a negative attitude towards the older generation in the workplace, well me anyway. I know it’s not everyone and everywhere but it does exist!

I think we have to learn to let go a bit as we age.
You aren't very old and were insulted by the remark about energy levels.

Younger people can't always guess our age. I get told frequently how I remind someone of their gran.
I am definitely not old enough to be their gran!

Be grateful that you don't have to make management decisions. Unless ofcourse you wish you could, in which case find another manager job pronto.

Thank you Oreo.

I’m very sorry you have been made to feel this way. We all want to feel valued in our jobs, hobbies or voluntary work.

I left a dramatic society after it was taken over by an arrogant chap who was not as capable as he thought he was. I couldn’t help being a pain as I could see what a mess he was making and he’d started off as my pageboy😆
It couldn’t go on and I do so miss my old friends.
I know it’s not the same situation but posters could be more sympathetic…

Many nurseries will ot employ staff who do not have qualifications these days. I'm afraid you will
have to suck it up.

It’s def ageism at work Rainbow24 and it’s such a waste of experience as well as being horrible for the worker.
It’s their loss, but as you say it’s the children that matter.☹️
You’ll feel better not working there so a good move to leave a stress filled job.Good luck in finding something better.

Thank you Ziggy62.

It’s the children I feel sorry for! For a lot of private companies it’s about money and getting bodies into the jobs!

From what you're saying I really think you will be better off leaving. As I said earlier, it's the best move I ever made, after a life time in care I never imagined I would leave
Think of your own mental health
Sad to see the rather unsympathetic posts on this thread

That will be a relief.
I do wonder about the ageism you identified. Younger staff also asked me about energy levels, especially about managing to keep up a level of intensity through the day, as I could and they were finding it difficult to work efficiently through the post— lunch sleepy time. I didn’t feel that was derogatory.

I’ve heard similar stories before in the social care system, it seems you either bite your tongue or be assertive where it’s needed, if I were you I’d do the latter.You have years of experience which they don’t so why accept talking down to.

Thank you for your insight, you actually get what I have been trying to say.

I could care less for labels in relation to roles. My priority has always been the children. I know like a lot of people that work in the system you could easily earn more money with less stress elsewhere.

Being older which was my original post seems to have a detrimental impact on how I am personally perceived. The kids love the fact I am seen as the elder of the team but I have found that I am being dismissed as relevant, even though I have witnessed many a scenario played and could almost write the script of what outcomes are going to be. When I witness a senior member of staff making recommendations that will impact negatively on the home, I have put my concerns in and they ignored.

To add more context and there is a long list, no notice of shift changes, favouring other staff members, receiving rude text messages on my personal phone wrapped up in a “gas lighting way” . Talking down to me when we are on our own yet making herself out to be the injured party. Yes I am a strong person and yet I know how to be professional. I am not apologetic for knowing my own worth and mind.

In fact today I put my notice in via email and I did not even receive a response, the only acknowledgment I had was that all my shifts were cancelled going forward. If that’s not a sign that I am irrelevant what is!

I’ve heard similar stories before in the social care system, it seems you either bite your tongue or be assertive where it’s needed, if I were you I’d do the latter.You have years of experience which they don’t so why accept talking down to.

“I think you have fixed ideas how things need to be done and it may have been the way you spoke to people that caused concern”

Thank you for your observations duly noted. This is where I have been going wrong…. 🤔

Can you not just keep your head down and focus in the children for a while. Leave the whole management side to get on with it. It must be nice not to have the responsibility you once had and enjoy the more direct working.