Christmas work ‘do’

I agree just say you won’t be going. No one else’s business why .
These days I am not antisocial just selectively social.

I didn’t go to a few of the Christmas do’s when I was teaching. A lot of them drank quite a bit and I didn’t, and they chose places where a big price bought the food and all you could drink. So I stopped going. I used to go before when we just went to a nice restaurant. I didn’t miss going, just glad I didn’t pay out a lot of money for others to drink excessively.

After several times saying that I am not a sociable person I rarely get invited now.

Years ago I would have made an excuse, no transport or wrong date but people would often come up with a solution so found it easier to be honest.

My Zumba group are all very nice, but most of them are very loud and they drink a lot. I have been invited the Christmas party that I know wont me my type of fun. I just said thank you, I will not be attending, but have fun. One other girl just said not my thing. I think people feel more comfortable if you say cannot go, if then sit there on the evening looking unhappy. Never say you are not free, as I did that once and they kept moving the date so I would be free and could go .

You could always use Peter Cook's immortal line, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I'm watching television that night" 😄

There are some wonderful generic phrases (widely used on mumsnet) for politely declining unwanted invitations, favours and so on. Usually prefaced by "Thank you for asking me but ..."

That doesnt work for me
Sorry Im not free
Busy with family stuff
Not really my thing
Not hosting at this time

Followed by another good generic phrase to close the conversation "So Ill leave it with you then, bye"

“ One of the delights known to age, and beyond the grasp of youth, is that of Not Going”
JB Priestly.

This is so true!

I always hated work Christmas parties. I no longer work but wish I'd been upfront and said no thank you, I'm not going to be there.

If I didn’t want to go I just wouldn’t. Life is far too short to endure something you have no interest in.

As with others above, Ailidh's phrase deals with it beautifully. If there's a follow up why? I just smile and shrug and say 'One of those things, sorry'
No guilt at all about not going to something I'd rather not as far as work/volunteering is concerned.

I never attended the Christmas Parties nor offered a excuse why I did not want to go. I went to the Christmas lunch as it was arranged during the working day and not the evening.

I’m so relieved I no longer have to attend work Christmas parties.

No I can’t see the point either. I’ve told them I’m not free then and left it at that.

I used to dread them! I was always worried that nobody would want to sit next to me and, if I did sit next to someone they’d be thinking ‘ oh no, not her’. At least our bosses used to pay for us. If you don’t want to go don’t go!

Yes, be up front, Ailidh’s phrased it beautifully, ‘thank you I’m not able to go’….perfect! I no longer attend events I’d otherwise dread, life’s too short!

Nowadays I never go anywhere that I am not keen on and cannot see the point of spending time with people who I only tolerate and probably only tolerate me at the best of times.

*acquired

My fairly recently required technique is to say, "Thank you but I'm not able to go".

There are no stories to remember about why I'm not going, and no one has ever been rude enough to ask why.