Sidelined and forgotten

Sheer tactlessness. At a real meeting once, someone (who u also don't like) said to me in front of everyone, "I didn't expect you to be here". This was noted by several people later and just made the offender look bad.

Rude - be the better person and ignore it.

Similar to that......Our singing group has zoom meetings now we can't meet as usual. At the join up time as all the faces popped up and said hallo to each other, I said hallo to the young leader and she muttered to her colleague 'strong personality'. It hurt, yes it did. I haven't taken part in any more and when we meet up again (hopefully) I will let her know she wasn't muted. In the nicest way with a chuckle. of course.
zoom bloopers on you tube lots of very funny ones.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SYEfjcCyyI

Office politics. Got fed up of it when working in the City of London. I started to think about being my own boss.

Forget about it. In the bigger scheme of living consider this an error. Move on.

Have done hundreds of zoom calls since last year and there’s always that awkward 10-15 seconds until people realise you’re there.
You can counteract this by joining 1st... don’t be shy get in there !

I taught part time in a large school for 19 years. At the assembly on my last day the Head mentioned all those who were leaving except me! I had worked very hard there but couldn’t get very involved in after school social activities because of my children and my DH’s poor health. The Deputy noticed my face and prompted her. There was no apology and it was hard to forgive.

I think the most pertinent bit is that you're 'not a fan' of hers in the first place. Zoom can be awkward and difficult to adapt to, and you may have been more forgiving of someone you get on with.
Sometimes I think 'being taken for granted' can be quite a compliment, but that doesn't seem the case here.
I agree that you need to let it go for now, and have some of these clever ripostes ready for another time - though I suspect she will be very careful not to forget you in future!

Not as important as work - but I almost gave up on Zoom during lockdown. I hadn't realised, but I have a verbal habit of saying 'mmm / yes / oh / really' that (I think) doesn't get noticed in everyday conversation, but it kept 'lighting me up' during Zoom calls. DH found this very difficult to cope with, and that made me very flustered. I found it difficult to keep track and almost gave up. We are both doing better at it now - but it makes me sympathetic to people who fumble Zoom calls!

It sounds like you think she said this deliberately. Could she have sincerely forgotten you and just spoke her thoughts out loud.
If you do think it was said deliberately then I would tell her that you heard what she said and how you felt about it

I'd have thought it showed her up really, not you, so I wouldn't pursue it. And it's also very easy to speak before the brain engages (I've made a real howler this week) so maybe cut her a bit of slack too this time.

Unless your responsibilities at work are changing, I would say it is an unfortunate oversight.

Hosting online meetings is very hard.
Attendees may join or not, may join late, only using audio, etc

Once the host starts facilitating the meeting, it is way harder to track who is in and out, creating uncomfortable silences when host is checking the attendee list

In my meetings, I learned to ask: " did everybody have the chance to participate?" as it happened to me several times - my meetings have 20+ people in them.

Why didn't you say something at the time? She could see you on the screen. If people are allowed to behave badly, they will. they have to be stopped. However, as above, it could have been a genuine mistake but don't let her get away with it again because then it won't be.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

You're not overly keen on this person so of course you will pick up on anything she does or doesn't say in relation to you. Next time just announce yourself before she has a chance to say anything telling her you are there in case she's forgotten, or forget about it this time, it could gave been a genuine mistake.

Next time you have a Zoom meeting, hold up a big card saying something along the lines of "the invisible one" or "the forgotten one"!
If you felt embarrassed because she said it in front of a new member of staff. It should be your manager that is, not you!
Next bitchy comment she makes, you can either choose to say nothing, and by your silence draw attention to her comment or have a comment ready such as " I can go if you want!"
Whatever, please don't try and give this incident any more importance than it was.

With limited experience, I would say that Zoom meetings are awkward. The more people attending, the more difficult it is for the host to keep track. Also more difficult to remember who's been introduced. DH spent a meeting unable to get a word in edgeways.

I agree with others - leave it this time, but if it happens again speak up one way or another.

I too would hold my tongue this once.

However, if she does something similar another time, either say, cheerfully, "Well I am here," or send her an e-mail afterwards pointing out that her comment was hurtful.

I would feel awkward critcising her behaviour in an open forum and thus laying myself open to being told I was being as rude, which could easily happen.

Let it go this time - if you say anything now, you risk appearing vulnerable & needy.

But keep an eye on her & be ready with a suitable rejoinder if it happens again.

My advice is not to fret about this nor to read into a silly comment a meaning or motive which may not exist. Even the most thoughtful team members sometimes make off the cuff comments intended to be lighthearted but which the recipient finds hurtful or worrying but there is no underlying agenda.
I would just let it go and don't allow it to become bigger than it is.

A hurtful comment but we’ve all said things we regret afterwards. I’m sure she’s mortified now. Try not to dwell on it ?

Zoom, and e-mails, are so instant. I’m sure we have all pressed ‘send’ without re-Reading the content, and most of us have muttered something (on Zoom, or some other platform) that we didn’t mean.
I think you should just put it down to an unfortunate mistake - and make sure you are ‘muted’ during Zoom meetings!

I think the time to say was when she said it. Easy for me to say now, but you could have made a rather pointed 'joke' along the lines of, 'How could you forget me?!'

They are ignorant you are not. Let it go and laugh at their stupidity x

It shows when you join the meeting. She made a little laugh and my colleague whom I’ve worked with for the last eight years also gave a little laugh.
Neither of us particularly like her but I felt sad that she’d do that to me also.
Hope this makes sense to someone reading.

Zoom can be awkward, as people can see and hear things that they may not notice in a face to face setting. Also, depending on how the manager had her screen set up, she may not have been able to see you.

How did she sound when she said it? Embarrassed? Laughing? or do you think it was a slight?

I think I might say something if I thought it would prey on my mind, but generally speaking it sounds like something I would put down to an accident and forget about, to be honest.