SEX

I'm fine with premarital sex but it should be compulsory for both partners to commit financially to the costs of bringing up any child produced and not expect other taxpayers to fund it via the benefit system.

My mum quoted my grandma when as a teenager, boys started to appear on the horizon back in the 70’s. ‘Don’t let 2 minutes pleasure ruin the rest of your life’ was a favourite warning passed down! 2 minutes eh???
I also remember being told by one or the other that there were two types of women- ones with whom men ‘sowed their wild oats’ and ones they married! The two were very different types...never could one woman be both!
Another well quoted phrase came from a Great Aunt. She said ‘there’d be no bad men if there were no bad women’ and referred to Wallis Simpson as the latter and stated ‘that woman led the King astray’- all WS’s fault then!

Re premarital sex, there’s an apt quote in a Shakespeare play, IIRC one of the Henry IVs.

I’m probably not 100% correct, but,
“Would that there were no age between fifteen and thirty, for in between there is nothing but stealing, fighting, wronging the ancientry and getting wenches with child.’

Being "of mature years"; when we were young, the only folk who mentioned sex, or anything approaching it were our peers.
One friend did show us the booklet that his mother gave to him, (She had been given it when she was growing up)
One friend, whose parents were both pathologists was very knowledgeable, I am glad to say.
It helped when we married, and since.
Although the younger generation are probably more willing to talk about it, they lack the experience that their parents and grandparents have.
"Nice people don't talk about sex. They suffer in silence".
After the menopause, we had a problem, which was killing our love life. Very tentatively, when alone together, I asked S i L a question. If she had been shy, she would not have told me the solution! "I don't mind, you're family"

It is a pity that so many of "us oldies" and the young still feel embarrassed, when questions could be answered to help solve problems, and enhance everyone's experience.
A widow in her 80s said "If the sex is good, the marriage is good"
So, perhaps we should be less shy with our children.

I’m so glad this subject has arisen, thank you OP as I’ve been curious for years. Did anyone talk openly about sex with their mum? I don’t think I would have been able to but she gave me books like Peyton Place and Lady Chatterley’s Lover to read when I was in my teens, she liked a bit of titillation in the fiction department. But I think I gathered she’d “rather have a cup of tea”.

I obviously don’t dare actually ask my daughter outright either but I’m curious if she’s fared better than me. She’s been divorced so I know that relationship wasn’t good but I’m assuming she’s been fine since. Our son has been much more outgoing and confiding to his dad in the past.

I think it must be so hard being young nowadays, for both boys and girls.
When I was courting, (what a lovely, old fashioned word, does anyone ‘court’ now?), I’m talking about the early 70’s, you met someone, went ‘steady’, got engaged, got married, had a baby, hopefully in that order.
My boyfriend, now my DH, and I had sex before we were married.

I always knew I could rely on him, not only if the worst happened and I became pregnant, although we took precautions, but also I just knew that even though we were only 18 and 20, he loved and respected me, and wouldn’t be bragging and gossiping about our sex life to his mates.

Probably one reason we are still together after 48 years.

Young girls nowadays, feeling they have to share intimate photos and worse online to ‘keep’ their boyfriends, I sometimes fear for my two GD’s, 12 and 13.

The pressure of the unrealistic expectations of boys who have online access to unlimited porn must be hard for girls nowadays. Years ago boys couldn't easily access such hard porn.

Luckylegs

I’m so glad this subject has arisen, thank you OP as I’ve been curious for years. Did anyone talk openly about sex with their mum? I don’t think I would have been able to but she gave me books like Peyton Place and Lady Chatterley’s Lover to read when I was in my teens, she liked a bit of titillation in the fiction department. But I think I gathered she’d “rather have a cup of tea”.

I obviously don’t dare actually ask my daughter outright either but I’m curious if she’s fared better than me. She’s been divorced so I know that relationship wasn’t good but I’m assuming she’s been fine since. Our son has been much more outgoing and confiding to his dad in the past.

No, Mum and I never discussed sex, just knew you had to ‘behave’! If you read my previous post, she never knew I had sex with my boyfriend, but as long as you didn’t come home pregnant........

My DD and I also never discussed sex either, at least, we could talk about contraception and stuff, but not actually the ins and outs of sexual pleasure.

She has been married nearly 20 years, and has 3 children, I hope she’s happy in that department, but with teenagers, work, running the house, mid 40’s, I suspect by the time she falls into bed, she just wants to sleep!

"The ins and outs of sexual pleasure " Sorry made me chuckle *Calendargirl

My mother said " don't bring trouble to this house" I was not clear as to what that meant until it was too late.

mamaa

My mum quoted my grandma when as a teenager, boys started to appear on the horizon back in the 70’s. ‘Don’t let 2 minutes pleasure ruin the rest of your life’ was a favourite warning passed down! 2 minutes eh???
I also remember being told by one or the other that there were two types of women- ones with whom men ‘sowed their wild oats’ and ones they married! The two were very different types...never could one woman be both!
Another well quoted phrase came from a Great Aunt. She said ‘there’d be no bad men if there were no bad women’ and referred to Wallis Simpson as the latter and stated ‘that woman led the King astray’- all WS’s fault then!

No change there eh

I'm glad I'm not young now for there seem to be all these sex acts I never knew about when young. Girls are expected to do oral and anal sex and post naked pics. They go round dressed in a way that exposes everything and cheapens them.

sodapop

"The ins and outs of sexual pleasure " Sorry made me chuckle *Calendargirl

My mother said " don't bring trouble to this house" I was not clear as to what that meant until it was too late.

Hmm, I see what you mean Sodapop!

Was not being facetious!

Also on this subject, for some reason men are inclined to confide in me often about very personal things. One man at the gym told me they had separate rooms by his choice. Several others said their wives wouldnt have sex .I asked one man why it mattered at our age as surely other things were more important but he said that sex was the most important thing in a marriage and he would leave if she didn't want it again. I was surprised as I had never thought it important. Another told me about his wife's menopause problems, I'm sure she would have been annoyed to hear him confiding in a stranger in the gym!
I should have been an agony aunt , my female pals often tell me things too.

When my sister trained as a nurse in the early ‘60s before the abortion act, the hospital used to clear the gynae ward on a Friday night in readiness for the botched and septic abortions. So that inevitably went on too...

Some dreadful injuries caused by botched abortions grandMattie a lot of women in desperate straits, went on right through the 60s. Seems unbelievable now.

sodapop

Some dreadful injuries caused by botched abortions grandMattie a lot of women in desperate straits, went on right through the 60s. Seems unbelievable now.

They were, and the poor girls were interrogated by the police too, if I remember rightly. Was very sad.

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kircubbin2000

Also on this subject, for some reason men are inclined to confide in me often about very personal things. One man at the gym told me they had separate rooms by his choice. Several others said their wives wouldnt have sex .I asked one man why it mattered at our age as surely other things were more important but he said that sex was the most important thing in a marriage and he would leave if she didn't want it again. I was surprised as I had never thought it important. Another told me about his wife's menopause problems, I'm sure she would have been annoyed to hear him confiding in a stranger in the gym!
I should have been an agony aunt , my female pals often tell me things too.

This happens the others way as well women confiding even chatting to men I’ve had it at 3 levels. If hubby is closeby you get no more than brief chat, if you know him but he away women are much more open and chatty. If you are strangers you get all sorts of revelations

In general men don’t confide in friends the way women seem to do, I never have, nor have any friends confided in me.

Love the opening replies .....made me laugh which is much better than Sex

You can have both Glow - laughter and sex

Of course you can Lisagran ....and at the same time

My granddaughter announced when she was in year 11 - aged 16, that everyone in her year had ‘done it’ I wondered if this was true, who knows ? She certainly had, she had her son at 17, went back to school and University. She is now engaged to the same young man and working as a nurse. He is a builder and the baby is now 9 years old. They have just bought their first house which is huge and much better than anything we could afford at their age.

I think a distinct lack of sex education was the problem in the seventies, precious little at school, and certainly none at home.
I wish I had sown a few more wild oats to be honest, I feel by becoming pregnant at eighteen, I missed out on a lot.