do we believe her?

I so agree with you nigglynellie I dId exactly the same thing and as an only child it was hard.
I couldn't have done it without my H's total support.
He knew just how I would feel if I didn't act in that way.

My DH had a very difficult relationship with his mother, boarding school at the early age of 7, divorced, then absent father, (abroad with new lady), neurotic mother, necessitating school holidays with grandmother, etc! Horrible to me over many years, making contact with her very difficult, but even so for all this, as she got older and eventually frail we,and DH's two siblings did make sure that she was looked after appropriately and visited, not that often I'll admit, but enough; Carers, and latterly the Home contacted on a regular basis and her well being kept an eye on. She was his mother and to leave your own mother to fend for herself in old age, however awful she's been, imo says more about you than her.

Lord L was an abusive bully. Lady L's vulnerabilities along with her husband's behaviour either led to, or exacerbated her mental health problems. It's unlikely their children had safe and loving care in their early years. It's always tragic when families are estranged but I don't see how her adult children have a duty of care. I realise that sounds harsh but the extent of distress and estrangement doesn't suggest reconciliation of any kind is likely to be successful. More pain all round seems more likely.

Niggly, I agree with you, the children should feel some duty of care. It's puzzling that they seem not to. Maybe they have inherited emotional detachment from both their parents. How very sad for everyone concerned.

I felt that at first marrying someone clearly out of her social league overawed Lady Lucan and in the end destroyed her. She cut a very sad lonely figure particularly recently and it seems inexplicable that whatever the circumstances, her children have, it would seem, completely abandoned her. She's now an old lady and when all said and done, she is their mother, and if nothing else they would, I would think, have a duty towards her.

Hemsley a cursory internet search on Lady Lucan shows that she suffered post-natal depression and it was a condition set by the divorce judge that a nanny be in residence at all times.

Very harsh to call her a cold bitch when she narrowly-escaped being murdered. And why shouldn't she have fought for custody of her children?

I watched with interest, Lucan was controlling, a gambler, I don't think she had much say in what happened within the marriage or probably about the employment of nannies or the children. She had Mental problems, I think if I had been in her position I too would have crumbled.

I do think she fled for her life that night, if you've never been in that situation you don't know what it feels like. I believe she was an an abused wife all through her marriage, that saps your self-esteem

Shd av previewed sorry

I think lady lucan was a cold bitch right b4 she met another cold caiculating bastard.The nanny b4 sandra had one day off per week and instead of looking after her iwn children on that day she hired another nanny .But all wonen of ger rank are brought uo to fob there kids off since birth.Also she kept fightibg for custody only to stop hin from getting the kif u ask me they were two cold selfishbastards who should never had any kids ans those kids and poor sandra are the reak victims here.

A very sad woman with a very sad story. You feel for Sandra Rivett and for the children. It seems to me that Lucan damaged everything he touched.

Whoops, posted too early.

I was very conscious of how two women of similar age and background in the same part of the same city could live such utterly different lives. One so full of hope, the other so empty.

I saw this programme by chance. I felt desperately sorry for Lady Lucan. She was so obviously holding herself together with immense effort. Everything she said was so factual, she did not try and milk the story for sympathy for herself or to blacken her husband - and the temptation to do that must have been strong.

It was obvious that she was an emotional vulnerable young woman and controlling men like Lucan have an instinct for such women. She was also unprotected. She had married well above her social group and her sister was clearly, through her husband on Lucan's side from day 1.

I am six years her junior, but like her the daughter of an army major and as I watched the programme and she talked about the time she met and married Lord Lucan. How at 26 she was close to being on the shelf, In effect saying what Jane Austen's wrote 150 years earlier, marriage had always been her object; it was the only honourable provision for well-educated young women of small fortune, and however uncertain of giving happiness, must be their pleasantest preservative from want.

I remembered that the very same time, I was living and working in much the same part of London as her, but I had a good education, a university degree, a good job and hopes of a successful career. For me marriage was not an essential in my life.

The Lucan children could well have been damaged by their childhood as another nanny, Christabel Martin, was also murdered

I didn't watch the programme.

I wasn't convinced, especially when the attack took place and she ran away. She said she could barely move, but then managed to run out of the house and down he road.

Convinced of what?

I worked for many years in the street where the murder took place - long after the event. The distance from the house to the pub is very short particularly as Lady Lucan would have been running for her life and high on adrenaline.

I used to see her out and about, looking a troubled soul, so assume that she still lived in the area in the 80/90s.

But let's not forget the real victim here, Sandra Rivett, who was a young woman in her 20s.

I wasn't convinced, especially when the attack took place and she ran away. She said she could barely move, but then managed to run out of the house and down he road.

I wondered if she was rewriting history.

No doubt he was a bully though.

Sandra Rivets had a son who was placed for adoption, as was the case with many babies born out of marriage. I read he only discovered the truth about his mother when he began to seek out the files relating to his adoption. The adoption was a happy one he said but of course, he is saddened about what happened so he can never meet his birth mother.

Lady Lucan was not aristocracy, she was the daughter of an army major

Didn't Sandra Rivett's child (a son, I think) surface in the news not so long ago? I can't remember why - was it when Lord Lucan was finally declared dead and his son inherited?

I was surprised Lady L did not seem such a victim as she has been portrayed. I thought she came over as a fairly tough old lady typical of her class and upbringing. I wonder if she ever made attempts to see her children over the years. I bet that programme won't have helped to breach the gap, unfortunately.

I meant to watch it but I forgot but read an interview. It must be awful to be married to a gambler as they put all their energies onto the next bet.
What a horrible man to act as he did. What a sad life for her.

Yes rocketstop I think she was a victim from the beginning of their relationship.

We must never forget that Sandra Rivett had a child too who was adopted before all this happened.

I believed her, and do you know what ? I think she still bloody loves him.Her life revolved around him and his shady antics, in a way it seemed she had already given up her children to do his bidding abroad and at parties etc whilst they stayed with their Nanny.

It made for uncomfortable viewing as we heard what a perverse man he really was, and how she as a victim had become so accustomed to it.

It was good to hear another account of it though.

She faced the wrath of the aristocracy and her own children because she told the truth about the murder and attempted murder,

I do believe her.

At one time I thought her lip was visibly trembling and she was trying to keep control of her emotions. We don't know what kind of upbringing she had, perhaps very detached from her own parents which is how many children of wealthy families were raised in those times.
She did say that 'all my relationships are cold' which I found very sad.
She still seemed to be defending him when she said she thought he must have jumped off a cross-channel ferry and I think she was trying to convince herself that he had not meant any of what happened and did the 'heroic thing' by committing suicide.

However, personally I think he was a nasty, controlling bully and did manage to escape with the help of his equally despicable friends.

The woman has a history of mental health illness, marrying a bastard made things worse.

I didn't see the programme but read an article about it. Even in her wedding photo and the other photos there was no smile or even expression which seemed strange.