I enjoyed the programme about the 4 year olds. I also thought the boy who took a piece of the chocolate cake wasn't exactly "naughty" because no-one had told the children not to take it and it was all cut up ready to eat. I thought what it did show was how the other children were much more nervous of authority. I suppose it was manipulative in a way, but I wouldn't have thought it would damage the children, and it was very interesting.
As for The Gift, it rather made me cringe - particularly the stilted exchange between the erstwhile "lovers". It is using almost exactly the same format as "Long Lost Families" but not as well in my opinion - and I think Nicky Campbell and Davina McCall are much more effective interviewers.