Mollie, I am with you. I LOATHE going to the hairdresser. It has never been a treat! (I don't understand people who enjoy manicures or pedicures either. I accept I am strange in not liking being pampered.)
Even when I stuck with one hairdresser it was always a gamble as to whether I'd like what she'd done with my hair even though I'd show her photographs from mags.
I hate the small talk, I hate being stuck in a chair pretending I am ok with it, I hate the waste of time, I hate the expense, and I hate the set look of a new (disappointing) hairstyle. I too go home and ruffle my hair up.
I tend to cut my own hair now. I like it slightly messy and choppy. The last two home haircuts have been complimented, (before people know I have done it myself) which is nice. There are so many You Tube tutorials out there that I have become reasonably confident about taking the scissors to my hair, and it saves me from the ordeal of going to the hairdresser.