Why can't I be smart

For a long time now (past 10 1/2 years as I took Early Retirement at 50) I live in Jeans/Jeggings or Shorts in Summer. If I'm going out teamed with a nice Blouse/Shirt or Jumper. Live in Trainers or slip on shoes.

I can dress up & do own smart black Trousers/ black Skirt or even (heaven forbid) a Dress, several smart Jackets plus scarves.

I go for comfort but have to have nicely polished nails & wear mascara & lipstick, nice jewellery plus nice watch

Perhaps you stand out because of what you do wear? I don't wear dresses either - or skirts at all - but I still think I can look "smart casual" even in jeans.

By going into social situations looking scruffy you give one of two messages
1) you can't be bothered to dress up for these people, THEY'RE not worth the effort or
2) you don't think YOU are worth the effort.
Either way you are going to draw attention to yourself.

I'm a bit of a hippy myself but I do clean my boots. I have jeans that are patched where the left bum cheek wore through (I'm a size 8!! ) why only one side I don't know. As long as my clothes are clean I don't mind. I can dress up for occasions but the style is still hippyish.

My nickname at college was "Ragbag" and it fitted very well, unlike my clothes. I do dress up and do make up for special occasions but the rest of the year round I'm a bit of a slob clothes wise. I prefer to be comfortable in my leggings and baggy tops with boots rather than hurting in heels and all the stuff you need to rein in all the spare flesh which has accrued over the years.

Just wear things you feel comfortable in. That's the joy of getting older. There is no dress code or have I missed it?

I like to make some effort with my clothes, hair and makeup. It makes me feel better, gives me a lift. What I do realise is that with age smart is about as good as it gets. I very rarely feel glamorous. My weight is my biggest concern as I do like my food and a glass or two of wine.

I think you show quite a lot of confidence by not wanting to follow the majority.

Have always longed to be elegant, sadly never even managed 'smart'!!

Two questions, if I may etheltbags
1What do you mean by "smart"
2 Do you want to look like that?

Princess Eugenie fascinators aside, most "slebs "look pretty silly especially if you realise how much they have to spend and the people they have to "advise" them.
On the other hand, it would not be hard to adapt your own style as you describe it.
Ditch the holey leggings, treat yourself to a couple of pairs (look at M&S jeggings, also Sainsbury's, they are good value) Holes in jeans or leggings do not look good even on under 50's.
Lose the mini skirt. Harsh, but true. (I assume you wear the leggings UNDER it not OVER?) A long big sweater or tunic will look much better and be easy to wear. If you don't want to faff around with scarves, don't, but they can jazz up an outfit. Keep your DMs if you like them, but consider a pair of ankle boots (suede doesn't need cleaning!)
A rain jacket or duffle coat (or if you feel brave enough) a poncho on top and a backpack or crossbody bag and you could go anywhere!

Not sure about a backpack with a poncho, DB. In fact I'm never sure about backpacks anyway, but that's just me!

Good point Ana croosbody bag under the poncho? I only suggested the backpack as etheltbags does not sound like a "handbag" girl. I may be wrong of course!

depends on your shape, I would look like a Peruvian flute player in a poncho and back pack.Plus backpacks are easy pickings for the light fingered.
No holes in anything Ethel and clean shoes/boots.No bobble hat, unless you are going for a country walk.
clean jeans or black trousers, tunic top, or any slightly longer top, a bit of chunky jewellery or scarf and a bit of make up.It's not dressed up, just casual, but does look fairly smart.
When DD1 was about 17 she used to go about in DM's, and a hat not unlike Compo in the Last Of The Summer Wine.Having a good figure and long flowing hair, she got away with it.Not many people can.

We all like to wear what is comfortable but I don't think holes in tights and dirty shoes would be my scene if you really want to feel good. I personally love the hippy look but it doesn't suit me even though I am a size 10 or 12 sometimes. My friend (died 2 years ago) dressed hippy but it was always clean and tidy and it really suited her and looked amazingly young. A friend said to me last week that I always looked well turned out. I was quite amazed and wear jeans a lot but that is how I like to look and feel comfortable. We don't have to spend a fortune nowadays to have comfortable clothes as charity shops have a mix of styles so it shouldn't break the bank. I have bought a couple of things there before. Nowadays we can get away with wearing any style.

I also think it is a confidence thing Ethel but you know what? You ARE worth it.

Sounds like you stand out already Ethel , if you want to blend in and go unnoticed, just wear jeans, or leggings, with a jumper, fleece, tunic, dress, shirt, whatever and boots or trainers - whatever is comfortabe. I am currently living in a pair of tan suede lace up boots £7 from Primark! (may have been reduced due to a small mark) .

Padded jacket or duffle coat for warmth - unless you choose very bright colours you'll be totally anonymous at any event barring a posh dinner party.

Wear what you like and what feels comfortable- no one has the right to criticise you as long as you're not dressed indecently!
Whatever your clothing choices, it's important to be nice and clean. Grubbiness is desperately unattractive and antisocial, and something that most definitely will be noticed and commented on, so if you don't want to stand out for all the wrong reasons, get scrubbin' girl!

The point is do you need to be smart? Just reasonably clean and tidy does for most occasions. When I had to have dealings with our bank manager I used to dress like a successful business woman and I still dress up a bit for my husband's consultant although we know each other so well now that I'm sure he sees right through it.

I like to look fairly colourful and arty farty if I'm out in the evening, but I'm not sure it would count as "Smart".

I am an ancient hippy... I wear ankle boots with me long skirts and mix and match...I am 65 I go for quirky and rainbow socks. Go for it and enjoy your individuality

Etheltbags Wear what you feel comfortable in.You are you and don't let anyone say what they think you should do or be.

I gave up smart when I lost my DH. Now its comfort cool in summer comfort warm in winter.

ethelbags, do your own thing. Your look is unique by the sounds of it, and dare I say, brave too? I imagine dressing as you do might attract attention.

I know what you mean by not wanting to be looked at or getting attention.I am much happier if I can fade into the background at a social event. I don't like attracting attention now I have gained weight because of illness, drugs and enforced inactivity. I feel inferior and that's my problem.

I wonder if I am alone in HATING with a passion going to the hairdressers? I hate that just cut and blow dried look. I have to ruffle up my hair when I leave the hairdressers. So many women of my age seemed well groomed and coiffed. They look after themselves. I am very low maintenance and think it's too late for me to change now. In my head I see myself as a slightly ruffled, punkish Debbie Harry (of Blondie fame)type. In truth I am probably more like the Mum in leggings in the Royle Family.

If we try to be what we're not we feel uncomfortable too.

Most of us can be outrageous women who wear purple, or whatever else we want to now. Go for it Ethelbags. Comparisons to others are odious I've found. I can only be me.

Ethel, if it upsets you to be stared at, why not make a few little changes as suggested by the others? I confess that I would have done a double take at a wedding guest who turned up in jeans. Did you wear your unpolished DM's too?

It's good that you know what you like and are comfortable with your own style. Our style makes a statement about us, but I'm puzzled when you say that if you dress up in the house you have to dress down before you go out. Also, you say that just sometimes you would like to dress like other 60 year old women and I think that's rather sad. However, I bet if we all met, there would be almost as many different styles as there are GN members. Just a few little tweaks to your own style and people will be looking and thinking wow, she looks good for 60!

Totally with youEthelbags I'm a bit of a hippie too. Also I dislike pattern, sequins, and certain colours and shapes. Makes dressing up difficult at times

As others have stated getting older make some of us less likely to conform to an ideal as far as dressing is concerned and I know I dress for myself and in what I find comfortable. Winter clothes include, jeans, ankle boots and leggings, I don't know where I'd be without the latter. Sometimes I like to look smart, but I can't do "dog's dinner" type of dressing up. I just won't do dinner and dance occasions, I refuse to subject myself to the tyranny and expense of that sort nonsensical occasion. Each to their own.

Think you have got some really good advice Ethel , most seem to dislike the idea of dirty boots holey tights and worst of all the bobble hat ! The only other thing I would say is if you are over 30 , mini skirts are definitely out - I have a friend of 66 who has a great figure and insists on wearing mini skirts still . It just looks so wrong/tacky and to be honest I am a bit embarrassed when we are out together .

I think it's easier than ever to look stylish, to be fair. And I don't think "smart" in the conventional sense appeals to many of us, from what I can see. I think there are items that must be avoided (for me it's a fleece and court shoes) but otherwise there's no excuse to be scruffy or unkempt.

Primark is your friend! I've just bought a biker jacket from there at about £20. Someone upthread is sporting lace up boots from there. It doesn't matter if you make a mistake-the cheapness gives you an opportunity to experiment with different looks.

I'm wearing lace up boots (not DMs), with socks over leggings plus grey v-neck tee. Big watch, statement earrings. When I go out later I'll put on biker jacket and a colourful big scarf. Hair done and full slap. And nails.

If I want to look smarter I use the same basic look but skinnies and blazer, heeled (not high) boots and maybe a different bag.

If it's cold, I wear a smart but hopefully not frumpy coat. Same general look though.

I think the key is grooming, not "smartness" per se.