Is this behaviour appropriate.

Tuliptree

I’ve only just found out that the react button on MN is only seen by the person whose post is being reacted to.

Yes, which is a shame really.
If you hit it you can see who has responded.
The laughing emoji was removed as apparently
it was being used negatively, also a shame imo.

I have only just realised that anything I post doesn’t
show up pink to everyone else -

sigh

Tuliptree

Cossy - I’m really not interested in the motivation behind the spamming . What is concerning is that there are some posters who continue to minimise /excuse/ explain away their tactics. Hopefully that might stop now ( the spamming and defending) and this thread can fade away. The support Allira thread is there for anyone who wants it and that’s absolutely fine. Noons as far as I can see has ever suggested it should be deleted.

Come on Tulip I’m agreeing with you on the whole, so long as we all move on and all agree to stick to the appropriate threads why be concerned about anyone’s “tactics”. Personally I don’t think anyone on either side of this argument has actually done anything wrong.

Let’s just all play nicely!

Cossy - I’m really not interested in the motivation behind the spamming . What is concerning is that there are some posters who continue to minimise /excuse/ explain away their tactics. Hopefully that might stop now ( the spamming and defending) and this thread can fade away. The support Allira thread is there for anyone who wants it and that’s absolutely fine. Noons as far as I can see has ever suggested it should be deleted.

Well, it's a right kerfuffle and no mistake. I think there's many on GN who enjoy reading threads and those who read and also post occasionally and who feel they been ignored for whatever reason.

It's particularly annoying when you're a casual poster making a really valid point but no-one's responded only for some other, more regular poster just upthread to repeat your post almost verbatim (whether inadvertently or no) and get lots of replies.

But hey ho, it toughens you up and makes you think, get a grip, things are different IRL, it's just an opinion forum that's occasionally pleasant/stimulating to read & post, especially on the lighthearted threads. IMO

But in the interests of fairness, the very regular posters, some of whom seem to be a bit 'our gang' do keep things going so it's quid pro quo I guess.

I come on Gransnet on a rainy day, like today, where I am up to date with my chores and have a few hours to kill. I’m not doing childcare so have a look on Gransnet for light relief. I’m not looking to make friends or meet up, I have enough of that in my real,life but it’s fantastic for those who can and do.

I don’t come one here to find myself in the middle of a raging argument about things I don’t understand. Many know the background to this ban but equally many like me are completely in the dark. Who are the malicious poster/s who got Allira banned? Should I avoid them? How would I know?

Many people think like me whether new or old. I don’t want to get involved in something where I only know half the story.
I’m not policing any threads, find it quite offensive to be accused of that actually. But, equally, it is my right and that of others to come on here to talk about vacuum cleaners, ill health and ailments, travel, gardening etc without feeling that this topic is going to pop up and derail the threads into something else entirely.

It would be a much better environment if everyone followed the suggestion to desist from personal comments.

Grandmaofone not only are the recipes old - the photos are often NOT of the thing being cooked...

It drives me bonkers - but when I wrote to them (@gransnet) about it they didn't seem to care - so we still get a mushroom pie with no mushrooms, a cheesy pea something with no peas and a blackberry something with no blackberries in the photo (say).

Well said was for doodledog.

Well said.

Ok, so I’ve read and reread this thread and have come to two conclusions:-

Aveline et al did nothing intentionally wrong and did what she felt would be positive and well received and help Allira.

Tuliptree, though, has raised some extremely valid points and although I really want to see Allira back, I also would love to see an end to all this back-biting.

Can we just not agree to stick to the original thread for our support for Allira, respect the fact that putting things on other threads was done in good faith and with no ill intent.

If we cannot agree to the above, let’s just respectfully agree to disagree and move on?

Annie, thanks for commenting

As has been said, it’s not the unfairness of Allira’s ban, or the strength of feeling about that which is being questioned. People are objecting to the way threads are being controlled/policed/call it what you will by comments, and are expressing their opinion on that.

The response to that difference of opinion has been to double down and get defensive, which is precisely why people have said they are reluctant to disagree with others. Discussions need disagreement or they die. Making it difficult for disagreement to be expressed is controlling the discussion. Simply pointing that out is not ‘policing threads’, it is expressing an opinion.

The fact that some people have known others for years, have made friends and met up is lovely, but not relevant to the point. Length of service does not confer seniority on here. Questioning people about how long they have been members, apart from being rather rude, suggests that newcomers’ posts carry less weight than those of old hands, which is not the case. It is bound to be offputting.

MissAdventure

Are like buttons anonymous?
Would that spark up the number one ladies detective agency to try and work out who the silent "liker" was?

here, have a like

GN is an old fashionedly structured site compared with MN
even, perhaps it is perceived as being homely and more in
tune with our age and lifestyle, the ads do not change
or develop, the recipes stay the same.
These are observations not criticisms.

If like or dislike buttons glowed in the dark and flashed
with our user name beneath I would still use them.
Saves words.

Nothing new is there. Over the years there have been numerous complaints about cliques on GN and bully tactics. Some posters who hark back to earlier years saying GN was a happier place then are looking through rose tinted glasses.
I wonder what new posters think when confronted by these lengthy repetitive threads.

MissAdventure

Read the room comes to mind.

Indeed

Read the room comes to mind.

Although not guilty of mentioning Allira on the posts about the Henry Nowak tragedy, I am guilty of wondering about her opinion on light hearted threads.
I am not part of any clique, I do not know Allira personally but I do see injustice when a thoroughly decent poster can be targeted by at least one rude and aggressive poster and then banned. This is why I have agreed with others to spill out the matter on to lighter threads so that others are aware of this unfairness.
Posters who are now telling the rest of us, some doing so in quite a rude manner, what and where we should post are guilty of policing the threads, one of the charges unfairly made against Allira.
I do not consider it childish to protest against injustice by whatever means are open to us.

Oreo what difference does it make if people comment on page 30?
Allira's banning should not be bought up at all on any other thread. There is another thread for that. I have looked at this and can't see your argument.

srn63

I too think this site is very cliquey. I read but almost never post, it seems to me that if you don't agree with the frequent posters views you get shot down. I can't call many threads discussions they are just statements of views and heaven help you if you are brave enough to disagree.

Aptly put srn63

Some cliques are simply groups of posters who’ve known each other via GN or in person. Not harmful, but you’re right,
it is difficult to post, even when you’re encouraged to do so. There is one thread, like that, lovely to read, full of mentions about posters on there, but you remain unnoticed if you post, which makes you feel invisible.
Other cliques seem just as you describe above and can result in reports, deletes and evidently bans.
Even posting this makes me nervous about my continued existence on GN.

It shouldn't have been mentioned on there at all Oreo.

Unacceptable

Oreo - one post was one too many on that thread. No excuses. As are any of the posts mentioning Allira on other unrelated threads.( although more irritating and annoying than utterly acceptable ) .

rafichagran

Aveline

OK you new thread police, how do you suggest we continue to convey our distress at our friend's unfair exclusion from this site? We never understood why it happened and GNs explanation made no sense. If nothing else it made us aware that the most innocent posters could be next!

Rubbish, the poster pointed out that it was distasteful to bring this banning up on the Henry Nowak thread. It's also irritating.

May I just point out that the few mentions of a banned poster are solely the few on the last page ( page 30) of the thread on the murder of Henry Nowak.
Have a look at this before further commenting as there was no championing of a cause celebre at all.
Being thread police is apparently something that could get a poster banned btw.

Fallingstar, your post exactly mirrors how I feel. I am an excluded outsider despite being a rare contributor for years.