Is this behaviour appropriate.

TerriBull

I'm not suggesting it has, I hadn't seen the comments on other threads.

So why are you commenting on a thread which is precisely about that?

The point about supporting Allira is that she has been accused of stuff she patently hasn't done.

I am not part of any clique but have been here for a long time and not seen Allira be nasty at all.

srn63

Flippin2

I'm relatively new too,I don't post a lot but I do read things that interest me,there is a definite clique on the site ,reminds me of the mums at the school gates,if you don't fit you're not in and yes I noticed the comments on the Henry Nowak thread and agree they're not necessary and should remain on the appropriate page

I too think this site is very cliquey. I read but almost never post, it seems to me that if you don't agree with the frequent posters views you get shot down. I can't call many threads discussions they are just statements of views and heaven help you if you are brave enough to disagree.

Especially on politics!!!

But its not real life, and respect for people who are new or who have heavy burdens to bear and need to come into GN to maintain contact with the world and sometimes real support and comfort are part of our little community:

And have been really distressed and some clearly stopped posting instead of coming in or considering it. Is this really the GN we want?

Those involved please hear these voices. You too one day may be in that situation:

Consider what you are doing to GN as a whole. and whether what you are doing is in fact counterproductive?

Yes, GN has brought friendship to many over a long period of time, people sometimes meet up in Real Life eventually but this doesn't feel like "Friendship".

kittylester

The point about supporting Allira is that she has been accused of stuff she patently hasn't done.

I am not part of any clique but have been here for a long time and not seen Allira be nasty at all.

Yes those of us who have read that thread are fully aware of the allegation. This thread is not about that but about a deliberate attempt by a group of her supporters to spoil things for others.

I was also disappointed to see comments on the Henry Nowak thread.

I thought it was a difficult thread in the first place... I can hardly ever remember who said what so I'm not getting at anyone in particular - but I'd also like the support to stay on one thread.

If people want to message Gransnet that is a "private" matter.

To anyone put off, please don't be. Some of us like new voices!
Welcome!

Because this thread is specifically about the matter in question, not one that is unrelated.

More importantly, why have you started a thread about a thread??? Which I understood was against some rule or other.

Tuliptree, you cannot dictate how are thread evolves. Conversations drift on here as in real life.

As the person who suggested bringing Allira into other threads I should explain that this was to emphasise the strength of feeling by her friends to the GN management. It was not an attempt to spoil things for others. As to there being a 'clique', (a dubious term saying more about those feeling excluded) well, if a clique is a group of supportive friends, I'm proud to be in one.

TerriBull

Because this thread is specifically about the matter in question, not one that is unrelated.

More importantly, why have you started a thread about a thread??? Which I understood was against some rule or other.

It isn’t a TAAT it’s the exact opposite.

I support the reinstatement of Allira

If I see a post on any thread I am on which is of no interest to me I just scroll on past.

Doodledog is imo so often the voice of balance and reason when contentious issues are under discussion.

Now, does that support for her posts on this thread mean I’m in some kind of clique? No, it reflects the fact I’ve been on this forum for a long time. I find myself agreeing with some posters, less so with others.

Yes I’d like to see Allira reinstated. I don’t see her ass the messiah to reassure you Old Frill. I did enjoy her posts and can’t equate her with the character described by gransnet. It’s a conundrum. The mods decide. We can express our views and fwiw should keep them on the appropriate thread. It’s one of the guidelines not to discuss one thread on another. It’s also insensitive imo to bring a campaign onto particular discussions

kittylester

Is it "cliquey' or just a bunch of posters who have been here a long time and have got to know each other over the years? The same sort of thing happens if one moves to a new area or joins a club.

Would you expect people to pretend they didn't 'know' each other?

I don’t find this site “cliquey”

I’m neither longstanding nor “newbie”

I’ve found, in the main, a bunch of lively, supportive, lovely, free speaking people, willing to share difficult stories and show empathy and compassion and office advice.

Long may it last!

I can see exactly what the OP is saying here, but I can also see why others might mention Allira in other threads too.

I don’t feel Allira “controlled threads” I feel we are in danger of being controlled.

I’m more than happy to continue to show support for Allira and will stick to the appropriate thread set up if people here feel this is the best way forward.

Aveline

As the person who suggested bringing Allira into other threads I should explain that this was to emphasise the strength of feeling by her friends to the GN management. It was not an attempt to spoil things for others. As to there being a 'clique', (a dubious term saying more about those feeling excluded) well, if a clique is a group of supportive friends, I'm proud to be in one.

You might believe that but it’s not actually what’s happened is it? You’ve got your thread to show your strong feelings and support - why impose on everyone else? You are in fact alienating some posters who are very much ‘on your side’ by your spoiler tactics

GrannyGravy13

I support the reinstatement of Allira

If I see a post on any thread I am on which is of no interest to me I just scroll on past.

👏👏👏👏👏👏

TAAT's your opinion! You don't need to shout you're coming across as a Dictator. So I'll bid you good morning and shove off.

AGAA4

I just think that more posters will find themselves in trouble if they bring their 'cause' onto other threads. I don't want that to happen and I don't think it will help Allira at all. May even jeopardise any chance she may have of coming back.

Exactly so (IMO).

Yes, there are those who have known one another for years. Of course they have formed friendships and have reference points that others don’t share. It’s the same in any social setting, but it’s also good manners for people in that position to welcome others, not to continue ‘in talk’ around those who don’t understand it, and to try to include newcomers where they can.

We often see comments from people who find it hard to integrate with others - both on here and offline. They feel that established groups are closed, and that they, as newcomers, are ignored. GN can be a lifeline for those people every bit as much as it can for long-established members who are part of the fabric of the place, but only if they are allowed in.

It doesn’t matter if we are talking about a golf club, a knitting group or Gransnet - it is bad manners to hold public conversations that are only comprehensible to a few.

If Allira’s ban is to be overturned (which I would very much like to see happen) it won’t be because of thread control, goading mods or generally high-handed behaviour. Isn’t that obvious? It’s more likely to lead to a mass ban of those engaging in such things. GN will continue without any or all of us - there are plenty of people out there who will fill the void when we all move on. Let’s not bring that day forward?

Also (sorry!) those who are part of a ‘clique’ rarely see it as such. It’s those outside of it who have that view.

Well said as always Doodledog.

Tuliptree are you a fairly new poster or a returned poster? Just wondering.
I have been here for over three years and in that time have seen nothing but good sense and humour from Allira and there are many other posters who have been here for much longer who know that she sure didn’t deserve a ban.I’ve hardly seen any deletions never mind an outright ban and many of us cannot understand why a pleasant GN member has had to leave the forum.
The only ‘clique’ which is a misnomer anyway, is that Allira has a lot of friends here.

Can’t answer anymore as I am working and on a tea break.

Nannee49

In my mind I see a bunch of very stern head girls - who made them head girls no-one knows - with a flurry of prefects handing out detentions for not wearing your beret outside school grounds or posting what/where they deem inappropriate.

Up to you whether you choose to turn up & accept the 100 lines or carry on regardless.

So true Nannee49.

Marmin

We definitely still need a like button. Doodledog’s 00.07 post deserves many.

yes indeed, I regularly instinctively move to give a green tick
to a comment if only as a means of acknowledging that I have read, agree, appreciate,

also a poster history page, as on the Daily Mail, save trawling.

Mumsnet have a variety of response icons, just a tick would
be fine here on the quieter site.

Yes indeed, bold Doodledog, braving those arrows, tick

Smileless2012

Well said as always Doodledog.

Yes.

Oh for goodness’ sake!

This is not about whether Allira deserved to be banned. It is about how the campaign for her reinstatement is being handled. Very different things.