Has anyone on GN got the right to give private information about you?

I saw an example of this earlier today. I have to admit, when I saw it I wondered why it was being done and why a member would do something inappropriate like that.

Surely, you'd report the post as soon as you saw it - but have no idea how many others had read it. I haven't seen anything odd today though.

Threads like this achieve nothing, but speculation and suspicion.
FP, you seem upset, so if you have an issue with someone, why don't you challenge that person? I would and have done so in the past.

Lucca

Agree Bluebelle. I don’t understand the issue !

As said, intentionally so.

Imagine someone sent you a very friendly pm saying something like 'are you the wife of the famous actor 'xyz'- but don't worry I'll keep stumm. and you replied 'yes I am, but please keep it to yourself'. And then several posters make allusion to this piece of information, which is totally irrelevant to whatever is being discussed, again and again.

Would that be correct and fair?

What on earth?

Thats awful

Or suppose you returned to GN after a period of absence and somebody recognised you but undertook not to reveal your previous username.
And then didn’t.
Would there be a problem?

I haven't noticed any allusions to personal info from several posters to one, but that's not to say it isn't happening.

I can't help thinking that this thread won't help though. If I see something like that now I am more likely to take it on board than I would have been before reading it.

Fleurpepper

Blondiescot

Tizliz

Once you post something on the internet or via email, DMs etc you are no longer in control of that information. Don’t post anything you are not happy for the whole world to know, you just do not know what will happen to it.

This, in a nutshell. Nothing - and I repeat, nothing - on the internet can be considered as truly private.

Of course, if you have given that information out on open Forum. What about if you have NOT given out that information? That is my point.

I get that - but anyone who knows anything about privacy on the internet will tell you the same thing. Nothing is absolutely private - once you post something, no matter whether it's in a pm or whatever, it's there - and could be passed on or shared to anyone (whether it should be passed on is a completely different issue).

VioletSky

What on earth?

Thats awful

Don't worry, this is just an example and not for real. The question is vague, the example, irrelevant. So is the personal information mentionned again and again by several posters. Information which was NOT given.

Fleurpepper

Lucca

Agree Bluebelle. I don’t understand the issue !

As said, intentionally so.

Imagine someone sent you a very friendly pm saying something like 'are you the wife of the famous actor 'xyz'- but don't worry I'll keep stumm. and you replied 'yes I am, but please keep it to yourself'. And then several posters make allusion to this piece of information, which is totally irrelevant to whatever is being discussed, again and again.

Would that be correct and fair?

I would say that you'd been rather indiscreet about yourself if someone was able to make such a good guess from information in your posts.

I'd also say that it would be pretty vile of them to agree to keep it quiet and then broadcast it/allude to it on threads.

I'd report them and ask Gnet to ban them, because inability to keep confidential information confidential cannot at all be 'in the spirit of Gransnet'.

Can’t think why anyone would give out personal information whether pm’d or otherwise. If you do not want it repeated on a public forum then don’t say it in the first place. Job done!

I agree it would disgusting if someone did that to another person, but I’ve always thought that nothing can be truly private on internet once you write anything it’s out there, but yes I’d report them…… the only person I actually trust is myself! Some people just can’t keep a secret! I’d name and shame

I remember my mum saying to me years ago “if you can’t keep your own secrets then don’t expect others to do it for you”.

Fleurpepper I think you may have overshared something in a p.m. and are now regretting it? if I have the right end of this stick! I’d assume you trusted this person who exchanged a private message with you. Now you are upset/annoyed (I think).

Would it not have been better to simply contact that person direct and ‘have it out with them’? By doing it this way we now all know you have ‘something’ that you want to keep a secret and you have definitely piqued my curiosity!!

I’m thinking - are you famous? are you an old poster now returned? are you married to someone very wealthy? My imagination is running riot!

Go on - you might as well spill the beans!
Joke 🤣🤣

It's not our business to be curious, or to speculate,*Ug*.

Fleurpepper is clearly upset about something, we should be supporting her, not spoon stirring. That's why these threads get banned.

HeavenLeigh

I agree it would disgusting if someone did that to another person, but I’ve always thought that nothing can be truly private on internet once you write anything it’s out there, but yes I’d report them…… the only person I actually trust is myself! Some people just can’t keep a secret! I’d name and shame

No naming and sharing, for sure. No reporting either. This is a basic question, about a basic principle, of 'etiquette' and fairness, on GN or any Forum for that matter.

Not only one GN member involved anyhow- but several. If a member chooses NOT to give detailed information about themselves, be it location, ethnicity, or whatever- then it should not be alluded to or boldly mentionned, again and again, in several posts and threads. Simple.

Anything else is wrong and rude.

Leave it at that. Thanks.

I wouldn’t pass on any info sent to me in a pm, unless it was nasty or offensive and then I’d report it to GNet. I expect GN Admin can see pms.

I am with UG here. Before reading this thread, I didn't even know that there was something that I didn't know (if you see what I mean) Since reading it, I now know that some posters have alluded to something about Fleurpepper that she admitted to another poster, and asked them not to mention. I am not in the least interested in ferreting out what it was, but if any member IS nosy, they have by now been well alerted to the fact that there is something to be nosy about

The right thing to do in this case was to PM the poster you first told this private information to, and ask them why they broke their promise not to repeat it. Then you should have reported it to GNHQ, who could have added something to the guidelines, pointing out the general principle that you are trying to establish here. If you consider it an important issue, then the moderators should be aware of it.

i think it's like real life.
you may tell someone something in confidence, but you have no control over what they do with that information.
they may not keep it confidential.
that is a risk whether irl or on here.

Curiouser and curioser

The OP specifies that the information was NOT given, so how did the other person know it?
I agree that this is not a good way to solve the problem, whatever it is. Clearly distressing for the OP

You need to talk to the poster personally (I mean not on a thread like this as it means nothing to most posters) Sort it out between you

Of course breaking a confidence is wrong you know that, we all know that, it’s common sense so I don’t understand why you are asking ? Unless you want to draw more attention
You know the answer to your own question so why post that question into the public domain, HQ have offered to help but you don’t want that, so what do you want ?

What BlueBelle says.

I agree with Bluebelle especially about the thought processes behind your post.
I too am nosey, I also love solving a mystery, and like someone said earlier a "remarkable recall" can be of use sometimes. With all that in mind, I would say the problem might relate to someone disclosing your location which you wanted to keep secret for a reason. I think that it was wrong for them to do so and that you should explain to them how upset you are.
On the other hand I might be barking up completely the wrong tree.