Do you know what?

I'm quite new to GN, so this is an interesting read for me. If I'm on the Politics thread or something similar, I'm happy to get into a good argument. I've only reported one post and that was for somebody spreading conspiracy theories - and I told her I was doing it. If I'm on the TV thread or the Arts & Crafts thread, I stick to chatting.

I don't feel bullied generally as I think feeling bullied can be a state of mind. I'm not saying that to play it down, but some people may be more sensitive than others. (That's interesting - I felt the need to qualify that in case anyone thought I was being disrespectful.)

I've seen some behaviour on GN that has really taken me aback, even today. Posters asking sincere questions or looking for advice and then being belittled or scorned.

I think we're speaking generally biba

One very kind person has pm'ed me to explain the background to this- and I am very grateful

As said, insidious, nameless attacks as in this thread are very unpleasant and cliquey- as the majority has no idea what the context is. HQ should nip it in the bud I'd say.

However, is some threads are upsetting you, you have the total freedom to avoid them

Yes, true, but if someone started the thread asking for advice that wouldn't work.
Perhaps best to avoid the posts which are uncalled for.

ie Sit on the fence.

But the thing that's always puzzled me is why people even respond to the nasty posters. Surely the best approach is not to reply at all, then their thread would go nowhere?

YellowMellow I think the problem is when a thread is started by someone which is non-controversial and perhaps a poster is asking for advice, but other posters jump in with rather strong views on how the OP should have worded their post and how they were going wrong. Then continue to dominate the thread, perhaps even accusing the OP of all kinds of politically incorrect transgressions!!

Lucca, very good, I see what you did there!! Do you know, I have never listened to the Archers. The theme music alone is enough to put me off.

I told a poster it was a disgrace to post ‘ shut the @&#* up ‘ to someone and I got my knuckles rapped from GNHQ for it !!!! It does feel very as if the stress of life is seeping into everything even GN

Discogran. “ umbridge”. Is that where over sensitive archers live ?

I’ve been on GN for a few years now and it does seem more contentious of late. I recently had a post deleted for what seemed to be no real reason - I suspect someone didn’t like my comment and reported me.

Like others, I now try not to engage, I just roll my eyes instead.

FannyCornforth the Search function doesn’t work for me either. What you can do is go to Google, put in the term your searching for and also put Gransnet and you should get some results.

I loved the cold tea malarkey. ☕ I don't see that you can ever know for sure if a poster is genuine, you can only go with what is in front of you.

I'm the same Luckygirl. I leave threads as soon as any spats come into it. I also never join in contentious threads. That's not what I joined for.

Err, umbrage. Fat fingers.

And me! ?

However, I have been taking a step back recently as like others, I'm not sure if some posters are genuine.? lf you voice any concerns, you are accused of bullying.

Lucca, yes me too. As soon as I see a daft question or comment with an emoji, I'm in! It's just a pity that some posters don't get it, and take umbridge at what is generally funny banter.

There was a thread about pink/purple dresses that went on and on .... and on. Also the cold tea malarkey. The variety of topics discussed can go from serious to silly.

I see some names and think “oh here we go”.

DiscoGran

I know I'm probably going to get flak for this but.......... I find the contentious discussions can be hilarious.

Sshhhh! Me too.

I know I'm probably going to get flak for this but.......... I find the contentious discussions can be hilarious.

Some people just like to have a spat. It is really difficult when someone has posted asking for advice/opinions and one person comes along and says something offhand then the next poster admonishes them for what they have said, all the time ignoring what the post was about in the first place. This then becomes a battle of wills between other people and is of no possible help to the original poster. There is no rhyme nor reason to some people's behaviour but they seem to get a kick out of it. How many of them would behave like this in real life instead of hiding behind their anonymity on GN.

Lisagran
Your post @ 09.52.
In a nut shell ?

I have had my wrist slapped a few times for my dry sense of humour but recently I have only wanted to learn the truth and that has not been forthcoming.

Grannybags

I think it's a shame that people feel the need to put 'lighthearted thread' in brackets after the title these days.

It never used to be necessary - we all knew it was lighthearted!

I agree and I refuse to do it.

If posters can't recognise a light hearted/tongue in cheek thread when they see one it's their problem.

FannyCornforth I am using an iPad, I gather some problems are different on laptops and phones. I use the User name, and that generally sets a trail to follow.

The search function doesn't work for me at all.
It always says 'no search results'

As a new-ish member, I don’t really know what it was like ‘before’, but as a newbie I read through all the posts that were trending and I have come to the following conclusions:

The written word often makes it difficult to differentiate between banter and (for want of a better word) unpleasantness - I would hesitate to use the word bullying.

During the last few months I have seen threads of a very doubtful nature where I doubt the OP was genuine, this caused me to refrain from commenting, as I felt uncomfortable, I didn’t want to get mixed up with it, feeling it was a scam.

On less light hearted posts there are often very serious, sometimes militant posters, who will often deride comments made by anyone opposing their views. There is no question that they could be wrong, and when they are, as happened recently, this is not admitted.

Over the course of time members have formed friendships, and as is to be expected, there are “in jokes“. This is often misinterpreted by newer members who are unaware of the background. Personally, I made use of the Search function and read the back stories to make it all make sense.

I struggle to put my final point tactfully...... when beginning improbable and/frivolous threads, the OP is laying themselves open to ribbing, and by continuing to post, is obviously happy for this to continue. I don’t believe there is any malice here, just banter.

Having said all that, in every barrel there will be one or two bad apples who cause genuine distress, but I do hope that various long time contributors will not leave. Gransnet has helped so many in these difficult times, even when it is just getting annoyed about something other than the virus.