Rules for GN cafe

Don't be daft, gd, as baggs says you didn't start this thread. I also am sorry soop is ruffled, but it isn't your fault. Exactly, downsized life is such that confrontation in the virtual world is the last thing many of us want, it seems perfectly fine to me to care for ourselves as best we can by withdrawing from virtual conflict.

Don't you dare leave Grey !!

IF anything you said had been against GN policy - I think it would have been deleted by now and you would have had your wrists slapped. AND even if that had been the case, looking at some of the posts on this thread you would have been deleted in good company!

Well said Baggs, in both your posts today.

There is a poison seeping into many threads, reading them yesterday I did feel sick, may I say ? Don't be driven off the forum , there seems a need to bully and hurt, so, don't feed the need.

Think about a wasp wizzing around , the more we flap it away the more it whizzes and becomes nastier. ?

There are lovely people here , X

I can only agree. Yesterday in particular was a day I would never like to see repeated on GN.
I thought the attack on Soop's Kitchen cowardly and underhand and have only contempt for those who sought to destroy the caring, supportive community we have all benefited from.
It was shameful.

I have never been in Soops Kitchen, I confess I thought it was for cookery ?

In answer to the queries about what a non-judgmental space looks like, here is soop's description of what the Soop Kitchen is for (the Gransnet Cafe has nothing to do with SK, or it didn't until HQ out the Kitchen in it):

The café isn't the kitchen. The kitchen isn't the café. It is a forum for light hearted banter/ sharing of worries/celebrating positives and wishing well to those who need to know that they matter.

put

AGAIN! ?

So it's not for going into to say negative things about other threads.

Ok so firstly none of the 'blame' being talked about has been directed at Soop in fact as I stated in my first post I find this use of the space she has set up as somewhere for people to post who simply want a chat, as not only distasteful, but really disrespectful.
But what really disgusts me is when someone who has used that space to criticise and moan and say things about someone that she was obviously unable to say on another thread, then has the nerve to say that soops kitchen has been attacked. FFS it's people who rush in there make really personal and insulting remarks who are really showing contempt. And I still don't understand why the rest of the nice posters didn't simply report the post or ignore it, but joined in like the greek chorus.

Greyduster

Speaking a Greek apparently.

The usual happened on GN yesterday, nothing more nothing less. It has been this way for quite a while again and I think many posters have noted common denominators.

I can imagine you are feeling a tad upset at how things have blown out of all proportion but the fact is it has become common place for offence to be taken where none was intended and the irony of who finds offence at times is not missed by many I would think.

I am sorry soop and her thread has received such attention but I saw nothing in your post to warrant this mania that has ensued .

I wish you and dear soop a happy weekend and remember this is all yesterdays chip paper and the band wagon will move on to something or somebody else soon.

Greyduster it certainly wasn't you I was referring to and I have posted the comment I found unacceptable earlier on this thread. All this would go away if the person responsible simply said sorry she was having a bad day instead of adopting first an amused and then outraged stance.

Soop's Kitchen is not a 'place', safe or otherwise. It's a thread. We can all see what is written.

Some of us get annoyed when we see posts like, 'Ooooh I've ruffled a few feathers on another thread!'

That is kitchen speak for, 'I've been out with my wooden spoon and stirred up a bit of shit. I'm back here to gloat now because I can't be touched in the Holy of Holies'

Late last night I was jumped on by the head girl on her turbo-charged broomstick for entering into a joke which did not meet with her approval?

It cuts both ways. If you don't want it, don't dish it. I wouldn't dream of going into SK and saying any of the above but I'm bloody well going to say it on here.

No it wouldn't Trisher and I think you know it.

And actually , maybe indirectly , twice in the beginning of the thread Rigby directed her comments directly at Soop . ( Sorry I don't have time to refer back as off to take poopy puppy to the vets :-) )

In regards to the 'rest of the nice posters' ( I'm not sure if that was sarcastic or not ) Maybe its because we agreed Trisher , maybe we could empathise ? Maybe we feel bullied when we do raise a head above the parapet on some political threads.

And that's ok for people to feel that way. And even vocalise it.

That's the thing about perspective, everyone has their own and just because we think differently does not make one of us right and one wrong, it just makes us different. What is said might not be meant as bullying but its how its perceived. And that is the right of the recipient- to feel about it how they like.

I'm bowing out of this thread because for me - its run its course. There are 2 sides and never the twain shall meet. I'm good with that.

As far as I'm concerned it would Nanaand Grampy but then I can only ever speak personally and not for any other posters. I would be grateful if you could take what I say as honest and at least true as far as I am concerned.
Of course people can go and say they have had a bad day/ are feeling down, but is it really necessary to castigate someone and make it so obvious who they are? I have no objection to sympathy, but perhaps the appropriate response would be, sorry for you, but don't bring the s--t in here. Much as one does with a puppy or child. Things need to be in the right place.
Hope your puppy is Ok.

In that case I do Trisher . You sound like the voice of reason , so I apologise for doubting what you say and agree you can only speak for yourself, likewise me.

So, in that spirit , I apologise for offending - I will call them the political posters for expediency- I don't think they're right. But they are as entitled to their point of view as I am.

We're just off with him now - 2 days ago we called him Porky Sam ( probably offended him :-) ) but today he's lost far to much body weight for such a short period of time. The heat isn't helping either. So off to sell my kidney to pay for the vets - ah the things we do for beloved pets !

Thanks NanaandGrampy I appreciate that. I think things can get heated and sometimes people get upset, but really it is just discussion and argument and we should be able to move on.
I do hope all is well with the puppy.

FFS!
As we are all more than likely 'mature' women (and men), why does this thread remind me so much of an infant school playground?
Some folk feel the need to go looking for an argument. It must be dreadful to be so insecure that you think everyone is talking about YOU!
There are truly dreadful things happening in this world, so, appreciate what you have. Freedom of speech isn't a God given right, so maybe thinking more before speaking would be a good idea!
In short, GROW UP!

Ok Juggernat but don't you think that if someone says something the other person should be able to respond?
Freedom of speech is great and we have it on most threads, but if someone sets up a thread as a safe unconfrontational place to post is it then right or fair to use that space to criticise others?

I don't go into/onto SK enough to know about what you're saying sometimes happens there, merlot, but if it does, then I agree wholeheartedly that it's not on.

And perhaps I shouldn't have called it a place. I can see why that might not work now. But I just meant a thread place, one that has its own atmosphere in a different way from most others.

Trisher
No, it's not right or fair for people to use a 'safe, non-confrontational place' to criticise others, but trawling the threads just looking to cause arguments is ridiculous behaviour for an adult!
My whole reasoning is that we should all try to get along peacefully.
Obviously there are always going to be disagreements, but surely we should ALL be capable of expressing differing opinions without resorting to personal attacks.
I have friends whose religious and political views entirely oppose mine, we have 'heated dicsussions' regularly, but we never resort to personal abuse. It's such a shame that some Gransnetters obviously lack that sort of intellectual maturity.
Right, off I go, it's a beautiful day here so we've de-camped across the road to the beach, where DGS is busily tottering about!

Good post juggernaut. Hope you had a lovely day.

soop has always welcomed everyone into the kitchen.
Yes, there are occasions when someone will say that they have been upset on another thread or that they have caused upset on another thread but I have never thought that it was done deliberately. It is possible to cause upset to others quite unintentionally (as well as intentionally). The posters in the kitchen are a core group of mainly daily posters, some who post once or twice a week, some who pop in now and again. There is a great deal of support offered for those who have genuine problems and those who are really down for some reason. Ok some see it as sugary sweet discussion of cats with the odd chunk of cake thrown in but I can assure you it is far from that. We care about each other and the the troubles others have. Support for those with family or ill health problems, general chat and a few good laughs at ourselves makes up about 99 % of the threads.
soop does her very best to pop in every day and reply to most of the posts and is a very supportive and kindhearted person.

I think we'd all agree with that

Hear hear, agree totally.