Unattended cremation thoughts, please.

I understand people saying its up to those left, I'll be dead. But I think relatives and friends like to be able to say, as well "It's what she would have liked."

It seems to me a unattended, or very low attended cremation gives the opportunity for people to gather whenever to remeber and celebrate. However, some may be at a loss as to how to do it. So it seems to me that for me to plan this side of the grave, as it were, is OK. Of course, we don't know the time, but wwe could leave guidance and a sum to pay for an event. That's what I'm coming to.

I find church funerals I've been to OK but sometimes the vicar drones on, and assumes the people are lapsed CofE!

Well I dare say a vicar would be against such a thing because he is a man of faith. Religious.

My husband thought food and hard when he was dying six months ago about what he wanted and decided in a direct cremation as neither of us are (we’re) religious. I am a Humanist.

My husband respected the fact that funerals could be viewed as support for the bereaved and so he discussed his wishes with me and our two girls.

We three were in agreement that his wishes were paramount. We chose not to know the date and time of the cremation - what would I have done sat by a candle and cried? I (we) were already heartbroken at his death and that date was burned into our minds. We didn’t want another date to mark his passing no thank you.

No regrets. We did what was right for us as a family but recognise others see things differently.

Each to their own.