Friends Becoming Distant

Grandma70s

I am not interested in having a large social circle, but I have three very close friends. One I’ve known since we were fourteen, one from when we were in our thirties with young children, and my very best friend from when we at university. Our lives have run parallel. We got married at roughly the same time, had children at the same time (two sons each), and are now both in our mid-eighties. She’s the only one I now see regularly. The others are too far away, but we keep in touch by phone.

There is one friend (ex-friend?) I’d like to see, but she has drifted away, I think because she likes to be very active, always doing things, and I am not able to keep up with her. She is younger than me. To me this isn’t how a real friend behaves, so I feel very let down. I think she has difficulty with relationships beyond the superficial.

I sympathise with you here. This is how my critical friend is. She's joined this walking group and thinks I should want to go on walks when we meet up. I am able to walk but walking for miles and going nowhere isn't my thing. She spends the whole time criticising me which is why I don't meet her as often.

I am not interested in having a large social circle, but I have three very close friends. One I’ve known since we were fourteen, one from when we were in our thirties with young children, and my very best friend from when we at university. Our lives have run parallel. We got married at roughly the same time, had children at the same time (two sons each), and are now both in our mid-eighties. She’s the only one I now see regularly. The others are too far away, but we keep in touch by phone.

There is one friend (ex-friend?) I’d like to see, but she has drifted away, I think because she likes to be very active, always doing things, and I am not able to keep up with her. She is younger than me. To me this isn’t how a real friend behaves, so I feel very let down. I think she has difficulty with relationships beyond the superficial.

I do not have a large friendship circle, but the friends I have are staunch, although now being diminshed by death.

Just let them slide. If they want to know you they will soon contact you.

Friends for a season and friends for a reason.
I’ve had those ……

petra

Some friends are chapters, not whole stories.
That’s the way I think about friends.

True.
I do have one friend though who is a total drain on my time. I keep her at a distance as she’s not a person you could easily cancel. She’s Constantly moaning about money, she has just received a windfall, so obviously it’s not enough.
How she wishes her husband would die so that she will get his pension & insurance money.
I don’t need friends like that in my life.
Her husband is a lovely man, quiet, but a bit too boring for her.
One day I hope he wakes up & smells the coffee 😞

I don't have friends,my family keep me going,I've been let down by so called friends who only want you when they're bored or no one else is available and I decided enough's enough..

I think with the rise of social media, the notion of having perfect, super-compatible friends has become almost obsessively important. Also there's an extra-sensitivity to perceived criticism. Maybe there's something wrong with me but I can't imagine why that has come about. We're all just people trying to get along, and everyday life throws enough sh-you-know-what at us, without giving ourselves grief because someone has made another friend she likes quite a lot.
Life would be stale if we didn't have a variety of relationships and if a friendship has run its course, that's fine, it's normal. If a friend meets someone else she gets along with, I doubt very much whether she's being intentionally spiteful to any of her old friends. It's just what happens in life.
You've got two options with the friend you spoke about - you can either try (gently) to find out why she criticises you so often or you can try not be so readily available and see whether she stays around - the ball will be in her court. I wish you luck. Please don't let it sour your life.

Some friends are chapters, not whole stories.
That’s the way I think about friends.

Yes get shut if you have other more positive friends.
I don’t let people live rent free in my head anymore.
Life is too short.

Friends do come and go over the years but I have a couple of steadfast friends, sadly they don’t live near me. As our lives change I find our group of friends do too. Is not a bad thing is just life. Wouldn’t really worry about this too much, if you find friends distant or awkward just hold onto those closer to you that you have more in common with.

Yes, and it was sad but we’ve moved on

I would get rid,concentrate on your real friends, those you have something in common with.

Sorry for the typos, I am rushing this to get back to work.