Hello, just wondering if anyone has any tips for how to deal with my husband's constant negativity?
We've been married 40 years and he's always been a bit negative.... if I suggested doing something or buying something he would always say "no" immediately, I think it was for fear of agreeing to something and then regretting it.
He wouldn't even discuss baby names until I was 8 months pregnant "in case something happens" and he's a "glass half empty" kind of person, whereas I see no point in worrying about outcomes that I can't change until they actually happen - which they generally don't.
I have noticed his negativity getting worse...... "those plums will go off before we've eaten them" (no they didn't, I made a tart and it was very good) .... we've got far too many tomatoes, we'll never eat them all (tomatoes and plums were a "gift" from a family member who has a large allotment) so I made a tomato sauce which will keep in the fridge for several days if necessary..... not that the tomatoes were over ripe. When he (again) said "we have too many tomatoes" I told him that he didn't need to worry, I'd made a sauce..... now he says that it's a shame to use such delicious tomatoes to make a sauce and the giver would be very upset if he found out. I hasten to add that we had a large tomato salad with fresh tomatoes for lunch.
These are just the latest examples but it's constant "why are we going to see these people, we have nothing in common?" (they are lovely and have become our best friends), "there's no point in doing X or Y as it's going to rain" (it didn't). "Why are we going to the coast in a heatwave?" (Because the car has air conditioning and it will be 5°C cooler there.... and the place we go is not a holiday hotspot so it will be quiet).
I am having to bite my tongue more and more often and I am frankly getting worn down by the non-stop negativity, so would welcome "coping" tips. Or possibly advice about building a new patio......
