Wife does not want sex.

David49

There are often posts on this site where it's the husband that doesn't want sex and the wife is frustrated, it's an issue for both sides that may destroy a marriage if you let it.

I quite agree.

I'm with Wyllow3- what keeps couples together is sex or not - cuddling, touching, sharing, loving gestures AND good communication and mutual support in the face of life's ups and downs

If those things are lacking and you are unable to talk to each other how you feel- I would suggest seeking the support of a counsellor to guide you both.

MissAdventure

He must be easily pleased, us all i can say.
T was hardly a steamy conversation.

🤣🤣🤣

Why not get a hobby which doesn’t require you to make a post and then never return? Or at least respond?

At 76 it's time to give it a rest. Why not take up golf or some physical activity and leave your poor wife in peace.

He must be easily pleased, us all i can say.
T was hardly a steamy conversation.

Sago

I think Norfolknun has had his kicks now.

Agree.

MawsRosie

This is all such nonsense isn’t it?

Yes!

This is all such nonsense isn’t it?

I think Norfolknun has had his kicks now.

Can understand fully.........as you get older you can remember the good old days but a sexless marriage or even just physical companionship is a bitch when lacking. Lost a spouse after 48 yrs of beautiful relationship but remarried the wrong person and have been 19 years without any physical relationship at all.

Theres so much ‘make believe’ here in some posts 🙄

macaydia says he is not of value to this lovely lady how on earth do you know she’s a lovely lady she could be a complete tyrant for all you know
Posters are just seeing a few words and weaving their own story around it .
But as Norfolknun has gone back to the convent (laughing all the way) we will never know

janeainsworth

Macaydia
You should amicably part ways and find a lover because she can no longer fill your needs.^If I were in your shoes, I would abandon sex to stay with my partner but if that frustrates you, you will need to give up the partner.
Are you in the habit of dishing out such drastic advice to random people on the internet about whose circumstances you know absolutely nothing?

Yes. Absolutely.

Wyllow3

BlueBelle

Do we know it’s a gentleman !! Couldn’t a woman have a wife ?
Would a man call himself a Norfolknun surely it would be norfolkmonk

If the O/P was a women she would be unlikely to say, "everything is working". that is so a man.

Yes, a man. And if everything was not working then there would not be a problem in the marriage, would there? I say, he needs to cut the ties and carry on elsewhere so she can get a life without him because he is not of value to this lovely lady.

Macaydia
You should amicably part ways and find a lover because she can no longer fill your needs.^If I were in your shoes, I would abandon sex to stay with my partner but if that frustrates you, you will need to give up the partner.
Are you in the habit of dishing out such drastic advice to random people on the internet about whose circumstances you know absolutely nothing?

Well the bit that is patently wrong is her not being willing to reciprocate in whatever way works for both of you, whilst expecting you help her! Talk to her!

Nobody has shared anything, though.

On more thought I think the name is the giveaway.

Not that the discussion has no interest, ie the conflations of sex and love, the difficulties couples run into when desire is different and love cant find a way, or men who can't do what they used to cope by switching off sex or wont use viagra or engage in the many alternative sorts of intimacy possible:

But I don't "buy" the story: it would make a nice little snippet to hand on in SM as regards some people's sharing.

There are often posts on this site where it's the husband that doesn't want sex and the wife is frustrated, it's an issue for both sides that may destroy a marriage if you let it.

BlueBelle

Do we know it’s a gentleman !! Couldn’t a woman have a wife ?
Would a man call himself a Norfolknun surely it would be norfolkmonk

" I'm 76 but everything still works" sounds more like a man.

Esmay

It's always very sad when one partner wants sex and the other doesn't.
But my heart goes out to your wife -she's lost her child and has breast cancer .
- one of these events is a crisis .
It also early days since the cancer diagnosis .

Just enjoy precious days out with your wife and don't put any pressure on her to have sex .

You know the reasons your wife no longer wants sex and this is unlikely to change. You seem more interested in your own loss and feelings than hers.

But these days you have plenty of alternative sexual reliefs available; masturbation to online porn. Or a discreet rendezvous with a sympathetic prostitute in a hotel room. Or visit a "massage parlour".

petra

So you’re saying that your sex life was the lynchpin of your love for your wife.
I hope your dear wife never finds out that you’re so shallow.
Poor woman 😥

Norfolknunv says their wife is happy to be brought to orgasm but doesn't try to reciprocate the pleasure. I don't think Norfolknun is entirely at fault here, rather just very confused by the situation they now find themselves in.

The whole situation sounds pretty horrific and messy.

You stated “your wife’s daughter” I’m wondering how long you two have been together.

Have you tried having a very calm and gentle chat with her about how she’s feeling about this whole thing and how she’s coping in general.

At 67 and married for 30 years I can now or leave sex, but I’m happy to discuss this with my husband, who is 70 as sex is more important to him than myself.

Smileless2012

I can understand your hurt and frustration norfolknun especially as you're satisfying your wife's need to orgasm and that's not being reciprocated.

You say if you try to discuss this, you get short shrift and while I have the utmost sympathy for all that she's been through, I do think that she's being unfair.

A marriage is a partnership and if a fundamental aspect of that relationship changes it needs to be discussed. Sex doesn't have to be the 'be all and end all', but if someone for whatever reason decides this is something they no longer want, it's a mistake IMO to refuse to discuss the affect this may have on the other.

I think you need to be honest and tell her how this is impacting on your feelings for her. That's not to say she should ever feel she should engage in a physical relationship if she doesn't want too, but if you do decide you no longer wish to remain in the marriage, she needs to know why.

I'm sorry you've had some rather unpleasant responses and I wonder how those who have made them would feel in they were in your position.

I quite agree.

Not in my wildest imagination can I believe OP woldn't be impacted by not having a loving relationship with their spouse. Age isn't the issue, we're in our 80s, have no intention of sexual abstinence.

Perhaps OP should discuss, splitting if no resolution is reached.

Indeed it could be a female posting. There are women too who prioritise their genital pleasure and superficial appearance above a deep emotional, loving connection with a devoted partner.

When things change [bereavement/partner aging/trauma/illness], they're either complaining, feeling entitled or they're off. Met them.