Wife does not want sex.

If your wife has been on hormone treatment for her breast cancer it may well have affected her libido. She can't help this, it'll be the medication.

petra

So you’re saying that your sex life was the lynchpin of your love for your wife.
I hope your dear wife never finds out that you’re so shallow.
Poor woman 😥

This is why I left my last relationship and have never had another.

In all my relationships I have concluded that sex is the bottom line for men, and for them there is really nothing else.

Thank goodness I don't have to do that anymore.

So you’re saying that your sex life was the lynchpin of your love for your wife.
I hope your dear wife never finds out that you’re so shallow.
Poor woman 😥

wife's daughter and only child died suddenly 3 years ago, withing 3 months my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer

I think you should give this poor woman a break.

Your wife has been through so much, She is trying to get by each day with all that she has experienced. She has had the very rug of life pulled away from under her feet and you are worrying about yourself?! She needs support, love, understanding, security, safety. Sex is probably way down her list of priorities at the moment. Have you thought of getting her to go to an accredited therapist who may be able to help her get through the dark tunnel she has found herself in. Poor lady. My heart goes out to her in a million ways.

I think you undoubtedtly love her but you need sex which is one of the reasons people marry. 2 years is a long time for health reasons but five years is way too long. I am sorry but she is now "a friend" a good friend, but not a lover. You should amicably part ways and find a lover because she can no longer fill your needs. If I were in your shoes, I would abandon sex to stay with my partner but if that frustrates you, you will need to give up the partner. I am so sorry it has come to this. Hopefully she is good with this choice.

You never know - she might prefer women. Or a different man. Just go. Dont hurt her.

That sounds really tough. You’ve both been through a lot, and it’s understandable that you’re feeling frustrated and a bit shut out.
It’s hard when your feelings and needs aren’t really acknowledged, even by someone you love.

Maybe try finding small ways to reconnect, not necessarily sexual, just moments that remind you why you’re together.

And it’s okay to be honest about how this is affecting you, even if it’s scary. Feeling closeness again isn’t impossible, it just might take patience and a fresh approach.