Wife does not want sex.

Or nun, as in woman.
A woman who likes women.
Is that different, in some way from a man posting?

petra

Allira

BlueBelle

Do we know it’s a gentleman !! Couldn’t a woman have a wife ?
Would a man call himself a Norfolknun surely it would be norfolkmonk

Good thinking, Miss Marple!

I think he’s being nasty.
Ie, nuns not having sex.

Or it means nun as in none.

BlueBelle

Do we know it’s a gentleman !! Couldn’t a woman have a wife ?
Would a man call himself a Norfolknun surely it would be norfolkmonk

Does it matter, sex can be just as important to a same sex couple, most relationships get-together the point of one partner not able/willing to engage in sex. If you love your partner you accept their wishes, what damages a relationship is resenting the fact and not communicating at all.

When my wife's illness got worse sex was not pleasurable there was no point, so intimacy became kind words, kisses and cuddles. I would have been 66 a the time and accepted I had had a "good innings".

Neither do monks (apparently).

Allira

BlueBelle

Do we know it’s a gentleman !! Couldn’t a woman have a wife ?
Would a man call himself a Norfolknun surely it would be norfolkmonk

Good thinking, Miss Marple!

I think he’s being nasty.
Ie, nuns not having sex.

Any posts could be fake.
It isn't lurid or gratuitous in any way.
If it's any consolation, there could be many people who never post, but get great enjoyment reading about women's shoes.

Unless the OP sorts this out by telling the wife all that’s gone wrong, an honest conversation between the two of them, then nothing will change.

I thought this myself- but I agree it could also be a fake post.

BlueBelle

Do we know it’s a gentleman !! Couldn’t a woman have a wife ?
Would a man call himself a Norfolknun surely it would be norfolkmonk

Good thinking, Miss Marple!

She has had a 5 year break.
Perhaps she had lost interest before, and the trauma she's faced has just exacerbated the situafion.

If your 'love' only exists when you're having a very regular sex life and fades without it, then it's shallow.

Like 'men' who go off their wives when they have a mastectomy or similar trauma to their body [which has probably provided them with children].

I've met them in my life, both men and women...[yes, women can be as shallow too]. And now Thank God I'm very happily single and will always be.

Your wife needs a break, or the chance to meet someone with more depth of soul and integrity. Someone who doesn't think with their genitals and weep for themselves when their other half is trying to come to terms with their losses.

I agree with Smileless2012 there are two people in this relationship who both need to have their emotional and sexual feelings considered.

I agree with your last three posts, Wyllow.

Or it's a set up: but we have given honest replies to the best of our ability. Shall we see if O/P returns?

BlueBelle

Do we know it’s a gentleman !! Couldn’t a woman have a wife ?
Would a man call himself a Norfolknun surely it would be norfolkmonk

If the O/P was a women she would be unlikely to say, "everything is working". that is so a man.

Yes, Miss Adventure.

I have had varied experiences. What it has taught me is that what holds people together - sex or not - is cuddling, touching, sharing, loving gestures.

Yes passion can indeed be part of this, but without real intimacy love may a death eventually.

Be it from a man or woman.

If she "just" wants an orgasm, there is DIY. For you too.

But I do agree with what others have said, there is probably a great deal going on under the surface: only loving talk, with help from a counsellor if need be, can help resolve what you ask.

tbh, I think a sensitive man would give the same advice, and it is up to men to find and develop the kind of communication you seek. Mens sheds, at al.

Women are too often asked to sort out everyone's emotional issues instead of men being able to turn to each other and sometimes believe me pay a high price for doing this.

But, paradoxically, perhaps only other men could understand what you are really asking. Women can only guess unless we are trained counsellors.

Do we know it’s a gentleman !! Couldn’t a woman have a wife ?
Would a man call himself a Norfolknun surely it would be norfolkmonk

That could be said of either person.
The only way is to talk about it; they owe each other at least that.

MissAdventure

There's no right or wrong.
Either you'll have to wait patiently until perhaps your wife feels like rekindling your sex life (which perhaps may never happen)

Or, your wife can grudgingly have sex that she doesn't want, has no interest in, just to please you.

The best thing to do is have a talk about the situation, I'd think.

And perhaps end up leaving him because she has had enough.

I can understand your hurt and frustration norfolknun especially as you're satisfying your wife's need to orgasm and that's not being reciprocated.

You say if you try to discuss this, you get short shrift and while I have the utmost sympathy for all that she's been through, I do think that she's being unfair.

A marriage is a partnership and if a fundamental aspect of that relationship changes it needs to be discussed. Sex doesn't have to be the 'be all and end all', but if someone for whatever reason decides this is something they no longer want, it's a mistake IMO to refuse to discuss the affect this may have on the other.

I think you need to be honest and tell her how this is impacting on your feelings for her. That's not to say she should ever feel she should engage in a physical relationship if she doesn't want too, but if you do decide you no longer wish to remain in the marriage, she needs to know why.

I'm sorry you've had some rather unpleasant responses and I wonder how those who have made them would feel in they were in your position.

Luckygirl3

*wife's daughter and only child died suddenly 3 years ago, withing 3 months my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer*

I think you should give this poor woman a break.

I know

maybe talk to her about it?

There's no right or wrong.
Either you'll have to wait patiently until perhaps your wife feels like rekindling your sex life (which perhaps may never happen)

Or, your wife can grudgingly have sex that she doesn't want, has no interest in, just to please you.

The best thing to do is have a talk about the situation, I'd think.

It's always very sad when one partner wants sex and the other doesn't.
But my heart goes out to your wife -she's lost her child and has breast cancer .
- one of these events is a crisis .
It also early days since the cancer diagnosis .

Just enjoy precious days out with your wife and don't put any pressure on her to have sex .

petra

So you’re saying that your sex life was the lynchpin of your love for your wife.
I hope your dear wife never finds out that you’re so shallow.
Poor woman 😥

Hear hear!!

keepingquiet

petra

So you’re saying that your sex life was the lynchpin of your love for your wife.
I hope your dear wife never finds out that you’re so shallow.
Poor woman 😥

This is why I left my last relationship and have never had another.

In all my relationships I have concluded that sex is the bottom line for men, and for them there is really nothing else.

Thank goodness I don't have to do that anymore.

Totally agree with you. How would this gentleman, the OP, feel if the boot were on the other foot?