Is a new relationship possible without sex?

You must tell him, again, and maybe suggest a neutral meeting place, not your home. You need to consider your own safety. Be prepared for him to not turn up at the new venue or ( better) to end the friendship here and now. Better that than find yourself in an impossible situation.

If you don't want to divulge any further information to him,can't you tell him that you are celibate and it's not going to change

SORES

However,
after consultation with a wolf -

whilst you are giddy with delight at the prospect of a
‘new man friend’ -your conditions are unrealistic

In his mid fifties, of course he will want a physical relationship.
be prepared for this to end badly

Sores, he's an ex-lover from the past . Not so "new".

He's previously known her as a passionate sexy lover so now they're getting on like a house on fire again , small wonder that he hopes/wonders if her old flames might re-kindle. He probably interpreted no sex as no sexual intercourse.

I agree she has to tell him that when she said no sex, that means no sensual contact at all. No kisses, hugs, cuddles, handholding, pecks, strokes, pats.

He needs to hear that before the next date at her house.

Back to that ‘old chestnut’, the platonic friendship’ personally I don’t think they really work, if one wants sex & the other doesn’t.
I’d just let him meet someone else.

It looks as if everyone whose responded is 'on the same page'
Dazy.

You need to make your feelings absolutely clear and include that anything more than an affectionate kiss on the cheek, is off the table.

I would 'phone him, tell him how you feel and you'll understand if he wishes to cancel Saturday's arrangement. I hope that he'll want to continue to see you as a friend.

I am glad somebody else got the coercive and disrespecting vibe he is sending

David 49.. Is spot on. You need to tell him you can be friends but without benefits.
Don't do it by text call him. I would cancel your next meeting and then why him hopefully the "penny will drop" your serious.
It's a shame but you both have to be on the same page, especially if you become heavily involved, otherwise too much heartache.

Surely you don’t expect a man in his 50s to go without sex ?!!! If you don’t give it, he’ll get it from someone else.
Good luck with the friendship…. once you’ve had a chat with him, I’m sure he’ll understand, as long as you understand too.

Does "Shutting up shop" mean the building has been demolished?

For many people, I think the capacity for intimacy is still there; it’s just behind a very heavy, rusted shutter.
You said yourself "after a barren decade or so and fear of sex"...
Might you be open to seeking some professional advice?
You initially said it was "medical stuff" but it may be mainly fear.

I am NOT suggesting you change your mind. Just wondering if you had given "outside help" a thought - irrespective of this man.
You are still young.

Sex is typically quite pleasurable to both, you're not inclined towards sex, I'd think perhaps telling him politely "no sex, just a lovely friendship".

It would be very unusual to be able and willing to totally give up sex in his 50s.

This is not a "soon-to-be new man friend" - which is what he presumably thought.

It seems to me to be better navigated as an "occasional coffee catch-up" if you enjoy each other's company.

It's such a shame, he obviously still sees you as this person he met in the University years , alas you were both different then.
I think you need to say how much you value his friendship, and caring about each other BUT that you need to 'Set out your stall' No means no and always will. You will have to swallow your pride and say you are happy for him to move on if he wants this side of a relationship with someone but that it can't be you, now or ever. Don't give him false signals or that could result in nasty misunderstandings and hurt pride down the line. Be very clear. If he's not understanding or willing to go 'Friendship only' which I don't think he is, then you will sadly have to be strong enough to walk away.

No this won't work. Ask yourself why you would even consider having any sort of relationship with a man who clearly doesn't listen to you or have any consideration for you.
He won't take no for an answer believe me!

If you have decided that sex is not for you then tell him, he will then either accept it or move on, if a couple live together then mutual agreement is essential. For a long-standing marriage agreeing no sex is easier you have established loyalties, families and dependencies. For a new relationship it's going to be much harder, if he wants sex and you don't it's not going to work.

Keep him as a friend and let him live the other part of his life as he wants, even thats going to be hard because if he has another date when you expect a phone call you will feel rejected.

Well yes, you can have a relationship, as really close friends. Sounds as though that’s not enough for him, though.

Is he in his 50s too? If so, it’s quite a big ask to expect someone to be celibate ad infinitum. So yes, you need to spell it out again, crystal clear with no room for misunderstanding.

How would you feel if he sought a sexual relationship elsewhere? If that thought upsets you, I really think you should go your separate ways.

Keep him as a friend if a kiss turns you off

I’m with Luckygirl and others here. You’ve made your decision which is a perfectly valid one. Many men seem unable to accept no sex as part of a loving relationship. It sounds as though he thinks eventually you’ll happily be seduced.
You won’t. He needs to accept that as the basis of continuing friendship

I think you both have different agendas. I think it would be only fair of you to tell him the truth but say you really value him as a friend but definitely not with benefits.

Men always want sex, always. Even if you don't want to participate actively in intercourse he will want you to do things for him. So if you cannot bear to try then you need to manage when and where you meet as friends very carefully.

Luckygirl13 - a post full of wisdom (as many others here)

It is clear that this is not just about being unable to have sex for physical reasons, but that you do not want to have any sort of sexual contact at all. That is fine and you should not see this as any sort of failure on your part. It is a valid life choice.

But it is not compatible with pursuing this relationship. You have told him you want no sex, but he is proceeding on the principle that the word "yet" was in there somewhere and that if he continues to woo you then you will come round.
He needs to know very clearly that this is not the case.
It will mean the loss of a friendship that you are enjoying, but it cannot continue with this background incompatibility ticking along and you knowing that he will always be waiting to make his move.

However,
after consultation with a wolf -

whilst you are giddy with delight at the prospect of a
‘new man friend’ -your conditions are unrealistic

In his mid fifties, of course he will want a physical relationship.
be prepared for this to end badly

I looked it up - a truism from Lana Turner

he has been circling you and licking his lips
before sticking his tongue in your mouth
which is usually a prelude to sex
he sees you as playing hard to get -
you now present a challenge
if he intends to visit you at home,
he is moving in for the kill
then he will slink back into the forest

Dazy. - “A gentleman is simply a patient wolf”

I think you’ve done very well. You have already told him where you are with this subject. That was the biggest step and you’ve done it.
When you speak about it again, you will be telling him something that he is already aware of and so there’s no reason for you to feel uncomfortable about it.
The reality is that it’s a difficult subject to discuss. And you’ve done it. You should be congratulated for your upfront honesty.