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Someone I know shouldn't be driving. In my opinion.

(19 Posts)
beachcomber76 Tue 23-Jun-26 19:13:31

I'm actually concerned about someone in their mid 90's may have an accident.

When I see them in the car I feel agitated as I'm sure reactions and quick decisions definitely slow as we get to such a great age. So I'm thinking of other road users too. I know there's an eyesight issue going on.

Not sure if I'm being too anxious on his behalf or whether I should mind my own business. I think it's for family to say something not me. [I don't know him well enough to have a conversation].

Oldnproud Tue 23-Jun-26 19:27:56

I know the feeling. I have heard that a relation by marriage is so unfit to drive now that he struggles to change gear, so I imagine his ability to brake is equally bad.
It only being heresy, and there being several much closer relatives, both by blood and geographically, who I would hope would take action if things are as dangerous as they sound, I am hesitant to do anything, and I would even have to go behind OHs back if I were to report my concerns.
However, I am very seriously considering doing that, as I would never forgive myself if he were to injure someone,or worse.

Debbi58 Tue 23-Jun-26 19:33:51

We were very concerned about my fil driving a few years ago . He was 94 then
My husband and mil weren't keen on talking to him about it , because he just dismisses you . Then he had an accident in a local shopping centre , totally his fault , he couldn't argue as they had it on cctv he was very lucky no-one was hurt, he never drove again

valdali Tue 23-Jun-26 19:36:13

It's hard, as a) everyone's different (My Mum at 87 has really quick reflexes).
b) Cars give old people independence if their mobility means they can't walk far.

It is up to the people who know them best, to say something to them in most cases I think.If they DO have an accident (hopefully not, & low speed crashes are less dangerous) then blame's on those close to them, not you.

kittylester Tue 23-Jun-26 19:40:58

You can report anonylously to the DVLA and you definitely should.

I hear so much of people saying that the person only drives around the local area - children run out from behind cars even in the local area.

MollyNew Tue 23-Jun-26 19:41:41

You can probably report him anonymously to the DVLA if you're concerned. I expect there is guidance on the gov.uk website.

We were relieved when my late dad decided not to drive after the age of 86. He used to think his car was faulty when he actually didn't have the strength to operate the pedals or gearstick properly. He hated losing his independence but he knew it was the right thing to do.

Padella Tue 23-Jun-26 20:01:52

Please report them. No-one's independence is more important than someone else's life. Someone will go along and assess the situation, they may think they're fine.

Doodledog Tue 23-Jun-26 20:09:02

The difficult comes from the fact that you don't know for sure, unless I've misunderstood? You are basing your concern on the fact that you are sure that reactions slow with age. IMO that is not enough to go on to deny someone the right to drive.

Of course, if you are sure that he personally has slow reactions and poor eyesight then it's a different matter, but just going on your post you are prejudiced against him because of his age.

winterwhite Tue 23-Jun-26 20:13:02

Minding your own business is a harsh way of putting it, but just knowing that a driver is in his mid 90s doesn’t seem to me to justify reporting him to the DVLA. It smacks of vigilantism.

Anonymous reporting is a bit cowardly. If you feel strongly enough to take action, I think that action should be talking to the man himself, certainly in the first instance.

Allsorts Tue 23-Jun-26 20:29:21

Three people i know were not fit to drive in their 80’s, in the end they all wrote cars off and couldn't get reinsured, just glad no one was hurt. One, my fil, wouldn't listen to us and got quite angry, he went on a motorway the wrong way and still blamed the other drivers when his car was written off.

kittylester Tue 23-Jun-26 20:49:20

Please report anonymously. If they appeal they can take a test.

fancyflowers Tue 23-Jun-26 21:00:51

Some older people do have slower reflexes when driving, but most accidents are caused by young drivers who sometimes drive recklessly and over the speed limit. This is why insurance premiums are so high for new drivers.

ViceVersa Tue 23-Jun-26 21:13:05

I would definitely report anonymously. I remember covering a court case where a man in his late 80s had pulled out onto a main road, killing a motorcyclist. He was ordered to take an eye test by the court, and it transpired that his eyesight was so bad that he could be registered as legally blind.

Overthemoongran Tue 23-Jun-26 21:37:02

My late father really thought he was a good driver, but actually he was appalling. His car was covered in bumps and scratches which he denied knowing anything about, “ other people keep hitting me in car parks”: was his usual retort when asked about them. I managed to speak to his GP ( who each year had been ticking the box on his license renewal) and the GP managed to convince Dad to have a driving assessment which he failed dramatically…the assessor stopped the test half way through. Dad was livid when his license was taken and never understood why, but I’m so pleased I did something about it. He could so easily have killed somebody.

V3ra Tue 23-Jun-26 21:49:29

ViceVersa what a truly dreadful story.

If anyone's still debating whether to report someone, this is what could be at stake ☹️

kittylester Tue 23-Jun-26 21:51:10

fancyflowers

Some older people do have slower reflexes when driving, but most accidents are caused by young drivers who sometimes drive recklessly and over the speed limit. This is why insurance premiums are so high for new drivers.

That is not a reason to leave a dangerous driver on the roads.

Usedtobeblonde Tue 23-Jun-26 22:03:51

How does one report anonymously?

winterwhite Tue 23-Jun-26 22:04:34

The OP has not said that the driver is dangerous. She just fears he may be. And why report anonymously? Think what you are saying.

V3ra Tue 23-Jun-26 22:08:27

When my Dad was still driving the care manager at the extra-care apartments told me she'd seen him pulling out of the gates in a reckless manner, and other drivers having to brake sharply.
Dad of course denied this..

He was already waiting for an appointment for a brain scan as part of the assessment for possible dementia.
I confiscated his car keys. We already held his spare set.
He wasn't happy.

He said he'd just go down town and buy another car.
I said he wouldn't get insurance.
He said he'd just drive without it.

I transferred sufficient money out of his current account so there wasn't enough left to buy a car.
(I have PoA for his finances).
He wasn't happy.

The brain scan confirmed he has vascular dementia.

Sometimes you just have to act.