How do you get on with In Laws ie son or daughter in law

No problem

Forcing anything to develop and to exist because of social rules is a recipe for disaster

A parent/offspring relationships has been forged over decades.
It is unrealistic to expect the same with a grown adult in a much shorter period of time

I think it's a combination of luck of the draw and your own attitude/approach. I have two daughters-in-law and feel extremely lucky. I get on very well with one of them and would say we are close. The other one has an entirely different personality to me and our relationship is OK.

As others have said, there's need to force a close relationship. I remind myself that my sons chose these women and love them - that's the most important thing.

I consider myself lucky as I get on with both my son in law and now to be ex daughter in law.
I think we all just accepted the way each individual was as a person and have had many good times together. Sadly my son and his wife are now getting divorced but my daughter in law and I still speak. I must admit I just take people as they come and it seems to work. I do feel it for those whose in-laws are not good with them but we never know how their families were before joining yours.

Thanks Hithere, that's quite reassuring.

There is a good book on this subject by Teri Apter called "What do you want from me"? She's an academic who specialises in family relationship issues.

I have the daughter in law from hell, i'm afraid. Tried everything and still get the silent treatment when in her company.

I honestly see nothing wrong with your approach, OP.

Your son/daughter getting married does not mean you are also personality compatible with his wife/husband, enabling a friendship or a daughter/son relationships

As long as you treat each other respectfull, it works out.

I have been very fortunate with all those types of relationship.

I think it is a bit the luck of the draw.
Some people like to remain private.
Fortunately the ones in my life do not.

Unless you’ve both a shared interest ( other than the family), something that you both enjoy doing together, independently of them, it’s unlikely to develop not anything resembling a close friendship.