How do you get on with In Laws ie son or daughter in law

I love my Son in Law for the wonderful and kind person that he is. He is funny, self effacing and loves bread making, growing vegetables, watching Rugby Football and seems to be able to talk to anyone about anything!

I get on well with my DIL, I think of her as a younger friend, but never think of her as a daughter, my own DD lives in Australia.

My SIL over there is a nice chap, we don’t see a lot of them but we were there last year. We hadn’t been over there for some time, and I thought he had matured over the years into a really good husband to her, which is good.

It's a relationship which takes a while to adjust to. Since I have been a widow I have had to make more adjustments.

My 4 in-laws are all really good people. I get on with them all but one DiL is an easy person to be with as she's very laid back and accepting.

The others are a little more distant. I.e. they don't confide in me but why should they?
My DSiL is quite a reserved man and we rarely have long discussions.

All 4 are wonderful parents and love my DC Could I ask for more?

My own mum adored all her in-laws and they responded by pandering to her needs and foibles.
I was close to my parents in law although we weren't like best buddies. We knew our places 😅

I love my ex-DIL to bits. I have a good relationship with her (and her family). Her mum is particularly keen to say that she gets on well with her ex-MIL and wants the same to be true of her relationship with her ex-SIL.

If your son/daughter has had a bad relationship you are especially wary of the next one. Like someone above I am deeply grateful that someone lovely has come along for my amazing daughter! I love him for loving her.
I love that my daughter's partner is kind and thoughtful and clearly cherishes her.

My other four adult children have partners I like and am happy to spend time with. I always make a point of noticing and commenting on the things they do that are generous or caring.

We may have little in common apart from the fact that we love the same people but that is enough for me as a starting point!

...and I gradually grew to love my mother-in-law very dearly. The slightly "distant" way she seemed more than half a century ago, when we first met, is the way some people protect themselves from (further) pain.
It has been a privilege to know her.
💐

My dil and my two sils, really fantastic relationship. I have always given them their own family space and even now, never impose. They value my opinion and treat me with love and respect

My mil, I too loved her, more than my emotionally-distant own mum. I cried buckets at her funeral but never cried for my mother

My extended family in-laws, well they are now distanced. They lasted for a year after my husband died

I think it's harder to accept a Dil than a Sil. Men tend to go with the flow and don't put on any pretence, women unfortunately will try to change their partners (your son) and this is hard to accept. I have five sons and have watched their wives come along and totally change my sons and sometimes not for the best (in my opinion).

I have two d's-in-l and one s-i-l. We all get on well together but I wouldn't say I was particularly close to my sons' wives. My s-in-l and I have a very special relationship although I don't know how. I suspect that I find it easier to get on with men because I come from a family of nearly all men and have worked in male dominated industries for most of my life. The siblings and their partners are all great friends so I am happy to not rock the boat - if either of them make any effort to get closer I'll happily join in but after all these years I can't see that happening.

I have one son in law and an ex son in law. I won’t talk about the ex as he is a very difficult awkward man always was still is as they have two children to co parent.

My DD1’s husband is a good husband and father and works very hard and nothing to dislike but we have never felt comfortable with him. He is polite doesn’t really communicate openly with us and is very involved with his own family and has never wanted or needed us in his life really. We feel his rare visits are “duty visits”. We are kept at a distance and my DD1 is very critical of us as the years have gone by and we sadly see little of them.

DD2 has a new partner. He is kind and friendly but I have reservations as they appear to want different things so time will tell I guess. Maybe I will get lucky with this one

I fell in love with my DiL at first sight. I still do not understand how such a lovely woman was prepared to take on DS. He has ADHD and dyspraxia . To say he is untidy and disorganised is an understatement, and this despite everything I did to try and instill some organisation and order into him.

We do not live close, but usually see them for a week several tiems a year. Her mother is also a dear friend. Sometimes the two families feel and act as one.

I know how lucky I am, and would never do anything to risk disturbing our frienships.

I get on fine with my SiL the husband of my eldest daughter.
They met first day of VI form college and have been together ever since, 32 years, a devoted couple with their own daughter now 14.
So man and boy.
He is a charismatic family man of integrity and forebearance.
I think of him as another son really.
His mother and I are close friends too which helps.

I just read this whole thread, at last.

Grammaretto, your last sentence made me laugh,
I wish my own MiL had abided by this golden rule

All 3 daughter chose good men with good families we get on fine with all of them.
My wife told all 3 girls to make MIL a friend if they want an easier life, they did just that and were actually closer to MIL than their mother.

some are bitches

Our daughter in law is wonderful, if I had to chose between her and my son she would be an easy choice!
I have to say that I think it is really important to take care with this relationship. I'm lucky because she is lovely, but even if she had been a real cow I would have definitely gone the extra mile to stay on good terms with her.

Only had 1 SIL. Tried to talk daughter out of marrying him to no success. Divorce going through shortly, thank the lord. Total waste of oxygen. No, I didn't get on with him. Left daughter with £5000 debts.

I have 2 son in laws and they are both like sons to me. After having an awful abusive marriage the two lads are just the best husbands and dads and that’s all I want for my 2 girls - I couldn’t have picked any better. I count myself very lucky

I love my DIL to bits! She is a lovely girl & we do share a love of reading very similar books. Plus as we both have said we do love the same man-my son! We can be comfortable with each other & I feel I am lucky as she is more daughter than daughter in law. If I had a thousand woman lined up & was told to pick one for my son if my DIL was there she would be the one I would pick. They are very good together & bring up their children very well! So I am very lucky!

I have two daughters in law. They are both lovely but one comes from a very different kind of family to ours and certainly lets us know! I think it’s more that she’s disappointed with us than us with her! Once they had children, she became more distant and although we don’t argue, it’s clear that she doesn’t get us at all. We have much more in common with our other d in law and so the relationship is closer. I think it’s all a minefield personally and a lot of tolerance is required!

My son's first wife was a control freak, but we tolerated her for his sake and the grandchild. But they parted thankgoodness and now he has another partner, and they have a child, she doesn't interact with us at all and is very closed, but that's fine, they have their lives and are adults, so we just stay in touch with them as much as we can.

I adore my Sil, he and my girl met at 16 and have been together for 13 years. They got married in 2025 and are very happy. My DD went through a very bad time when she was 14 and self harmed. She did tell me about it and I took her to counselling but the experience lingers. As soon as she met my future SIL he brought the life back in her eyes and me, my oh and ds love him for this. On her wedding day he told me he loved me and I told him the same. The best thing about him though is if my oh is being politically incorrect my sil puts him right in such a calm, respectful manner lol

monami

some are bitches

Blimey monami, you appear to have had a bad experience!

Mine are lovely! Both strong, independent characters but kind, gentle and thoughtful. Couldn’t ask for better partners for my AC.

I definitely have never had any luck with men in my own life, but I can honestly say I’ve struck gold with my 2 daughter in laws and my son in law, I absolutely adore them all. I feel so privileged to have gained 3 such kind and lovely people into my life. My daughter has just arranged for her and I to go on a long weekend to Venice with both daughter in laws, plus my 2 granddaughters and I’m over the moon. How lucky am I, and I do so feel for others who for whatever reason, cannot form close bonds with theirs.

We have a delightful DIL, she's a force of nature, works hard and looks after DS and their 2 boys. We also have a terrific SIL, DD's 2nd husband. We really loved her first husband & we're devastated when the marriage failed but, seeing her with her new man, it's quite obvious they were meant to be together. They suit each other perfectly, it's a joy to see them. Sadly, DD was unable to have children but SIL has 2 now in their early 20s. They are a very happy family unit and we're delighted how it's turned out.

I'm very lucky in that my son-in-law of 12 years (been together about 15 years) is a really lovely guy and very popular. Everyone loves him. Also, my younger daughter's partner of 11 years is equally loved and also a really lovely person. They are both thought of very fondly by family members and friends.