60 years married

I too can’t imagine what housework can possibly take all day mine takes about less than an hour 🤣Make a bed, wash up , prepare some food double that as there’s two of you (and one of me) and add maybe a weekly hoover and a bit of cleaning.
Batch cook and freeze

We are 60 years married too, our domestic tasks are organized in the same way as yours. You seem overwhelmed and I understand your feelings as I am finding cleaning more taxing now and intend to find a cleaner in the new year to do the heavy jobs such as kitchen, downstairs cloakroom, bathroom and en suite.. Since he retired DH has taken over most of the cooking which he enjoys and he is better at it than me, could you delegate some cooking to him? Is it possible for you to get a cleaner to help you?

It is simple. Do less. Less cleaning, less cooking and whatever else fills your day - and set your DH tasks. 'I m feeling really tired. You can sort out lunch/supper'.

I am not sure what you do in the housework way that takes all day, but do less, only clean once a fortnight. Clean rooms you do not use regulalry only once a month or so. If your DH does all his work in his own room - then let him clean that for himself.

The answer is delegation and a firm assertive voice.

It is division of labour - each has their own tasks. If you want to change this so he does some of yours and you do some of his you need to tell him this.

The more I read the more I love being on my own
Well sit him down and ask if he d like to give you a hand at this that or the other I would say exactly what you would like help with as I find (in my opinion) men react better to definites than vague ‘could you sometimes give me a hand in the kitchen’ but a ‘could you peel the spuds’ or ‘can you wash these up’ seem to push them into being more reactive