What are the limits on parental love and should it have limits?

It’s complicated isn’t it?
There are or should be limits to protecting an adult child.In cases of MH parents are anguished and know that their son or daughter would be living on the streets if they didn’t care for them.Where crimes are concerned it depends on the crime committed.
Not all parents are good, far from it and in many cases don’t even look after their own young kids let alone adult ones.

Unfortunately it’s very often poor parenting at the root of the problem.

I am really thinking of the extreme cases like those I mentioned,rather than merely children pushing the limit, and I really do not think that upbringing comes into it. many children like this are mentally ill or mentally abnormal in some way and the parents see themselves as failure for having a child like this (of course many are adult children), many parents struggle to admit just how 'deranged' their child is and struggle to admit it too themselves, this is becoming clear in the Southport enquiry and the elder abuse case I was involved with. there is that unexpressed beleif that there can be a solution, something minor, that does not require anyone to do anything very much, certainly not involving in authorities in any way.

Thank goodness. I have never faced anything like this, but I do wonder whether if things were as bad as these cases, I would not at some point step back and tell my child, thats that, you are to get out of the house and, almost, my life and I would turn to the authorities and say. I have done what I can, you take over.

Bit harsh sago and don't know why the picture was included. As parents most of us do the best we can and often make choices or decisions which are not always for the best. I agree with agnurse loving our children does not mean we condone their behaviour.

Unfortunately it’s very often poor parenting at the root of the problem.

How AR had come to dominate the family home in such a way has to be down to a complete lack of boundaries.
The photograph of the families living room said it all.

Our daughter became very rebellious after leaving university, she came to live at home, she had a good job but had a female friend who was a bad influence.

We gave her 4 weeks notice to leave our home, we didn’t want her younger brothers thinking her behaviour was acceptable.

She left and moved into a flat a few miles away, we helped her move and it was all reasonably amicable.

It was the best thing we ever did.

She now realises what an entitled madam she had become!

The attached picture is the Rudukabana family living room..

Parents condone drink driving very frequently, a son or daughter driving home from a party is very common. The reality is that it’s very rare for a parent to report their child whether adult or not for any crime or even misdemeanor, most parents would defend them to the end

I think it's important to make a distinction between loving your child and agreeing with or even enabling their behaviour.

As an example, I have family members who have made choices that are contrary to my personal values. I still love them, even if I don't agree with their decisions. Now, in these cases, fortunately, they are not illegal actions so I am not faced with that decision. However, I do think there is an obligation not to enable people and in some cases to report their behaviour if there are serious risks. (For example, if a parent found out that their child was driving drunk, I think they have an obligation to report to prevent injury.)

Aww, paddyann, so sad.💐🕯

I don’t know about evil but my parents dealt with my sister and her husband who became alcoholics.
Over two decades my parents paid deposits for rental flats,for their children’s clothes,.Took her and the kids in for months at a time to try to get her away from him ,had her steal from them .
Sent my younger sister and I to her with cash when she phoned saying she had lost her purse …a regular call .Eventually they sent me with bags of food and clothes instead of cash .
It was the most difficult decision of their lives when they needed to step away from her.My father had heart attacks caused by the stress .He died and my sister died 10 months after he did by choking on vomit when she was drunk ,her husband was unconscious and woke too late to Save her .
Tough love wouldn,t have worked,she was besotted with him hadn’t drank alcohol until she met him .
My parents adored her and thought helping was what they should do. I,m sure there are many families who do the same.

I just hope I'm never tested.

Please ignore the ‘you’ at the end. No idea how that got there!

Maybe it’s a case of the parents hoping that loving their child enough will eventually sort them out. Unrealistic, but I suppose they are clutching at straws.
I have been trying to think how I would respond if it were my child, but just couldn’t imagine it.
I know that I feel for the poor parents. You

Family loyalty and wanting to hush nasty things up ? Sometimes those constraints can be very,very powerful.

I don't think the issue is love is it, sometimes the greatest demonstration of love would be handing your child in.