If it is that his mother is able to control him like this then it sounds like very deep rooted behaviour which you are not going to be able to change. I also agree with others that he may be using his mother as an excuse to keep you at a distance. Either way it sounds like he is scared and avoidant of making his own decisions, it doesn’t sound like he is a mature grownup who takes responsibility for himself. I think if you stay in it much longer then down the line in the future when you do realise this isn’t going anywhere you’ll regret having wasted so much of your life on him. .
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