You don't say if you are cooking Christmas day, if so this could complicate things. Do you have a partner?
I was thinking you could take control of the little one and purchase some suitable toys which you both could play with while your SIL and daughter go out for a couple of hours and they might try and come to a compromise for the day.
Having time as a couple if both are working can be hard work on a relationship this could give them a little breathing space to talk.
There are lots of alternatives to this, your other half could cook or your daughter, you could just prepare a buffet to make it easier than a full Christmas lunch. Most of this could be prepared the day before.
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