Returning home after surgery

I have osteoarthritis in my left knee. We live in a maisonette and I find it extremely difficult to return to the first floor flat due to the stairs. Doctor told me a knee replacement won’t be necessary so that’s one good thing.

I’m sure my sister-in-law went into a Nursing Hone (?) after her operation. She had to pay for it, she is quite well off. Scaredycat if I were you, that’s what I would do, and get your unhelpful husband to pay the Bill. That’ll teach him !

I have just spoken to a friend aged 819 who had a knee replacement in November. She said it was a long time before she felt confident to do anything much apart from get out of bed. She lives alone in a bungalow.
She was 2 nights in hospital.

I like the hotel idea primrose 😃

She wouldn't like me to say she was 819 although she probably felt it
I mean 81.
I also meant to acknowledge NanKate who suggested the Premier Inn.

Could it be that he's aware that you need to practice stairs even if you don't want to?

If you have a downstairs WC you only need to do it once a day up and once a day down. If he walks behind you he can help you feel more confident.

Just wondering.

My daughter is only too pleased to bring a bed downstairs when I am staying over, it’s no trouble at all for her. I have great fun with my 2 grandsons and the 2 retrievers who all jump on my bed.

I’m sorry for anyone who might think iits an inconvenience to bring a bed downstairs

Get him told SC

Of course it's a trouble to bring a bed downstairs. They are big awkward things. It would take several people to do it. The OPs husband may be elderly himself.
If the OP really couldn't manage stairs (and they are quite possible after a TKR) then a short hotel stay could be the answer.

A low bed is probably going to be more of a problem than stairs.

Good point Cabbie

The stairs seem to me the least of the op's problems. The knee will probably recover - he husband will probably get worse.

Great idea, Kate!

Tell your not so dear H your welfare and temporary needs come before his inconvenience and arrange with whoever has offered to help, bring a bed downstairs for you. Look after yourself first.

You will be shown ways of managing the stairs in hospital but you may be discharged the same day or the next morning, as happened to a 75 year old friend of mine.

My mother had a hip operation many years ago and my father was as intransigent about moving a bed downstairs as your husband is. Fortunately some friends of my mother's arrived, swept into the house, removed a single bed from upstairs and set it up in the dining room while he was out. I suggest you allow your friends to do the same; it is your home as well and if you feel safer downstairs then you insist.

Another alternative would be to speak to the hospital. They will ask you whether you live alone and who will be there to support you. If you have no support they won’t send you home. You could always explain the situation as you’ve told it to us and they might have a word with your husband or keep you in a bit longer.

Aveline

Of course it's a trouble to bring a bed downstairs. They are big awkward things. It would take several people to do it. The OPs husband may be elderly himself.
If the OP really couldn't manage stairs (and they are quite possible after a TKR) then a short hotel stay could be the answer.

My son brought a single bed downstairs by himself for DH when he needed one.
With me hovering anxiously, offering to "help" or phone a friend.

what's he normally like when you are ill; does he look after you properly.

I wonder if Scardeycat will let us know if the problem has been resolved.

I would be very hurt as well. If he won’t do it then can you ask a relative or maybe friendly neighbours to help. Sorry but if he won’t do it then maybe get it done over his head. I have had a hysterectomy in January and also 71. Hubby has been great and doing all the meals, shopping etc but no housework unless I ask. Please stand your ground as I have backed down in the past with other issues to do with hubby and regretted it.

I used to own a tall aerobed, we used those for a while after we moved house. It was very comfortable and is easy to inflate. Moving a single bed from upstairs to downstairs would not be as easy as getting an aerobed. They are available in normal bed height and when finished with, can be easily packed away for visitors

Kalu

Tell your not so dear H your welfare and temporary needs come before his inconvenience and arrange with whoever has offered to help, bring a bed downstairs for you. Look after yourself first.

This!
Managing a few stairs in hospital isn't the same as lugging your weary body at the end of the day.

You may find you can manage, but a week or so downstairs won't hurt.

I would find someone to pay to fetch your bed down, as no doubt it is an upheaval.

I just hurt my knee badly - and they wouldn't even let me leave hospital on crutches until I could show them my stair-climbing skills. My method was to bend the good knee, then follow with the dodgy one, a single stair at a time. I found it quite hilarious, though, as I live downstairs, so don't need to go upstairs at all. It's hardly a big deal to bring a bed down, though, so just get somebody else to do it.

So sorry your husband is being so selfish. You can refer yourself to the local adult social services. You can say that you would like help post discharge as your husband is not really cut out to be a carer and you would appreciate some help. For six weeks post op any help they agree with you should be free as you will be a hospital discharge.

You can go on line to self refer.

I would be extremely hurt and angry at his unsympathetic attitude.
I broke three bones in my ankle and had to have an operation, I slept on the sofa for six weeks because I didn’t want the bed downstairs
But a few months ago I had to have an ankle fusion this time I hired a stair lift so I could sleep in my own bed

When my mum had her knee replaced she wasn’t discharged till she could manage the stairs…she was in a first floor flat.

I would accept the offer of help from the others you mention, as it is highly unlikely that you will be able to manage the stairs.

If you don't need a bed downstairs, surely your helpers will help put it back where it came from.

Your husband can like it or lump it!