Good grief was this totally inappropriate?

delete
block
and move on.

You could see if he apologises quickly and see how you feel then. Would you forgive him if it was the drink talking or would that make it worse.

There are men around who arent abusive idiots.

Run.

No you are not being prudish! This was totally out of order and would seem out of character for him too. You already have experience of a partner with alcoholism, please don't step out of the frying pan into the fire! A massive dilemma indeed, and I am in no position to advised really, however I urge you to be very careful indeed! Do you have any close you can confide in?

Totally inappropriate regardless of cause.
Just for information - Inappropriate sexual behaviour can be an early sign of Frontotemporal dementia/Pick's disease. Maybe bear this in mind when considering the cause.

Has he been in touch since to apologise? Completely inappropriate. You can send a final message if you feel you should but if he hasn't even had the good manners to say sorry, I would block him and delete his number

If he did apologise and you continued the friendship, would you feel totally comfortable with this person, or would there be something in the back of your mind waiting for another occurrence?
Likewise, knowing this is in his mind... could you remain happy and contented with his company?
Personally, I'd be thanking him for his past friendship but telling him in no uncertain terms not to contact me again.

It might be a sign of dementia. I find some men get cruder in the way they speak as they get older. We have an elderly workman who visits annually a couple of years ago I was on my own and I realised he had me doing jobs for him like putting protective paper down. He was what my DDs would call an upskirter. He had dementia.
Do you have any mutual friends you could ask to see if they have noticed a change in his behaviour or language?
Personally, I would block all calls and if he persists, threaten to go to the police this constitutes a nuisance call.

Sadly I don’t see how you can recover the relationship.

Move on.

Personally I can’t believe you need to even ask anyone else.
You know the answer really.

Dee1012

If he did apologise and you continued the friendship, would you feel totally comfortable with this person, or would there be something in the back of your mind waiting for another occurrence?
Likewise, knowing this is in his mind... could you remain happy and contented with his company?
Personally, I'd be thanking him for his past friendship but telling him in no uncertain terms not to contact me again.

I agree totally with Dee1012.

It would always be in the back of your mind, no matter how well he behaved in the future.

I agree with Shelflife don't jump back into that particular frying pan Felicity
Just be careful, you obviously have concerns so maybe head should rule heart on this one.
It's a shame when you had such a good friendship previously.

This is so very sad.
💐

I think you have to move on now.
As someone upthread said, if you need to, you could thank him for the previous happy times but say goodbye.

Then you need to keep away, block his number, not let him in your home.

Thinking of you.

One of my husband's workers began behaving and speaking in an inappropriate manner - he was assessed with a brain cancer. Perhaps your chap has a medical condition? But, you really shouldn't be alone with him. End to relationship.

9am and he was already drunk!! You deserve better than this. You know that saying “When someone shows you who they are, believe them. “

If drunk he may not remember . But that drunk ...hmm ....you have already lived with an alcoholic. And you would never be able to forget what is buried in his mind so you know its not really "platonic" from his side. I think you HAVE to move on; I know I wouldnt hesitate!

I agree with Sparklefizz its just not worth the risk and you do deserve better.

Hi Felicity ,
My advice is to say goodbye permanently .
Once a guy gets these sexy thoughts in his head you can't go back to the way things were .
And his drinking isn't great either .

I'm a similar age to you and the same thing has happened to me .
I really hate it .
The guy in question is married to one of my friends , who is seriously ill .
At first , I found him pleasant and friendly.
His wife said he doesn't usually like any of my friends !
I no longer trust him and avoid him like the plague .

Over the weekend , another guy has told a friend that he's lost my phone number and can she give it to him .
I really don't remember him and I've never given him my number .
Apparently , he's bought me a gift .
And that means what ?
His coming round to my house to give it to me ?
Or our meeting up for coffee leading to a date ?
I don't want to talk to him on the phone .

I'm sorry to say that men don't take rejection well and it always becomes unpleasant and embarrassing .

I have five gay male friends and I really enjoy their company .

No apology would enable me to trust or have any kind of relationship with a man after that phone call/
Block him, don’t feel bad or conflicted. Be thankful you’ve seen him

should have hung up on the first bad word not listened to it

You will never be able to unhear what he said and you’ve stated you really never want to see him again so don’t!

You’ve dodged a bullet. Move on!

Wenmore

Totally inappropriate regardless of cause.
Just for information - Inappropriate sexual behaviour can be an early sign of Frontotemporal dementia/Pick's disease. Maybe bear this in mind when considering the cause.

I was wondering about dementia.

I would steer clear, it was totally inappropriate and, if it is due to an illness, you do not want to end up as a carer for someone who is just a friend.

Well in my view you cant forget what has been said... intoxicated or not... the truth is out and I would be really annoyed that he spoilt what I THOUGHT was a lovely, good friendship BUT in my understanding, having a lovely, good friendship with a man is virtually impossible, unless he is gay in which case the relationship is fantastic and 1 to be cherished.