Do not like going out with large groups of friends

Can't you tell anyone in the group how you feel?
Tell them "confidentiality" why you are refusing to join in with things. Maybe they are feeling the same?

I'm a very chatty and sociable person , but occasionally I find huge groups of friends all talking at once a bit much .

I think it's because I'm over sensitive to loud voices and I also can't follow too many conversations at once .
I went to an extremely loud party with deafening music a couple of weeks ago and sat quietly with a lady and her two daughters , who are much quieter than I am .
They were glad to talk to me !

Don't stop going out .
Maybe join something new and make new friends .

*confidentially

I wouldn’t like such a big group either Allsorts
I find about 6 in a group enough.If there’s too many it’s noisy and you can’t chat to everyone. Do what suits you.

It is wrong for people to 'bring along a friend' to what was a small group. I wouldn't like it either.
it isn't what it once was so I would withdraw.

Agree with you and many years ago whilst working at a different place we used to go out. Then it all became too much and I found myself making excuses now I go where I please and stay away from events that don’t suit. Life’s too short.

I like both - going out with just a small group of friends and really enjoy mixing with a large group. I do love a good natter, so for me, the more people to chat to, the better!

I prefer a small group although this week I have been invited for coffee with about 8 people I don't know well.
I was a bit put out last week. I heard one of my best friends was very depressed and on strong tablets so I asked her out for coffee.
I sat at a quiet table for 2 but when she arrived we had to move as she had invited another lady I only know to see. This meant all the chat was about this woman and her family.
I felt this was rude and thoughtless.

I prefer a smaller group because I am hard of hearing and the bigger the group, the louder the voices become and it is very hard to hear over the hubbub. Hearing aids make this worse as you get all the background noise as well as the voice you are trying to concentrate on and the function on the hearing aids that is supposed to help with this problem does not work very well.

I have an 'acquaintance' at my golf club where we are both social members (husbands actually play the golf). I wouldn't yet call her a friend (we're not 5 !) but last time we met she mentioned a day out together and then said "oh, and I'll ask this friend and that friend" neither of whom I've ever met and have no intention of doing so.
I think some people just like to surround themselves with others as they can't keep a conversation going with less than a large group, it becomes a lot of one upmanship, boasting.

My best friend occasionally brings a friend we were at primary school with.She never married and has no family and I now find her very boring as we have nothing in common. We have a much better chat when it's just the 2 of us but I would never say that.

Can you arrange smaller events? That is what one of my friends does. She is quite open with us as the core group that she doesn't want to to spend time with people she doesn't know or like if she is organising something.

My nephew is a bit like that. He finds more than 3 people together overwhelming since he had a stroke. In the past it never bothered me (clue my birth sign is Leo and we are said to revel in attention) but now I too just cant be bothered with big groups.

Yes I agree with comment about hearing and large groups, something that will only increase with age even if not using hearing aids. Bad manners for friend to bring along another person unknown to you if having a one on one meet up. I try and organise a group of friends from school once a year but two seem less committed eg forgetting to turn up or having another commitment for the afternoon when we could have a full day of a decent walk/lunch/chat. I feel sorry for one person who travels a distance for our meet up.

To me groups can be a fun idea with lots of chatter but inevitably one person claims the limelight and I don't find the experience of much value unless we were out for a lovely meal in a nice venue. I don't like small talk much. It's not any real connection in my eyes. For that I like to be one to one with a good friend where there is space and time to talk in deeper ways, perhaps share a problem etc. They are two different things.
How about just asking the friends , one at a time to meet for a coffee? You could say that you miss their specific company.

The good point of a large group is you might meet someone you didn't know before that you feel drawn to and speak to them and ask if they fancied meeting up one to one. You might have found a new friend.

I agree, I too struggle with larger groups. I think it’s thoughtless to just bring a friend along without asking.

I also have problems with larger groups. Much prefer 1 or 2. Anything bigger loses the personal touch and I withdraw.

kircubbin2000

My best friend occasionally brings a friend we were at primary school with.She never married and has no family and I now find her very boring as we have nothing in common. We have a much better chat when it's just the 2 of us but I would never say that.

If all you have to talk about is your family I bet she finds you boring as well.

Esmay

I'm a very chatty and sociable person , but occasionally I find huge groups of friends all talking at once a bit much .

I think it's because I'm over sensitive to loud voices and I also can't follow too many conversations at once .
I went to an extremely loud party with deafening music a couple of weeks ago and sat quietly with a lady and her two daughters , who are much quieter than I am .
They were glad to talk to me !

Don't stop going out .
Maybe join something new and make new friends .

I could have wrote that exact same statement Esmay. I’m very sensitive to noise as I have ADHD. And it doesn’t necessarily have to be really loud noise. Lots of people talking all at once is quite overwhelming.

And a group holiday would be one of my worst nightmares.

Blooming extroverts always love huge groups. No use to us introverts. Just don’t go.

Hi Allsorts. You don't say whether these groups are specific interest groups or simply separate groups of friends. I wonder if people have invited their friends as they see the group as a friendly bunch and that their friends would benefit from being part of it? Or whether they share the same interest. Have you got to know the new 'members' as i am sure they stick to their friends initially, but, as they have joined are willing to get to know others.

With regard to holidays, i have had a holiday with a group of friends and was surprised as to who i actually got along with better, oddly, not my closest friend in the group. We are all different people, some early birds, some night owls, some like a long lazy breakfast, others just a coffee and go and so on, therefore i found myself spending time with the person i knew the least but had similar wants from the time away and we often broke away from the main group to pursue these interests.

There is no reason that you can't ask a couple of your closest friends to meet up for a coffee and be honest that you really can't catch up properly in such a big group.

Hi Tree ,
It's so reassuring to know that someone else feels the same as I do .
My friend had to drag me to the party .
When those quiet ladies left - I did too !

Take care and happy gentle socialising !

I would try and arrange something with a few you really like and explain why. I sometimes do both as occasionally 11 long standing friends do a meal once or twice a year but we all know each other extremely well and sometimes not all of us can make it.

Otherwise I like coffee or a small lunch with just 1, 2, or 3 friends and again we all know each other.

I would not like a friend to just show up with someone I don’t know well if I thought it was just the two us and I think this is both thoughtless and poor manners

I don’t mind large groups as I find you tend to gravitate towards a few people , rather than everyone. I’m in several large friendship groups and I’m closer to some than others . Although I agree some people do dominate the conversation.
I also live in a village and a few friends often invite new comers to coffee , lunches , drinks etc , which I don’t mind as it’s hard to meet people when you’re new to the area and villages can be a bit clicky, and you never know if you’ll gel with them. However they do inform us beforehand.
I understand the hearing aid issue , with a few friends , you have to be by their good ear .