why don't they call to see how we are?

How often do they call when you are both well?

Do they realise you would like inquiries or could they be afraid of disturbing you if you are resting?

I can't say whether they should or should not have called you, as this depends entirely on what kind of relationship you normally have with them.

Sorry if this is unhelpful. Could you ring up and ask if they have time to talk for a minute or two, as you are feeling fed up with being ill and need someone cheerful to talk to?

We don't realise how busy our children are. With housing the price it is and work conditions so much harsher they are never able to relax. It is up to the individual person how much time they give to social stuff and how they allocate their time. Maybe they are having issues with their kids or lives and think you are okay, not dying of Covid so therefore okay. Do they even realise how sick you feel?

I was a bit shocked that anyone would have a “cut off “ time .
Why create these obstacles with those close to you?
It baffles me
Not everything can be anticipated or predicted.
The more methods of communication we have the less spontaneous people have become.
It makes me feel a bit sad ?

I’m a bit confused.

If you want to hear from your AC on a weekly basis, have you told them so? Do you call them?

It seems that there’s unspoken expectations, then hurt feelings and resentment when they aren’t met.

Being clear about what you’d like to happen could go a long way to resolving things. What matters more, who makes the call, or talking to your AC?

Do you phone them? Not every day, as you phone your mother, but at whatever intervals seem both to suit you, and are not obviously interrupting their day/evening. Not to criticise them for not phoning you either, but just to tell them you are recovering from the Covid but still feel tired, to chat, pass on any news, ask whether they have done anything interesting, and so on. And not a long conversation - set a timer if necessary, and when it rings, say "Sorry, I have to go. That is the oven calling me." Leave them knowing that you have been in contact but that you aren't being the same as your mother. They probably know exactly how demanding she is and are hoping you don't go the same way, but there is nothing wrong with contacting them with a "progress report"

The phone works in both directions.

My DD told me to stop worrying about family and phoning and just text.
I'm sorry your family have not contacted you look on the good side they might think you are too poorly to be bothered.
I must admit I would be tempted myself the next time one of them is ill to leave the phone alone. Do they realise that neither of you will be doing any shopping or housework?
I hope you feel better soon.

How bizarre, it was at the top of my active list!

Why resurrect an old thread?

I wouldn’t equate contact with how much someone cares. My husband loves his parents dearly but just wouldn’t think to call them. He says if they have something they want him to know they’ll tell him. He sees it as not bothering them.

We all worked hard, but if we wanted to see our parents we made time to visit, or invited them here (and neither mum nor in laws had a car so needed picking up and taking home, in laws lived 190 miles return away my mum 40) so not round the corner. Parents were an important kart if our little family and Including them in our lives was normal then.
Keeping in touch is so instant now, but it’s not the same, sometimes we just want and need a hug
Tamayra

I have 4 children Don’t hear from them for weeks at a time
I find it mega upsetting
But I have other friends much younger than me who call often to check me out
Interesting as they are very busy but make time to send me a text or make a call. What is it with one’s own children ????

I suppose with us we don’t really contact our Ac to tell them if we aren’t well! Think the only time we would do that was if was a case of if one of us went into hospital! We just get on with things! But we know our Ac care!

I get your point GSM.
But I know many children who don't have those pressures and seem not to care as much as we did.
Phone call once a week is fine, but one son lives 40 minutes drive and has visited once this year.
I know others with similar experience. It just seems to be the norm now.

I think my mother probably saw her mother every day of her life, every afternoon my gran came around for a cup of tea and a gossip.
If she had as much as a cold my mother would be running around after her.
But without wishing to sound spiteful, my mother had very little else to do.

The world of work changed dramatically over the years that I was in it. It’s totally different to what it was in our parents’ day and many older people struggle to understand how things have changed. For instance mobile phones and email mean that in some jobs you are expected to be always contactable. And in my experience people who were used to set working hours, maybe with some overtime if they chose, don’t understand the jobs of those whose work isn’t done until it’s done, however long that may take. My son and daughter in law are in the same profession as I was so I know the demands and don’t add to them. I get a call once a week which I look forward to and if I had a genuine problem they would be there for me somehow. But if I had a mild dose of covid I certainly wouldn’t bother them with it and expect special treatment. Like the OP I have a husband to look out for me, I am not alone.

GSM, old people were once young people too working full time and often overtime with 3 children and house to look after. My mum was very important too.

I may have missed if they know that you both have covid.

My adult boys are hit and miss, but I hear more often from my daughter. I'm sure if they knew we were ill they would contact, but it's not out of the ordinary not to hear from the boys for more than a week.

In fact, my younger son called the other day, and DH jokingly asked 'Sorry, who's this ? I don't recognize the voice!" Pont was taken...

I don't think you should conclude that they do not care. They probably feel relieved that you are both OK, and are just beavering away with their lives.

How often do they normally contact you? How often do you contact them?

I so agree with the idea of Whatsapp. I have a group called Dear Daughters and we wing brief messages and photos back and forth.

OP

How often do they usually call you or contact you?

I am glad covid was mild

I have a horror of sounding needy or pathetic.
Sometimes my husband might suggest we get our son around to help us do something, but I always insist we can do it ourselves.
I tell him that if we stop doing things, we’ll no longer be capable of doing them.

my son is not the best at remembering to call me but he knows me well enough that if i had a problem i would tell him. i am on facebook most nights and my dil asks me if i am okay, they are busy with family and work and i know they would be there and have been in the last few years with my health and loosing my partner. i don't think your children don't care about you, it is probably just like my son, busy with life and know that you would probably call if you need them. you can always send a text saying still here, call if you get a moment.

lixy

I just wonder whether they are trying not to disturb you while you recover - it's tricky thinking about a good time to call someone when you know they may be resting.
Hope you feel better soon.

Another advantage of whatsapp messaging. You can have your phone on "do not disturb" when resting and look at/respond to messages when it suits you.

Thanks I will enjoy that plenty of milk two sugars.

here you go

It will be nice with a cup of tea!