The art of a good conversation!

Have you tried.....
Before I go I must tell you about.....
Or
That reminds me, I must tell you about......
Or
It seems you have a great deal going on, so let me quickly update you on what I've been up to.
If nothing works, nothing will change her, you then maybe need to decide how often, if at all, you feel able to put up with how she makes you feel.
I hope it works out well for you

I’ve been severely challenged recently over my propensity to talk about myself, interrupt, generally be self-absorbed. Living on my own doesn’t help, but I recently saw a neighbour slowly closing her door on me which gave me a jolt. I genuinely care about other people, but when there are silences I gabble on to fill them up. Having a word with myself about it.

That drives me mad as well Lucca just get on with the story !!

Lucca

Then there’s those who ramble on…” so last Tuesday.. no wait maybe it was wednesday because I usually go shopping on Monday but I went Wednesday…or was it Thursday…”. Who bloody cares ?!

I have a friend who does this but it’s part of what makes her so endearing. I love her company.

Then there’s those who ramble on…” so last Tuesday.. no wait maybe it was wednesday because I usually go shopping on Monday but I went Wednesday…or was it Thursday…”. Who bloody cares ?!

A couple of weeks ago I had a really restless night so the following day I was constantly apologising for yawning. Then one friend actually asked why I hadn't slept, was I ok, was I worried etc. It then occurred to me that everyone else had told me how badly they slept every night etc . She was the first to check if I was ok

You have to remember that, for a lot of people, they are probably more sensitive to being depressed and even suicidal due to what we've all been through over the last two years. Not all people have good coping mechanisms. That's why they say to talk to professionals rather than family or friends but, these days it's probably almost impossible to get appointments with a counsellor. I don't know the answer except to say, for the time being, try to be a bit more compassionate for now.

I get quite annoyed when someone has asked me a question and while I'm answering are obviously thinking about their next comment. So they are not really listening but waiting to burst out their thoughts, but usually an experience they have had which bears little resemblance to the original subject.

Yet another serial yacker story!

I thought it would be nice to get in touch with a friend from the 1970's when we were both newlyweds. She asked if I'd had children. I said yes we have a daughter, and was about to say and a son, when she talked over me. So she thought we just had a daughter. She went on to tell me all her gripes with her mother in law. After an hour of just listening I finally ended the call. I never rang her again. She had become so self obsessed.

I have a very dear friend who talks non stop when we meet. She tells me about relatives, neighbours the cat etc. This is because she lives alone and sees very few people. Lockdowns were especially hard for her. She always asks about me eventually after she has unloaded all her news and worries. My late father was the same. I wouldn’t like to spend as much time alone as she does.

Nonogran, DH & I know someone just like the person you describe. We have stopped seeing her completely; it was pointless. We could have been two cardboard photo cut-outs that she was "addressing", because quite truly we could never get a word in. Making the decision not to see her was a huge relief. Sadly, I understand (from others) that she is still just the same...

I often leave after meeting up with friends or family and think well I never finished that conversation!!!

Thank you.

So sorry to hear your relationship has broken down MissC and all the upheaval in your life. Hope your father settles well in his new home. Take heart this too will pass.

This type is attracted to me as I’m quiet. I mainly keep my thoughts to myself. There are loads of people who just talk about themselves. I don’t know why they do it or how on earth they can keep talking.

I'm sorry, MissChateline but it sounds as if your relationship is one-sided and not having support when you most need it from a partner must be hard.

I hope your Dad settles well in his new home.

MissChatlinesorry to hear your life is upturned, hope your dad settles in his new home, and that you get a happy ever after?

Callistemon21….. sadly not, she took herself off to our apartment on the island of la Palma gained Spanish residency and embedded herself into life there. I stayed in my lovely small town in West Yorkshire. I felt abandoned and that she was not by my side always as promised….relationships via WhatsApp etc are not sustainable despite the fact that we had done this for 11 years whilst she was worked internationally and based in Geneva. life carries on and we make the best of it. I’m in the process of settling my 90 year old dad in a care home in Norfolk and clearing out the house to sell. Even when my lifelong friend died a few years ago the FaceTime call was mainly about her visit to the hair salon and work in Geneva. After about 25 minutes she remembered my loss but it was an afterthought. For some people others are not a priority I guess.

I’m in the process of splitting up with my same sex partner/wife
Oh no, MissC

Can you meet in person and talk? Perhaps she was very anxious and you were the person she could offload to? Has she been ill?

Some people are terrible listeners.
At least my friend who does this is just a friend and not a partner.

I have one friend who never talks about her children or grandchildren. I only wish she would. She only talks about herself, at great unstoppable length.

I’m in the process of splitting up with my same sex partner/wife. COVID has caused unbelievable problems as we found ourselves separated in 2 different countries. Our relationship became FaceTime calls and WhatsApp. Early into the first round of lockdown calls I realised that the only topic of conversation she had was about her and it was often at least 20 minutes into a call that she remembered that I existed. I alway am mindful of who I’m talking to and even if I’m bogged down with personal family stuff I will always stop a conversation to ask how the other person is. “That’s enough about me….how are you” is a favourite of mine.

I was on a course once when the instructor said that a person attending wasn’t actually listening but ‘just waiting to talk’. Good way of putting it I thought

And actually, I am interested in other people's grandchildren if I've known them since birth and seen them from time to time as they grew up.
But this particular friend's grandchildren are super talented in every way and I don't know them.

I work in healthcare.
I live in a small community.
Everybody in the small community knows I work in healthcare.
And everybody wants to tell me about their health every time they clap eyes on me.
Why do they think I am interested when I am clearly NOT AT WORK!!!
Give me a break people!!