There's no harm in reporting this incident. My daughter works for the police and says that sometimes this kind of behaviour can be part of a pattern that could lead to something more serious.
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A police matter or not?
(71 Posts)DD works from home now in a converted bedroom at the front of the house. Recently she noticed a man in a house opposite but one row away watching her, then using binoculars to look. When he realised she’d seen him (she got up to close the curtains) he opened his bedroom window and peered down into the garden through his binoculars!!! Should she report him knowing that she’s no proof and he’ll deny it? He’s unlikely to try it again I’d have thought but likely to find another victim.
Because the police aren't busy enough.
Someone looked at someone else once and it upset them.
I would contact the police, get it recorded just in case your daughter has any further issues with him. She should also write down the times and dates of any further instances.
It isn’t a criminal matter at the moment but if it did become one she has already got some proof to expedite the issue.
Unfortunately he isn’t doing anything illegal if it is a one off but if it continues then it could be a form of harassment which could be acted upon by the police, I would actually put a camera up and record any incidents as evidence and if it continues keep a diary of any incidents and report to the police
Does your daughter live alone?
I take it she does not know this neighbour even to speak to.
If she is single, it is probably best to ignore this, unless it happens again, then report it to the police.
If she has a husband or a boyfriend surely he could lightly say to this man next time he sees him in the street., something like, "You know, your bird-watching through binoculars scared my wife, she thought you were casing out our house."
If the man is genuinely either trying out a new pair of binoculars or bird watching, I am sure he will apologise and explain what he was doing
If he is looking at your daughter, he has been made aware that she knows and doesn't like it.
Sometimes I feel we invent problems these days, because we don't know and perhaps don't want to know our neighbours.
Of course please call.
Your daughter is feeling uncomfortable in her own home, by his actions.
Police may or not do something. They may have received calls of others and he is already a person who has a red flag in this
This kind of behaviour is dangerous.
The minimization in this thread is really concerning
I often stand looking out of my front window, just day-dreaming. Is that ok?
Sometimes I wish I had binoculars so I can get a closer look at a bird in a tree beyond my neighbour’s house, but now I see my actions could be misinterpreted.
Yes your daughter can put up nets and blinds, but she should also report this to the police.
Jaffacake2
Many many decades ago when I was a young student nurse there was a young man exposing himself in the grounds of the nurses home. We all had a look and a giggle then thought we better phone the police. We all were interviewed by the policeman and gave some detailed descriptions that he laughed and said that the man should just knock on the door as we were obviously very interested !!!
Please don't think I am minimising the effects of being watched as both me and both my daughters have had some nasty experiences with perverts.
And that is one reason why it should be nentioned to the police or, at least, a community support officer.
Friend phoned very indignant that a neighbour had complained to her Housing Association that the cctv she’d had installed, also showed anyone walking up their path. She was told to remove it, which she refused as it showed her car, which couldn’t be seen from her house and had recently been vandalised. She was reported to the police and one turned up. He said it wasn’t exactly illegal, but if the neighbours were so very much against what it showed of their visitors, why didn’t they write to them saying Why they wanted a view of their car and that they were quite willing to have the cctv unit fitted on the neighbours house.
The only other position it could go to keep an eye on their car. Adding that of course, the neighbour would be expected to cover the refitting costs.
Months later I asked what happened and she giggled. Seems the neighbours hadn’t replied and the Housing Association said that for them, the incident had been sorted out.
The man has looked through binoculars.
Nobody knows if it was specifically at his neighbour.
next time it happens, if it does, tell her to photograph him. My smartphone can zoom in..or you can get an app that will! That will both stop him and give you evidence and makes you the accuser and not the victim.
Many many decades ago when I was a young student nurse there was a young man exposing himself in the grounds of the nurses home. We all had a look and a giggle then thought we better phone the police. We all were interviewed by the policeman and gave some detailed descriptions that he laughed and said that the man should just knock on the door as we were obviously very interested !!!
Please don't think I am minimising the effects of being watched as both me and both my daughters have had some nasty experiences with perverts.
I have had a camera installed since one of my neighbours had a break in.This will not deter people looking out of their windows which obviously is not an offence but peace of mind for yourself and evidence should any thing criminal take place in your location.
123gran
PS. She’s put up some old net curtains and ordered blinds so that should stop her issue but not some other ‘victim’s’. She likes a lot of light in the house so is peeved she has to do it though.
She can set up her laptop on a pile of coffee table books so her face can’t be seen and she still gets light. She could set up her desk not directly in front of the window. Blinds angled the right way still let in plenty of light. If she can report him for staring, he can report her for the same thing.
Keep a diary just so you have dates and times and if it happens again, you have evidence..
Just put up a blind.
Problem (if there is one) solved.
I personally would have a quiet word with the local police - most instances of males attacking women/girls start with low level things like flashing and peeping Tom behaviour and it needs to be nipped in the bud before they go onto other more serious behaviours.
You can get one way film for the window for day time privacy. It does not work at night as you have the light on and its dark outside. However you would be drawing the curtains than.
www.purlfrost.com/privacy-window-film/one-way-window-film/
I would contact the community police servie by eamil as if this man has turned up elsewhere they would be interested.
She could try to take a photograph every time she notices him watching - that would have dates and if it is a regular occurrence and she feels threatened, she should show the police.
and adding.. does this mean we should not look out of our windows? strange for me, I thought that was what they were for!
now binoculars.. no! I do not have any.
oops. since I have been on my own, I look out of my bedroom window a lot, just to see another human being.! and I assure everyone, I am not a voyeur... though I feel better when I do, occasionally, see someone pass by! not very often though
Just because he was looking her way doesn’t mean he was looking at her. Couldn’t have being looking at the wildlife. I had a neighbor who would stand at window I used to think he was watching me. But in fact he was watching for his wife to get off bus to come home. I put blinds up because it made me feel uncomfortable. His wife did say she told him not to but he was concerned for her safety.
More than one occasion when I am glad that a windowsill is in the right place ! I was sitting in a car outside my house, chatting to the friend that had given me a lift home, when I looked up at the house opposite to see the guy (that I actually fancied at the time) close his curtains - after switching the light on possibly after having had a bath - couldn't look him in the eye for some time after!!
Apart from that. maybe a watch should be kept on the guy to see if he makes a habit of it before taking police action?
Rather than blinds, you can get a film to put on the inside of windows that blocks views from outside but still allows you to see out and allow light in to the room.
Its very unnerving but hard to prove he was watching her. We were watching a lovely little Nuthatch at the bottom of the garden one morning and my husband fetched the binoculars and stood at the patio peering through them to get a closer view. We have a view of a neighbours bedroom window at the back and I was a bit worried they’d think we were spying on them, that’s me though, worrying about things like that.
If it continues I’d get a Venetian blind fitted.
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