Dp's unreasonable

Is he paying you well? as you sound like you are providing a service rather than being in a relationship with him
I don't even iron my husbands clothes let alone do his paperwork

So what does he do for you?
When you go over does he, for example, cook for you? When he comes to you does he do odd jobs, cut the grass, shop for you?
We would all be interested to hear exactly what he adds to your life, and his redeeming features.

No you are not over reacting at all. If I was in your shoes I would put a stop to the cleaning and ironing etc. You don’t live together, he is a grown man capable of doing his own chores. Does he offer to return the favour for you? I doubt that very much. He doesn’t have enough respect or interest in you to give you the chance to go out with the couple since ex not going. He’s acting deplorably. I would dump him and if he asks, “ Whyhaven’t you been in touch?” - tell him you finished it a while back. If he says, “ Why didnt you tell me?” - say, “Well, you never asked!” Touché!

Dump him. He's as emotionally evolved as a rock. You're being used, not valued or loved.

"I spend most weekends over at his I do his cleaning and ironing and help him with paperwork etc."

Why? ?

Why oh why are you his cleaner and secretary?

I’m afraid I didn’t get past the fact that you do his cleaning, ironing and paperwork.
He’s got it made, hasn’t he?

So he’s been married twice already? Then you go round and ‘do’ for him. Sorry, but he doesn’t sound much of a catch to me.

I did say that I thought it would be nice if they went together and the reason I gave was because I didn't want to be the the spare part so to speak they have so much history together.

Yes he does but usually at family get togethers, I don't have a problem with this. He's been married again since he was Divorced from her.

Have to agree with Grannycool this seems like a very one sided 'relationship '
Time to reconsider Doran

Doran, it seems from your post that you are being treated as an unpaid housekeeper and companion and not as a partner or girlfriend.
I can't see that you are getting anything worthwhile from this. Where is the love, consideration, genuine friendship or fun?
I think you should seriously consider leaving this "relationship" as soon as you can.

I assume that you feel put upon re the washing, ironing, etc or you would not have mentioned it.

What reason did you give for not going? I doubt you said that it was because of the ex, whatever the reason you gave maybe he thought it still stood.

People will treat you the way you let them and have no respect for you if you let them take advantage.

Time to have a long look at why you are together.

You need to stop going over and doing his washing ironing and paperwork etc. His ex should be exactly that he is not treating you as an equal partner. The priority seems to be living in the past the way things were. Either he needs to move on or you do.

you do ironing and cleaning???? can i rent you?

Launderess, blasted autocorrect again.

You do his cleaning and ironing and paperwork? Your relationship doesn't look ideal Doran

It’s nice that he has a cleaner, launderers and accountant free of charge at the weekends isn’t it? Plus the ‘etc.’

Due to Covid you haven’t been out with him, but he goes out with his mates.

Just what do you get out of this relationship? How far down in the pecking line are you?

Might be time for a rethink about this ‘relationship’

Hello
It's a bit weird to say the least
Does he often socialise with his ex-wife?
I think that you need to ask him why he didn't invite you. In fact you need to talk to him full stop