Friendship not relationship offer

Lucyloo12 in the nicest possible way, I think it's time for the 'big girl pants' he needs to be told you are NOT interested and also your friendship now has to end due to him being so persistent. You are not his wife-substitute if this is not what 'you' want, also I would not help him find clubs/online dating/etc he has to stand on his own two feet and meet someone, if that's what he wants. His death threat is just to lure you, again, don't listen.

You have to put yourself first and do what 'you' want. He's not thinking about you, he's only thinking of himself so it's time to cut 'all' ties, not more walking or meeting for coffee or whatever you did previously. Don't be available any time and definitely don't apologise or offer an explanation...this would only feed his need to know where you are every minute of the day. Sorry, it's time to get tough.

Normally I would not be so blunt (I treat people as I like to be treated myself) but this man hasn't taken 'no' for an answer and still continues badgering you...that's not being fair to you and causing you distress.

He has told you who he is...please listen! Hope you have a great weekend

....but you have an old gadgie radar if needs be !

Actually a Geordie term Grandmafrench. Not that I am a Geordie but...

And how much do I love Gransnet for the wonderful (and hilarious) new words I learn every day......Old Gadgie? ?

I agree with everyone here. Problem is often that we feel the need to explain and make someone feel better when really it won't work and it's better to Just Stop! If you've only had walks and he is pushing and pushing for more involvement, you've made your decision, so tell him clearly it's not working for you. Please don't give him the choice to agree to a different friendship now - he's ruined it and I doubt you can trust him. He's going to keep going on but he's not your responsibility and you don't need to hang around letting it get any more complicated.
Send him a polite but very firm and unemotional note, if you feel he's going to be hard work or won't listen. Then stop worrying about it.

Steer well clear of him. He's interested in himself, not you. This is not a time to pussyfoot around, make it very clear you will not be coerced by his threats. If he still feels he has to die, that's unfortunate but his choice.

Luckyloo, you need to be firm the friendship is going no further, widowed men are very often looking for a new partner fairly quickly. It’s actually quite difficult to have a platonic relationship, all you can do is have lots of different friends.

Lucyloo12, I agree with those who say blunt is the way to go.

I think you need to extricate yourself from this as soon as you can.

Make sure he knows that you want no more contact and block his phone number.

I once said to someone in a similar position, 'I am not your unpaid carer and companion.' Initially he was shocked, but I think it hit home. That was exactly what he wanted. Someone to do the wife work for him.

I didn't do wife work when I WAS a wife. I certainly wouldn't do it for an old gadgie!

People like this, rather obsessional, do not understand tactful, you need to be blunt so it is clear, then I would say goodbye, in a public place, not on your own. Good luck.

I had a friend years ago we went to school grew up same area. We were just friends until I was getting a divorce. He made a pass at me it really upset me as I never looked at him in that way. I made it quite clear I was not interested. Basically we drifted as friends he called around less and I was not available. This guy you made friends with would give me the creeps.

This friendship is already ruined.

I agree with those who say walk away
It sounds rather creepy to me, I think you need to end your friendship now.

Walk away. You are not responsible for this persons happiness. And he is not entitled to blackmail you or anyone else into a relationshop you do not want.

You can only reinforce what you have said, you do not want any more than a friendship and if he cannot just be a friend it would be best not to see each other again. Make sure you are clear and do not give him any false hope. Text if it is easier, it is sometimes clearer if seen written.

He does sound a bit dramatic saying he may as well die but dont let that affect you, he will not die.

Galaxy

Run. Quite fast.

Agree.

He sounds sad and lonely, but also selfish, as he takes no account of what you want. It sounds as if you have been very clear that you don’t want a relationship other than friendship with him. Maybe it’s time to reduce that to a minimum, and if he persists, stop seeing him altogether.

Run. Quite fast.

You've had good advice here. I would tell him the friendship is over. I wouldn't get into giving reasons as he will continue to emotionally blackmail you. He's being unpleasant about his late wife and not taking no for an answer. In addition he's trying to pass responsibility for his behaviour to you. You cannot let someone like this down gently. He will never stop.

......"When you say * that is emotional blackmail. I will not be emotionally blackmailed! I view you as a friend and I enjoy our walks. However I will never want anything more than friendship. If you can accept that, we can continue to be friends. If you cannot cope with just friendship then our friendship will have to end as I will never want more than friendship. What do you want to do?"

If he carries on without acceptance then say

"It is clear that you cannot accept what I am telling you. Therefore I am going to end our friendship!"

And do exactly that!

Don't fall for emotional blackmail. Either he accepts your friendship for what it is or you back away completely.

Ooooh no. This doesn't sound good, especially when comparisons come into the conversation. This man has no respect for you whatsoever and is only thinking about himself.
Give him the big E !

I would cut contact ASAP, let him down lightly if you can, but for your own sake get away. He sounds very needy and controlling.

I would steer clear of anyone using emotional blackmail. Tell him he can have you as a friend or not at all.

I think the same as grannylyn65, if he cannot take no for an answer and wants more than you are prepared to engage in then just tell him you are not available for walks and reduce contact time.