Keeping in touch with teenage boyfriend

Some years ago I was on holiday with my (then) husband on the Isle of Wight. I noticed a guy on the other side of the road and immediately recognised him as a boyfriend from over 25 years ago. I went over and spoke to him, and he said ‘Hello, (my name), haven’t seen you for ages’. It turned out he and his wife had a hotel over there, and after that we visited on several occasions, and from there on made contact with other friends. Even now, even though I am divorced, I visit him and his wife, both now retired, at least once a year. We are great mates.

I saw a boyfriend from my teenage years on "The Yorkshire Vet" tv programme! A farmer like his father, he didn't look too bad, but a lot less hair!

When I was a bit menopausally deranged I found the address of an old boyfriend and wrote to him. Eventually I had a letter back telling me that if I contacted him again he'd take legal action against me. All I'd done was ask how he was! I put him in a book.

I have stayed good friends with a couple of exes though - spoke at the funeral of one of them 18 months ago. He was my best mate.

The nasty ex had a great friend who I also had contact with. We met up and still see each other. It's fine. Enjoy the reminiscence, Molly. We need all the fun we can get at this time of life.

Got back in contact recently with only boyfriend who I loved when I was 18. I’d lost his details and only stumbled across him through a common interest. I only felt we were too young to commit so we parted ways and he was devastated with my decision. Still think it was right decision but I’ve felt awful about it ever since. I’m aware being in touch is a situation fraught with danger but I liked him as well as loved and he was always a very decent guy. My husband knows all about it - he would probably prefer we had no contact but he also knows I always wished we’d parted less traumatically and it has bothered me for over thirty years. Our contact is very limited and will continue to be. He lives in another country as well which creates a natural barrier to over much contact. He’s worn a lot better than me though so I’m happy never to meet up! ? But it’s laid some of my ghosts of guilt to rest and that’s been good for me emotionally. He’s been married for a long time and seems happy which I’m very glad about. Only you can know if being in touch is pushing the wrong buttons for your current relationship. If it is, best to distance yourself before any more damage is done.

Whitewavemark2

Out of the blue a letter came from a man that I had been engaged to over 50 years ago, asking me to reply etc.

I ignored it.

Goodness, how could you ignore it? Have you NO curiosity? Perhaps the poor guy was terminally ill and just wanted to say goodbye or something!

I went on a few dates with an ex I hadn’t seen for over 40 years when we accidentally bumped into each other (i was going through a divorce)
I had thought I was so in love with him all those years ago
But on these dates I kept thinking what did I ever see in you so we drifted off purposely on my part never to be seen again I finally took the teenage rose tinted specs off

No, though I sometimes think about serious boyfriend number 1. (I realise now, that he was gay - which explains why we split up.) However I've been happily married to Mr 1968 (serious boyfriend number 3 and most definitely a keeper) for over 35 years, so, "je ne regrette rien"!

For goodness sake- Mollys not done anything other than a 21st century version of a 'pen-pal' !!! Stop moralising.?

If you are single and like this man, then whether others have kept in touch with previous boyfriends hardly matters, does it?

DH didn't exactly keep in touch with his ex, but he did sometimes meet her in the street, as we lived in the same part of town.

Now that we have moved away, we no longer meet her, which suits me.

I have never been in touch with any previous boyfriend, and if one contacted me now, I imagine, I would ask what on earth he wanted, as it is now upward of forty years since we last talked. I would also point out that I am married.

I would not agree to meet anyone I formerly had been romantically involved with, but if an old school- college- friend appeared out of the blue that would be different.

I would not hesitate to invite a former friend or colleague for a coffee (after lockdown has lifted, of course).

Thats what facebook was invented for originally- for old friends to keep in touch-(prob why friends reunited went under!) But now they just use it for loads of cr*p for youngsters/housewives/buying/selling stuff! -(i know this as my eldest is a keen fb fan) so i refuse to have it as its full of twaddle.?

No ......although I have to admit to sometimes looking them up just to see what happened to them in their life .....is quite interesting ! but I would never get in touch with any of them ...even though my husband has died and I am on my own, I have no wish to ! Sometimes, like most people, I hear an old 60's song and remember who I was going out with at the time !

Nannan2 It really wasn’t! It was invented for in-university socialising - initially as a way to rate the attractiveness of female students.

Ashcombe

17 years ago, I was contacted through Friends Reunited by someone I knew at school but had never dated. He is older than me and was friends with the brother of my best friend so we were acquainted with each other in the sixties.

To cut a long story short, and to quote Charlotte Brontë, “Reader, I married him.”

And a very lucky ex-widower I am! But I didn't approach you all those years ago with declarations of unrequited love, merely apologised for my stunning faux-pas the last time we had met, in the '70s. The friendship, that eventually grew into love after I lost Deb, was a pleasure in itself.

The OP is having a lovely but virtual fling. We all hope it doesn't end in tears.

Harmless unless he talks in his sleep{grin}

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

If it works for you just do it, I am curious to know if he has asked to meet up.
It is not something I would do and I have not thought back to any boyfriends I have had. To me any past relationship is just that left in the past where it belongs.
Enjoy yourself whatever it brings you.

no. I married my first boyfriend and he died nearly 10 years ago

I email the boy who at 15 I considered the love of my life....it’s easy to be back there in my mind but as someone else pointed out that often indicates a problem or dissatisfaction in the present. That relationship was a lifetime ago, we’ve led different lives and I’m sure we are very different people. I keep things in perspective and it’s nice to indulge in looking back occasionally - I think everyone must do this sometimes as they are happy memories.

I am in touch with my ex-fiancee, albeit very sporadically especially at the moment. We reconnected through Friends Reunited as well. He lives a few hundred miles away from me, has loads of women friends on Facebook. He's married, I'm widowed but we are still friends - it wasn't a bad break-up so why not? MollyAA12 - don't worry.

I just wouldn’t be happy if my husband was reunited with an old girlfriend and sending them songs but if all single enjoy

I am still in (fairly regular) contact with an ex from about 10yrs ago.
At the time he was separated from his wife and I was 15yrs divorced. But the wife came back on the scene and I took a step back to give them chance to get back together. I loved him but didn't want to be embroiled in anything she could try to blame me for, so I moved on.
They've since divorced and he's with someone else.
We send 'funnies' we've received from others that we think the other would appreciate, ask after each other's health, kids and his granddaughter, etc.
Our current partners are aware of our history and that we do still have this contact and they're fine about it. We've not seen each other for a few years but if one of us were to be in the other's home town (only about 25 miles away) at any time and both had a little free time, we would (post lockdown) meet for a friendly half hour coffee and chat and we would definitely tell our partners that we were doing so. It's only when you try to keep secrets that things can go bad.

Not a boy friend but a very good male friend we worked together for years and we still keep in touch or catch up, every now and then, I value our friendship, we dont live in the same country and never meet, but it is nice to have such a good friend.I have a female friend rather the same, we keep in touch after working together for many years,it doesnt matter if it is male or female I think its lovely to have their friendship still.

Oh Molly, Don’t let the sun catch you crying is one of my all time favourite songs, just love it. No have never been in touch with old boyfriends, enjoy reminiscing together.

I very much regret not staying in touch with my boyfriend of over 16 years. I married, he has never married. He is not on Facebook, although I know where he is living and his email address. I have contacted him to let him know when someone we knew has died but he has never replied. I still care about him, even though it is more than 33 years since I have seen him.

A few years after my marriage broke up I thought “I wonder what happened to X?” I went on the internet and found him, and some time later we met up (he was a widower) and a couple of years after that we married! We still can’t believe how lucky we were....