A question of etiquette perhaps?

(In this fantasy I’m a great cook and can cook a bird without being my usual combo of dry and flavourless)

My friends and extended family (cousins etc) always bring a gift.

Our children although they have their own homes, we do not consider to be guests , this is their family home and unless a special occasion, no gifts required or wanted other than love?

Back in those happy days when we could eat in each others houses, yes, a little offering would often be taken. Or I would phone and say "Can I bring dessert?". Or they would bring wine or something. Not always, but usually.
And of course, when the grandchildren were young, always something for them... sweets, a toy, whatever.

I remember the exact occasion when I was taught that bit of etiquette by my father!

PS I was seventeen!

I would not expect my children to bring anything. I am just so happy they want to come. After all if they need it it is still their home. I love being taken for granted.

At Christmas we divvy up the food. One does entree ( usually seafood ), I do the turkey and ham and hot veggies,another one does salads and another does dessert. At Easter only a couple of them are coming over and I’m doing it all because I invited them. We are having slow cooker food and then just frozen desserts so it will be easy.

I do not think this is a question of etiquette, it is merely a question of family tradition,and circumstances.

Until this thread, it wasn't something I had ever thought of. My family have our traditions, which work round not seeing each other often, because of the distance, a grand family tradition of passing stuff round, from furniture to clothes, to food, to being inveterate charity shop, junk shop and car boot obsessives who are always snapping up things thast other people would be glad of. So most family visitors arrive loaded with bags of stuff.

I think it is family habits and traditions that control this behaviour in the family, not etiquette.

My family always ask what they should bring,but the answer is always the same just yourselves.

NO ONE should be 'coming for easter sunday lunch', AT ALL so in regards to that, any of you who are planning to do so, are insane? We still are in a pandemic, still in lockdown, (i guess a couple of exceptions could be those in the so-called 'bubbles' already- but personally i think its all this 'bubbling' tripe that's continued to spread covid- and vaccine or not, why can't you all listen to the rules and just stay home, at least for now? It seems like everything has become a huge excuse for a 'get-together' recently, just so they can mingle- 'oh its christmas'- or 'oh its easter'- or 'oh its a bank holiday', aren't big reasons to 'cheat the rules/laws in a pandemic?- they're just excuses.Have some sense.(and in 'normal' times, yes bringing something, or offering to is just good etiquette- but not for pandemic times! Jeez! ??

I think the OP did make it clear that this was 'just pretend'.
You are absolutely right, of course, I am sure most of us agree and will comply with the common sense rules.

I know you think I'm being harsh, but its the reality- we can't just 'pretend' that theres no covid, because there is!

With family we supply everything. The same when asked back. A bit different with friends as they usually turn up with wine or a.n.other

We're on our way to our daughter's for a garden get-together. Taking salad and fruit, as requested, plus cup-a-soups!
She always brings us something nice when they visit us.
My Dad comes to us every Sunday and I've trained him to bring a bottle of wine! ?
He wants to contribute but didn't know how, so this makes him feel better.

Mine always ask if they can bring anything, if not will bring wine or chocs, other visitors usually wine, as we would going elsewhere.

I agree with M0nica

"I do not think this is a question of etiquette, it is merely a question of family tradition,and circumstances."

I have been thinking after I got married in the late 60s I never thought to take anything either to my parents or in-laws when we were invited and I never received anything when it was my turn.
However, when my children come, as I do not have alcohol in the home, (I am not a recovering alcoholic but want to be on the safe side, the same with chocolate) I do ask them to bring their poison to share.
If it is a big family meal at their place, the sisters ask if it would help to bring something.

Our two sons and their wives always bring wine, sometimes flowers and one DIL often brings something she’s baked. Not expected but very much appreciated.

If we go to my son and daughter-in-law ‘s for a family gathering,
her family consists of three unmarried brothers and her sister’s family (sadly both her parents deceased) I always offer to bring dessert for us all.
The offer is usually accepted I do it to help out with the cooking one less course to worry about.
I don’t expect any family to bring anything when we have visitors although my sister in law always offers and two of my sister-in-law’s always turn up with wine .

My family don't bring anything but they are ready to move furniture, do the odd bit of painting or cut my grass. That is far more appreciated in return for the lunch I cook.
Tomorrow I will go to theirs with Easter eggs for the kids, and the parents are getting a wedding anniversary present I've bought.

No I do not take anything or expect my family to bring anything, though if they offer I might say Yes, please could you bring a desert and whatever you want to drink. We have such a small kitchen that it is easier to do it myself, then I can plan fridge space, containers, heating etc.
When I was young and visiting parents we never took anything except ourselves and all the paraphernalia needed for the children. That was enough to cope with.

I suppose it depends how they do it. My mum (a classic attention seeker) would sometimes come to a meal at mine with my sister who had been prevailed upon to “make a flan”. It then became almost the sole topic of conversation for the entire meal. She would then bask in the admiration of this flan she hadn’t made as we all reverently eat it.
I would quietly seethe about the hours in the kitchen with all the clearing up still to do while eating the this flan, the deserts I’d made left congealing on the side.
I’m now realising this made me resent my sister who was as much a victim of this as me. We have really repaired our relationship during lockdown.

Lemsip no the kids are all ours apart from my niece and she claims shes ours ?. Christmas and Easter are almost always had here at our house, has been this way for about 20 years bar I think 3 or 4 occasions. I said my husband does the dinners because basically he does all of the cooking, I chop and assemble salads. We also have numerous birthday celebrations here as well. And no its not an issue really it was just a thought that popped into my head when i invited my niece and she asked what she could bring.

Nannan2 my question was not are you having a celebration for easter, my question was what would be done in your family if you were. I do realise that most of you are under strict covid restrictions and I most certainly am not advocating breaking these.
I am fortunate to live in Australia where there are no restrictions at the moment. I did not mention this fact as it was really not pertinent to my question.

nannan2. Jeez back atcha. It was a nice thread and the OP specified pretending no Covid. You spoiled a nice interesting thread with your negativity. We’re allowed to remember better times and look forward to better times.