Daughter

Spot on Hithere I agree entirely but I can also understand how hard that will be for the OP. If it was just her daughter involved I would have no qualms but there are four children to consider.
I think you should talk to your daughter Gingster and tell her you cannot continue to subsidise her like this. Start by reducing the amount of money you give her and agree a date when you will withdraw most of your financial support. It's not easy but you need to be careful of your own finances as well.

You know she won't get it back - apologies for autocorrect.

Stop enabling her.

Stop paying for her rent.

Stop giving her money. You know y pi u won't get it back.

She wont adult because you are here to rescue her from her bad decisions.

Hello what a lovely caring mother you sound. I have read your post and know that at the bottom of this you are paying her rent because she has your four grand-children and you do not want her to be homeless.
I know there is so much more to this but the main thing you are doing is handing over your money and really I think you know it will not be repaid and that is not easy on your part.
I offer you some sympathy as my daughter is also irresponsible and she has 3 children. My support to her is buying food shopping as she is always saying she has run out of money although I know she is probably getting more money than I get.
As from last weekend I have made up my mind to make myself less available and to say I am short of money when I get asked to buy her shopping and let her fend for herself.
I have done the shopping for ages and now she expects it from me so this will be hard but I can no longer keep doing it so I would suggest the same to you tell her you can no longer pay out money to her and let her stand on her own two feet. As mothers we cannot be there forever for them and sometimes they need a wake up call. Good Luck.

I have 3 children, who luckily, at this stage in their working life, do not need my help. When they had just started working, I probably had the odd call or two, for a bit of help, but they always paid it back. I am divorced, but strangely enough, they always turned to me and not to their more well-off father. I was pleased that they could rely me (or take me for a mug ?)
I'm sure I'll be told off for saying this........our money will be going to our children anyway, and so, why not help them out while we're living and when they need it. Surely, you don't want to see your daughter homeless.
Whatever you decide, I hope things improve for your daughter. Good luck !!!

We all try and help our kids out when we can, I loan my kids money only when they are really desperate or it becomes a habit. but I always make them pay me it back by paying back so much a month straight into my bank account. I keep a notebook woth money lent and payed back. I rather they come to me than pay interest at the bank.
You need to make arrangements with your daughter for her to start paying it back to you. Be firm and tell her you wont lend her anymore until she pays back what she owes.

One of my kids emailed me telling me she was having money difficulties and would I lend her some money, so I told her to bring all her bills etc round and I will help her go through it all and see how I could help. She regused to come round so I refusec to lend her any money. Which makes me ask, are you sure she owes rent have you seen her rent book?