Husbands friends.

I could ask her as you say SueDonim but my husband wouldn’t back me up. He would be upset with me for doing that when his friends were entertaining us in their home. He always puts them first. ?

Just ask her, preferably in front of everyone, ‘Did you mean to be so rude?’ That leaves the diet/size issue out of it and focuses on her behaviour. And get your dh to back you up!

Trendynannie6 you have a good man there!

Yes, I think she is a bully but the men don’t see it. She’s charming towards them of course!

I still don’t understand why you would want to spend anytime at all with her let alone spend time practicing what to say to her. I’d rather stay home with a good bottle of wine and watch some paint dry.?

I would say. Really! Really! Oh I don’t think so lovey I love my curves. And then I would burst out laughing, it’s obvious to me she’s jealous of you, I think your husband should have an answer though, mine wouldn’t have kept quiet friend or no friend

It shouldn't matter to her what you look like, she's a grown woman who needs to mind her manners for goodness sake.
She's being a bitch because she can get away with it, so next time practice a few things to say before you go and remember ... 'nobody puts baby in the corner'

Ha ha Opal YES!
TerriBull - confrontation is what she needs. ?

Ask her outright why, in her opinion, she thinks you should diet or fast. Also ask her if she makes a habit of asking personal and impertinent questions, or is there some reason why she has singled you out. Then tell her, unless you actively intend to seek her advice on diet as clearly she is some self appointed expert on the matter, perhaps she'd like to keep her misplaced thoughts and opinionsto herself. Warn your husband beforehand that because she makes you feel uncomfortable you are likely to retaliate in kind.

Good luck.

I suggest you tell your husband to grow a pair, and ask her if she has to practise at being a bitch, or does it just come naturally (whilst smiling sweetly.....)

Thank you for the support everyone. Oldwoman70 - your last remark did make me laugh.
Bluebirdwsm - I agree with you. My husband not being supportive does worry me more but then he can be rather liver lillied and doesn’t like to shake the boat which isn’t much good I have to say.

Try to have a comeback ready for the next time she says anything - a few I have found effective

I may be fat but I am also smart, kind and wouldn't dream of insulting someone
I'm perfect just the way I am
Well, someone doesn't get hugged enough
Careful - I ate the last person who said that

Your husband not being supportive would worry me more than a shallow judgmental person who you do not have to see often.

You could say "Oh no, my man would go mad if I lost weight; he absolutely loves something to get hold of, if you know what I mean..." wink wink.

Then sit back and smile to yourself.

How dare your husband not support you over this. Just don’t go next time and make sure he knows why. Life’s too short to try and navigate or tiptoe round this

You think she is too skinny and looks like a boy and she thinks you need to lose a few, she's just the only one saying it so call it even and say you are happy as you are lol

" I am happy the way I am so no I have not tried fasting and don't intend to!" Said with a gentle smile looking directly at her. If she persists say "I have explained my position, no need to discuss it further !"

I do think you need to point out to your husband that her remarks make you feel uncomfortable, that you are not willing to tolerate them and you would appreciate /expect his support to stop it happening!

Say in a loud enough voice to stop the conversation” why do you feel the need to make such unpleasant remarks. Have you tried not being rude” She’s asked you if you’ve tried dieting !

Bloody woman!
Just tell her you're perfectly happy to be woman-shaped rather than scrawny.

I'd also be having a stern word with your hubby - it's your corner he should be in, not hers. Where's his words of support when she's making the comments ?

Call her out on it the next time it happens in front of others. You can do it very nicely, of course, but she needs embarrassing to be honest. She, in her mind, has found an easy target in you and the more she gets away with it the more she will carry on doing it. She's a bully.