I think I have offended her

I have a problem with facial recognition especially when meeting people out of context. DH will say something like "she is one of your specialist nurses" but she will not have had her uniform on so didn't recognise her.
DH has been known to drop me in it with old workmates and not mention their names so I am left floundering.

She may have been frantically thinking 'WHERE do I know her from??' and didn't want you to know she had forgotten, or she may have had something on her mind that was upsetting or worrying her. If she was friendly at the original meeting, then please don't torment yourself by feeling it was your fault - logically, how can it be?

You are assuming too much, hang on in there until your next meeting and try to sum up the situation. She migght be one of those moody people though!!!

I think you are maybe taking this lady's reaction too much to heart. She may hate supermarket shopping, had a lot on her mind, adding up items, trying to find something to eat - sometimes I feel like screaming while I'm going round Sainsburys.........it's all such a rush and can't find what you want.

Making new friendships can take time - try not to see more in it.

Jut remain happy and friendly.

I once said hello to a woman as I passed her in the street but couldn't for the life of me remember how I knew her.
She responded with a smile and a hello back.
I realised later that she had just served me in Boots and was probably going for her lunch.

It's quite possible that as she had only met you once before and with a group of other women that she did,nt really know what else to say. She may be a shy person herself and can hold a conversion when there is a group of others to contribute but a one to with someone she barely knows could be a different matter. At this stage you have not really much in common with each other except the meal you went to. She did say hello, so I would,nt worry about it. Not everyone gels with everyone else at first meetings and some friendships take longer than others to develop. Maybe if you were to bump into her again in the same way before the next month's meeting you could suggest having a coffee together in the supermarket coffee shop to break the ice a bit more.

I did this at a supermarket too, I had sold my beloved Motorhome to a lady. A few weeks later I saw this lady staring at me, I happily smiled and waved, said hi. It was hours after I placed her and was dreadfully upset because it really would have looked like I had dismissed her. ... I do hope I see her again soon.

I often see people out of context and can't think where i know them from. In that case I'll smile, say hi and move on. I bumped into a woman in Tesco recently and stopped to speak. She looked blank and I said "pilates". She apologised at not remembering how she knew me. It happens to us all.

I was greeted by a woman on horseback who called out to me and we chatted for a good few minutes. I responded to her enquiries after my family and enquired about hers in turn. Had no idea then who she was then and I have no idea now. I still wonder!

Cutting you dead really means not even saying hello, don't make a fuss and definitely don't mention this to other members of the group.

eebeew Poor you!! I am with just about everyone here. I am sure there is an innocent explanation. Please do not torture yourself with worry about why this happened. It is so easy to worry about what we may have done when there is no reason at all to feel that way, especially when you have only just moved to a new area and are trying to make friends.

Listen to the comments here and understand that there may any of 100s of reasons why the lady did not acknowledge you, none of which reflect upon you.

Until I studied a Psychology degree in my 40s, I did not realise that face recognition varied from one person to another. I have always been ashamed of and kept quiet about my poor face recognition. It's called 'Prosopagnosia' and is typified at its worst in Sach's book "The Man Who Mistook His Wife For a Hat"! It was always a terrible thing for me because people usually say, proudly, "I never forget a face." Now, I ask people to say hello and remind me whether are. You see, some of us do find it hard to place people, not with any deliberate intent, indeed, it is a kind of face-dyslexia. It terrifies me when I can't place a face of someone I am aware know but that I don't remember any more. I would never deliberately hurt anyone. There is the possibility she recognised you in terms of feeling she knew you, but had the inward panic, with which I am familiar, of having no memory of from whence she knew you. Sadly too, she may have an early onset of dementia, where face recognition remains but knowing who the person actually is goes, along with remembering names (another thing I am plagued by) and she panicked. Because of my deficits I feel for her and for you.

I do hope you meet again. I would treat her as if you both had been in such a hurry that day and say something like "So sorry I couldn't stop to chat in the supermarket, I hope you didn't mind." then see how she responds to you.

Wishing you lots of happiness in your new home. I think moving gives such a boost to your life. ?

Before I had glasses prescribed all the staff where I worked thought I was permanently angry and hesitated to approach me! In fact I was squinting to see who was coming towards me and this apparently made me look cross! Now that I have glasses I am perceived to be much friendlier....it is easy for misunderstandings to arise!

blue60 wisest words;

trynot to see more in it.

I said "remind me whether they are"?? Should be who of course!! Sorry!

At the Wake in our village pub after Paw’s funeral there were some people I had not seen for many years (and did not immediately recognise) and some I did not even know. However, I pinned a smile on my face and if really unsure asked when they had last seen him or something similar.
One couple I approached looked blank and said they had only come in for a drink.
Now, if you were sitting in a pub and 80+ people came in mostly wearing black, would you not sup up and make a sharp exit? (They continued to sit there too!)

I've just been very friendly to a man I saw in the church hall. I rushed up all smiles and asked what are you doing here I didn't expect to see you here.Thought it was my cousin but a lookalike!

Carry on as normal. You are lucky she recognised you after only one occasion. She may well not have had time to pass the time of day but did say hello. Stick with the positive.

Don't worry about it. I moved to a new town and found it quite difficult to make new friends as various societies I joined seemed cliquish and unfriendly. Through joining U3A I have met some great women, but it takes time for them to get to know you; you can't push it. If you are a good person then others will recognise this.

If you can’t think of what you’ve said to upset her you probably haven’t. She may have been in a rush. I wouldn’t confront her at all or this could cause offence. Just go and enjoy your next meeting, sometimes it takes a littlewhile to break into a group, but little by little and you’ll get there in the end.

Yes, she said hello. What more do you want.
She hardly knows you, so give her more time.
She might have been in a hurry.

After having a bonhomie, how are you, long time no see, catch up with you next time conversation with a chap in the High Street, my Dad , in answer to the question "who was that?' told me he thought it was a fella he knew from the municipal golf club. That night A Man For All Seasons was showing on the TV, and there he was, the fella from the golf club, Paul Schofield.....ever downbeat my Dad simply said "I knew I knew him from somewhere"

I suggest you stop looking for offence when none was intended. Good luck with meeting new people and making friends.

I bet she knew she knew you, but not where from. I find it so embarrassing when that happens me

Dorcas I did that too a lady stopped to say hello in the street she asked how I was keeping I reiterated then she asked how my mum was we talked for about 5 mins to this day I have not a clue who she was
The very worst one was a lady saying hello to me and I said hello back and she said you don’t regicnise me do you and I said I m so sorry I don’t she said it’s Txxxx I said I m so sorry but that means nothing to me she then to,d me I was her next door neighbour about twenty years ago I still can only vaguely recall her but would never have known her in a million years