OH objects to my smartphone

Since childhood I have been and still am sometimes, accused of having my head in a book. I suppose it can be seen by others as me preferring that to talking to them - true if the conversation is about the goings on of someone elseor other criticisms. Bring back card games, chess, etc!

Does he expect you to gaze lovestruck upon him as he melds with the sofa and the remote control?

Perhaps heat his slippers up or refill his pipe?

He’s basically watching the TV in silence, what the hell does it matter what you are doing as long as you aren’t disturbing him??

I can’t get my head round this one...

Perhaps you should ask him a continual flood of inconsequential and annoying questions about every detail of whatever he is watching for the next few weeks. He will soon be happy for you to go back to your phone ?

If he is watching a film why is he focussing on what you are doing?
Obviously not very engrossed in his film.
I think it's a bit of green eyed monster, he thinks you are chatting to another fella , or could be .
If this was happening to me I would be milking it and say to him "ok while you go to war I'm going to chat to my lovers " .
Is he of the jealous type ? Is he normally controlling? These are the personality traits his behaviour is showing.
I'd suggest staying exactly where you are and not go in another room , the problem is his not yours , let him deal with it .

As he was watching TV, I don't see why he objected.

I could understand if he was trying to talk to you.

Perhaps you could try using it in another room sometimes.
I know you shouldn't have to do so but, if it avoids conflict, going out of the room for 5 minutes or so won't perhaps be a hardship.

I try and avoid using my smartphone if I am with people but it isn't always easy.

What century are we in here? Smart phones but with men telling women how to behave...
honestly, tell him to grow up. We have the vote!
Like bluebelle advantages in being single.

So he has now walked in and told me that the dishwasher has been emptied and refilled and is now on. Plus he has tidied the kitchen too. Things I do most days without needing to inform him. What is it with men? Grrr!

From the time we get up in the morning the TV is usually if my DH is in the house. We both have smart phones and use them a lot when we are sitting relaxing. I have no real interest in TV but he seems to need the background noise. While catching up with GN there was a film we have seen recently on but DH was to engrossed in the game on his phone to notice. I mentioned it and after flicking through some channels he actually turned it off . He has just emptied the dishwasher. :D At 10pm Monday to Friday Scott and Bailey is being televised here and I do enjoy it. But woe betide me if I have my phone in my hand while it is on. I get from him "I thought you wanted to watch this?" If I said that there would be WW3....

We both spend far too much time on our devices, phones and iPads, usually with the Tv on as well, so neither of us can complain. DH watches endless TV, much of which I can take or leave.he starts with 3 or 4 antiques programmes, then reruns of Lewis, Morse, Vera, ending the The Bill at gone midnight when I have gone to bed.

I do also get fed up with the amount he texts his daughter though. I find that intrusive, as if there is another person in the room. Maybe that is what the OP’s husband does not like?
OP your husband has no grounds to complain really.

Another child-man - honestly! How do they get to mature years and still behave like three year olds?!!!

It's not the mobile phones people dislike (or even 'hate'); it's the behaviour of some mobile phone owners.

Thanks for the update, SandraF. In that case your OH was being as unreasonable as many of us supposed.

I know what you mean - I am quite happy to watch TV alone but as it's not my house, I can't really do that here. As I said, it's a rare treat to turn the TV on here, so I think that's why I get cross. Watching TV with someone else is different to watching alone - it's a 'shared experience' which you can discusss afterwards. I can't justify it at all but I know it has happened 2 or 3 times - I can watch TV on my iPad in my room if I want to watch alone. I hate the mobile anyway - she ignores DGS to look at it too ?

I sometimes just say 'oh, you're not watching it after all, I'll go to bed'

beau But if you’re sitting watching TV you're not interacting with your DD or paying her any attention, so what does it matter if she’s looking at her phone? Maybe she thinks the programme is boring (as most of them are) and she’s just sitting there to keep you company?

I don't have a partner but I do have a hated of mobile phones. I must admit if my daughter ever asks if I want to watch a TV programme with her, (which is rare as we can go weeks without turning on the TV - her husband hates it), I do get annoyed if she then looks at her phone constantly during the programme. I sometimes just say 'oh, you're not watching it after all, I'll go to bed'. It's hard to explain just how rude I find it, looking at any device when you are in company. So I don't know what to say to the OP - maybe her OH feels as I do?

I was not speaking into the phone, just reading messages and answering texts.

Put your mobile down, get up and switch off his film, sit opposite him and say, 'Now what we talk about, honey!' See how long it takes for him to ask for the tv to come back on. Repeat, repeat, every time he complains about the mobile.

I also like to use my phone as a location device, I am my family keep their location sharing on, then if something happens to any of us, the others can trace roughly where they are or were.

I use my phone as an alarm clock, a newspaper, a kitchen timer, a clock (don't wear a watch), a machine for sending messages, a calculator, a camera, a notepad, for playing Scrabble, a knot in my handkerchief (so to speak), as a Satnav, as a map, etc, etc. Haven't started using it as a bank card yet but I could if I wanted to.

Occasionally—very occasionally, probably fewer than ten times a year—I use it as a phone.

Mobile phones are mini computers and very useful, compact little gadgets.

Very good points made by Starbird!

The only way I feel closer to visiting family/friends when they're using phones/tablets is when they want to share something they've seen with me.

I wouldn't be without WhatsApp and Messenger though, they keep me in touch with our AC but I sometimes forget that DH (a technophobe who only has an old Nokia brick!) doesn't know about things discussed on the group chat.

Is he jealous because you are enjoying what you are looking at more than he is enjoying his film? Is he jealous because he can’t join in with what you are doing whereas you could easily watch the film that he is looking at? Maybe jealous is the wrong word here, maybe resentful would be more apt.

DH used to complain I was often on my laptop but I would be checking emails, doing paid surveys, facebook or researching family tree. Luckily we had a kitchen/diner where we would sit with tv on or a separate lounge where DH would go to watch "his" programmes. Difficulty is when you only have one lounge, why should OP go into another room if the tv is in the only room with comfortable chairs.

DH could only cope with a basic mobile phone, he could make & answer calls, just about manage to open a text message not send one. Last phone I bought was not long before he died 5 years ago but I believe ASDA were selling basic phones last year for £5.

Gabriella I was counting the not in "can't" which is actually can not. Ie so many combined and counteracting negatives, so that your meaning was not entirely clear.

Tell him to take a running jump ... and while we’re on standing up for ourselves - does he criticise anything else you do? You may need to reappraise your entire relationship - the reason why he doesn’t want you to have a smartphone don’t like is he can’t see what you’re up to - he can’t control you so is seekings to deny you the means of communication with others - look beyond this one example and consider his behaviour in total

I think the problem is that if you are watching a film together, even if one person hates it, there can be the illusion that it is a shared activity, it is companionable, you can refer to it afterwards and comment on something in it and the other person will agree/disagree whatever. This still works if you knit or sew, but if one person is reading a book or using a device, you can no longer hold on to that feeling

What does DH do if you watch a chick flick? Even if you don’t like them, try insisting on alternate choices and make sure you sometimes choose something he hates. Does he read a book, leave the room or fall asleep? You could offer him you phone to play with! Once you’ve made the point you can stop watching the rubbish and have a serious conversation about the situation.
I must admit that when I visit/am visited by family, I do not feel any companionship with them if they are on a device whereas if I watch tv it feels one step closer to being with them.

Mine blames my iPad for us not talking as much as we used to whilst conveniently forgetting his newspaper addiction (1 or 2 papers cover to cover a day) and overlooking the fact that the TV MUST go on for the news so he can sleep through it!!

Exactly Coconut !