As well as the thread on speeding up her 3 grandchildren's slow eating, retrogran has also posted about her grandaughter being told that her mother wasn't going to pull in for her having a pee, she could wait until they got home in an hour.
Your daughter is not obligated to take you into her home to live. While it may be lovely, it may not be realistic:
-If you can't navigate her stairs her home may not be designed to allow that -If you develop dementia she may have difficulty caring for you -If your physical needs require her to lift or transfer you she may not be able to do that
While it's commendable that some adult children choose to care for their parents at home, it's not a reality for everyone. Some people genuinely are better off in a care facility if their physical and/or mental needs make it too challenging for them to be cared for at home. (For example, there are major safety concerns for people with dementia vis a vis wandering; if you require a mechanical lift for transferring that's a two-person job, so your daughter would need help.)
Sorry Retrogran, but a few weeks back your post mentioned your 11 yr old daughter and your DH, is this the same daughter now grown up? If so maybe the problems go way back.......
guilty ,we also offered a downstairs room to MIL an dthen converted it to an office.Things change .As it happens my MIL doesn't mind sleeping upstairs when she has visited ,usually a week every two months or so.She says she's happier being upstairs with us and the GC .She's 83 and has some mobility issues but climbing stairs seems to help strengthen her leg muscles ..or so she says .
I've had a difficult relationship with my daughter as a teenager, now she resents my visits. I have arthritis, helped buy their house, was suggested a room downstairs might be mine when needed, now its her office. Her stairs are too much for me. Also am denied visiting for birthdays as I 'get in the way'. I live in N Ireland, she's in London. I feel discarded like old rubbish.