Having lived with my DH through several deep depression bouts which was finally diagnosed as Bi-Polar ( he was mis-diagnosed as having clinical depression for years!) I am in total sympathy with you.
It is very difficult & you never really know what each new day will bring.
Please do get some help for YOU. My doctor was excellent & I saw someone who specialised in people living with people with depression- it really helped me. I was offered a place at a group too but by then I felt I could cope. It was just good to know I wasn't alone & there was something out there for me to let off steam or have a good cry or whatever I needed to do.
Believe me there are so many people with these crippling illnesses & they all have people like us who are dealing & coping with it.
Talk to someone who is not personally involved & has seen it all before- it can only do you good.
Hugs!
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