relationship

This is the only thread on GN this weekend that's made me giggle! Can't we encourage poet for a little while longer?

Well it IS half term...

Just how much older poet and how old are you as a starting point?
I really shouldn't encourage them should I.

brilliant grannyknot!

Not by fishing on here, poet...

How to get a relationship with a woman old than me?

Good for you cazzajen and this will have benefits for you too. I think the phrase 'you need to get out more' is much maligned. We all need to get out of the house more physically and mentally.

????

I think you are so lucky to have a 'worker' I was forced into retirement at 68 can't stand having no routine ... maybe your husband needed the structure of a job to keep his mental health safe maybe he needs to have outside interests to stop him declining It doesn't have to be a negative move ' he doesn't love me any more' or 'he doesn't want to be with me' maybe he needs structure and interests outside the home and thought the money would be good On the other hand I can see how disappointed you are if you had the mental picture in your head of you both spending your last quarter doing everything together
My best friends husband retired ....to the armchair and pottering she loves him dearly but he drives her scatty being 'there' all the time

Seeing your update I think you ve been very wise make the most of days off and weekends none of us know how many of those we have left and you ll both have lots of conversation to bring to the evening meal

Good luck ☘️

It happens sometimes when you know each other so well for so many years it sometimes becomes like being frustrated from few things in life, being so predictable and others factors affecting relationship to live like money and financial burden, etc. Take time make him realise some moments in life are not going to come back again, also we never know how much life is left with us. Take to utilize his holiday some weekend like this, then he might change his mind...

Oh, sorry, my earlier post should have read "cazzajen," not "crazzajen." Wish we could edit.

Anyhow, good move, Jen! That's the spirit! It may open up a whole new world for you!

That is brilliant cazzajen you won`t regret it . You will also have a lot more to talk about when you do things together . Good luck with the new job xx

lots of great suggestions, thanks ladies, I have applied for a part time voluntary job now, if you can't beat em, join em eh!

I was reading all the typed letters about retirement, sadly my hubby had to finish work at 45, due to him having M.S.
We aren't able do a lot together because of his health.
He would love to be able to work still, but is unable to.
Got to count our blessings sometimes.

I think I know how Cassajen feels. It is feeling your husband doesn't want your company and is using work not to be with you.
I remember having a pub lunch with mine, during the first week of his retirement, when he remarked "Well this is a waste of time".I was hurt, because I was looking for a more to-gether life but have accepted he is not right unless he is working or dashing out to play sport. You have to make your own life sometimes.

When my H retired (at 50!) it heralded the end of our marriage for me . Your H is obviously very bored at home so started P/t which he enjoyed as you say he is now F/t . You really have to find things to do for yourself , I have health problems , poor mobility and pain but work 2/3 half days a week for charity and I love it . I meet new people and have a sense of purpose and structure to my life . Your H is doing what makes him feel happy and fulfilled , you are part of a couple not joined at the hip ! find some interests , get a little job , meet friends or make new ones . Life is too short .

So sorry for your loss, Everthankful.

And sorry for the demise of your marriage, Ginny.

(((Hugs))) to you both.

(((Hugs))) to you, also, crazzajen. It seems retirement is not working out they way you hoped. But obviously, dh was NOT enjoying it as much as you. Perhaps that's because of the money struggles or just because he gets restless being at home so much. You'll need to adjust and, imo, people here have given you some good suggestions. Also, please spend more time on here - you soon may find you don't want dh interrupting your time with us, lol!

Mine is happy to watch TV all day. Soul destroying! If u have worked all your life and have no experience of enjoying a new type of living where u set your own goals and choices then retirement can be very hard.

Lots of very good advice here. Could you ask him if he'd like to go out for a meal or something? I hope you can find things you enjoy. If you can't go far, could you do sewing, reading, do online courses, invite people round for example? You'll have lots to talk about and I've heard some retired people say they're so busy they wonder how they managed to work!

We planned to travel when we retired, but his affair with my friend got in the way of those plans. He left. Being alone was not for me, so carried on working and now virtually retired I have joined clubs doing all kinds of things, some learning a new skills and working with a charity supporting women and girls both nationally and internationally.

What I'm saying is be very glad that your husband is in your life. Love him for simply being there and caring enough to want to provide more than just 'surviving' whilst he's able. Make a busy life for yourself too. I agree together time is very important, so how about sitting down together making firm plans for going out, learning new skills together, possibly weekends away and holidays? Would that help you feel closer?

A couple of posters have mentioned the possibility of working on-line. I'd love to know what opportunities there are for this but I'll start another thread so as not to spoil this one.

This is a different angle to those wives who retired before their husbands have said once their DH finally retires. They complain hubby gets under their feet and in the way, which i think is strange as surely you should look forward to enjoying retirement together.

witzend

You just need to tell him how you feel and come up with a compromise so that you spend at least one day a week together My husband and I go to the cinema in the winter and a NT property when the weather is nicer...if you don't tell him you cant moan

Must say it's the first time I've heard this sort of 'complaint' - it's usually the opposite, wives driven bonkers by newly retired dhs under their feet all day, or 'hovering', bored and unable to amuse themselves.

Or else 'nobly' tackling some domestic task such as hoovering, and then making a massive thing of it, as if they're expecting a medal...