how to please your husband

First ever post!!!?my husband always worked overseas.so i did all the d.i.y.renovated each house we had etc so i find it too hard to hand over now that hes retired(cos im better at stuff!) haha

Thanks for the cupcake thought silver lining, so kind. Comment of course was tongue in cheek, we have what seems like an abrasive relationship but works for us. Don't like soppiness.

wobblybits, great big hug to you and Mrs P, my poor DH is "feeling" his hip today and has taken to the sofa,which is very unlike him. x

[foxie] - yes women are more emancipated now, but in a relationship both need to back down at times.
I've seen a few so called marriages where the woman dominates, and the man squirms, and it's not pleasant. Yes it is often the other way round, and that's not good either.
I mainly posted the OP because it was a revelation to me - I grew up in an all female extended family (apart from poor Dad) and never really understood men, how different we are.
Though I have got 2 sons.

Sorry to hear you are both so down Wobbly. Hugs for both of you. Must make you feel very vulnerable knowing that you aren't able to help each other.

DH and I have pretty well sussed it after 44 years of marriage. We each have our strengths and weaknesses and help each other out. Admitting weakness in some area and asking partner for help is not a bad thing. I am seriously rubbish at technical things. Don't have that sort of mind. So I need DH to help me with these. It gives him a sense of self worth too. We all need that.

I have just read Ibsen's 'A Doll's House' examining this very topic for a literature class. He was a very early supporter of the feminist movement and the ending of the play is very relevant to this thread.

Definitely, cake is the order of the day atm.

Presumably the husbands are working on it from the other side?

Good Lord this is the 21st century and the age of emancipated woman or am I wrong about that. So how to please your husband is irrelevant, how to please and satisfy each other in the relationship is much more relevant methinks

You need square brackets []

yup, didnt work,

christine, sending a (cupcake) (not sure if this will work!)

Stop breathing ! !

I'd go for the unexpected hug or kiss

Only way to please mine was to feed him, remove the children from earshot and never ask him what else he was up to when he went off for weekends and holidays with his mountain climbing club.

Give him an unexpected cuddle or a kiss on the head when he is sitting in his chair, it even wakes him up so a win, win situation?

Got rid of mine years ago. Useless in every way.

DD accidentally discovered clever ploy - painted sample colours on wall and found that slightly OCD hubby couldn't handle, so he insisted on completing the job immediately.

I've just discovered the "5 languages of love" - a revelation.
www.iacac.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/D31-I-Hate-Your-Job-The-5-Love-Languages.pdf

If I want a job doing which is beyond me or more my husband's expertise, I start doing it, get stuck and then ask for his help so he takes over. It works so much better than nagging.

That said, I have decided that if I ever go looking for a new man, I am going to act helpless as it hasn't always paid to be "able" in diy, etc. It just means there is an expectation I will do them!

Advice from my Granny aged 91 just before she died in 1984 "always let him think he's in charge but ensure you are" !

From this thread it looks as if chaps like to feel needed and manly. My DH certainly likes to look after me and I sometimes feel a bit smothered as I am very independent and like to do things for myself. However, there are some things at which I cannot compete and am really grateful for his help: driving long distances, navigating (I can do it but I don't like to), some house maintenance. We both like to have an equal relatonship full of candour and we love our private jokes and coinciding insights.

To allow him to buy another gadget he won't use

Mr glamma has certainly proved himself this past 12mths since I shattered my shoulder joint last year,he has taken up all the household tasks and how well he has coped with them,he has always been hands on but he has really done well even down to drying my hair and learning how to do a pony-tail plus he has had to take over all the driving as I have no strength in my right arm and he would worry if I went out in my car on my own,such a treasure I'm lucky to have him.

My DH likes to feel needed and that he is caring for me and being protective and despite his best efforts to keep me from harm I still run into trouble from time to time. He is a born husband does all the things one might expect from a good husband- I don't deserve him really but he is enslaved to my fatal charm!!

Not been out in a boat for ages, too clumsy for my own safety now. Loved being out on Hanningfield res in a boat. Yes we are both down atm. Mrs P has a groin strain that is not improving and is struggling to walk, my hip is extremely painful and I am also struggling to walk, I suspect the cartilage has broken down, had xray this morning.