Grumpy husband - is it just old age?

He's had the big C now heart problems but I give him room. He likes to read and walk and will do that when feeling well Does not particularly like anyone to call... likes the routine of a quiet day
He WAS a medical doctor so knows more of the ins and outs than most. I use the car and visit fiends who understand ( he is 83) Just give and take and accommodating to the other's changing needs.
Have to explain to friends that he sometimes does not feel well enough to surface much before lunch They are very understanding A quieter time for both of us but all well

OH Seaside... You will be getting people worried now.

My ex got grumpy at home when he was having an affair.

My DH used to swing from being a fabulous,entertaining ,loving companion to a miserable, grumpy bad tempered grouch. It was a case of seeing the doc or else.
He is now on Seroxat, while not sunny ALL the time he is generally UP rather than DOWN. He did come off it for a short time- DISASTER- so awful I nearly left him.
I do feel that being cooped up together doesn't help and I am lucky that we have two living rooms so we have our own space. Also having hobbies, family, friends helps enormously. We get on so well together it's a shame he has to have medication to keep him on an even keel. I remember how difficult my father could be-he also would have benefitted from Seroxat and saved my poor mother a lot of grief!

I had a husband like that and kept on at him to see the doctor because I felt it was caused by depression. Things got so bad that in the end we split up. It turns out he was not only depressed but was diagnosed with PTSD. He has been receiving treatment and after 19 months apart we are together. Now I have a loving selfless husband so very different to the monster before. I do really think some of you should get tougher with your MOGs because as my husbands counsellor told him, they have no right to make your lives miserable.

I am so glad I read this thread. I do feel guilty for posting, but see that so many share my thoughts.

It is so frustrating when you can't do right for doing wrong. If he is sour, I ask does he feel ok? This causes a big sigh and the implication that I am either fussing or criticising.

In 50 years he never has discussed his feelings and I would be wasting my time trying to get him to open up. I have learnt to just take myself off.

Wot, you go too far, I NEVER suggested that I wasn't always right, just that I was grumpy. Start spreading rumours like that and i will get chucked out of the club.

GandTea, I really admire you for admitting to that. A lot of men ("mine " included) can never see that they are EVER wrong. No insight, so no personal growth.

My previous post was of course flippant (Just in case I get death threats)

However reading the posts from you Ladies, I realise that when I am in the "Grumpy old man" mood, it is with Mrs P. This is not at all fair, I should be grumpy with every one. NO, I must make an attempt to NOT be Grumpy with Mrs P. Seems I have learnt something today.

G.Geordie, to have to put up with them and lead a more or less solitary life (except for all the work they cause) doesn't seem a very fair deal! Ctusaud, I like that name for them....MOG! ?

Personal space is the answer to a lot of problems I feel.

I'm with GranVee, I think it is just normal my hubby is 60 but has become more grumpy,So I bought him a grumpy T shirt and mug and when he is moaning i just get the mug or t shirt out he always ends up smiling, and I tell him he is a grumpy old G.t, he soon changes, he doesn't stay like it for long.

Then out of the blue in the car to work on Monday my OH said "I do appreciate all you do for me", where did that come from. Most annoying as it takes the wind out of your sails and I can't moan at him now.

My H (definitely not so D at the moment) seems to sink ever deeper into gloom and grumpiness. Admittedly health issues are the main reason, diagnosed a few months ago with bronchiectasis which, though not pleasant is manageable, was told last month that niggling shoulder/neck pain was arthritis and finally, after a referral to an E.N.T. clinic because of an unhealed perforated eardrum, was told that he was losing the hearing in his "good" ear too! Despite my pointing out all the things he still can do, golf, drive, socialise etc he seems to think that he is an invalid now, and I am also given grief for being fortunate enough to enjoy good health while he has to "suffer", and that is his phrase, not mine! Sympathy and to anyone in the same boat.

Oh heck- My DH is 53 to my 65 so we are the other way round. He can be very grumpy & moody although as he is at work all day it is not too bad. Have I got all this to look forward to!?
I would get it checked out though as DH was found to suffer from bi-polar a couple of years ago when he had previously been diagnosed with clinical depression & is much better on new meds.
Still bad tempered at times though.Lovely at other times.

My girlfriends and I call this MOG syndrome for Miserable Old Git.
I suggest you tell him that you find this behaviour, of which he's probably unaware, unacceptable, and that you are sincerely thinking about cutting your losses and clearing off. He doesn't seem to do it in public, only at home, so you can pick up on it whenever he starts.If you have something with headphones, put them on and start listening to music or an audiobook when he begins.

My husband got depressed after surgery; I was running round like the proverbial blue-a**sed fly with meals and drinks and compression stockings and all the little errands one does, and after a while I just told him to shape up or ship out. It did the trick.

Now I don't feel so alone. Mine is grumpy, impatient too X

It's probably mainly loss of testosterone, nothing to worry about.

How l LOVE being divorced

Get him to take up golf. DH and I lead separate lives at 72 (me)and 79(himself). Over breakfast we say -" what are you up to today?" Have been like this ever since we both retired, although I had expected visits to Stately Homes and garden centres it hasn't worked out like that. Need separate cars for this kind of life though.

My husband is not so much grumpy, as impatient, especially with me. I just seem to irritate him and then he gets tetchy, but of course if I challenge him then it's all my fault. There doesn't seem to be an answer except to keep quiet or walk away.We have been married for 46 years and he retired 6 years ago.
At times it is so bad that my DD notices and sometimes she will mention it to him. He denies being a grump and improves in his attitude to me for a couple of days, he quickly goes back to his old ways

Oh gosh I have one of these as well, everything is negative. " what if we do this/that" I say, I get the sharp intake of breath and a shake of the head! "why not" I say " cos it can't be done" "why not, what reason can't it be done" " oh cos some bloke at work says this or that" "has he done it then" well I don't know I'll ask" My god is it frustrating. Anything on the telly, "don't like him/her" "why not" "Just don't". It;s like living with a petulant child/teenager. Flossie Turner you are right, mine reserves his for me. In Company, the life and soul, get in the car and what a bloomin change! Ah well we love them really.

Flossieturner I sympathise with you! Mine is the same - only about to retire. He likes to be in control of everything and my standards of doing things are never good enough. Any good ideas? He doesn't like personal conversations when I ask him how he feels.

My late husband had his grumpy moments, but oh how i wish he was here now grumpiness and all.

Never say die, good post and I think you're right. Oh why can't a man be more like a woman............