Do i tell my one-night-stand that im pregnant?

Wel I am just glad that your dilemma (Do I tell) was resolved so quickly , within a matter of hours. Sometimes just articulating the different aspects of the problem is what it takes which is why many sorts of counselling, including Samaritans , are not about telling you what to do but asking "how do you feel about what you are telling me". Adults do have to make their own decisions, others can express opinions but cannot decide for you.

University health centre would have plenty of experience of similar concerns.
University counselling is also there to support students with concerns.
Especially in view of your course I'm surprised you didn't consult either or both before appealing to us grannies.
Intrigued to know splitting rate of condoms!
Hope things work out for you, good to hear your sexual partner took a positive supportive stance.

Hi chaz, just a quick message because you have already had some good advice from the previous gransnetters but, I would say that I previously worked for a doctor, for many years, and I'm sure the nurse at your surgery would be very helpful. We have all been young and many of us have made silly mistakes so don't think they will think badly of you. Every practice nurse I have ever come across have always been sympathetic and I know that they will be happy to help you . good luck xx

Just realised my post of17.22pm should have a not between flippantl;y and having.
Though I suppose the opposite is true as well.

I worked on a research project for the government shortly after the act legalising termination was brought in. It was very clear that a decision to abort a pregnancy was not risk free either physically (although that may have improved now) or emotionally. I saw many women get pregnant shortly afterwards to replace the lost baby.

Chaz let us know how you get on
You were certainly thinking out side the box when you opted to ask for advice on this forum
I glad that you got some helpful advice and literature from some of Gransnet.
I hope that if you are intact pregnant then you do seek help from your uni.
You have your life in front of you with or without child.
Life often throws a curve ball. But you will deal with it how you think fit.
If it turns out that you are not pregnant you have gained some experience from the university of life!

advocate is the wrong word there. Cross out the although I wouldnt advocate it, those 5 words.

You also assume there was no love involved. I have no idea how you can know that.

Ok, I am going to wade in.
Just 3 lives taking an unintended couse? Flippant doesnt quite cover it.
And plenty have religious and cultural if not other reasons for flippantly having an abortion at the first oportunity.

Another thing. Girls in the op's situation understandably crave love. Although I wouldnt advocate it, those that keep the baby often wouldnt turn the clock back for anything in the world.

The facts are. It was a one night stand, no love involved. Condoms used 98% safe. Morning after pill used89% reliable. If you are sick you have a five day window to get another, different pill. So pregnancy, presumably was to be avoided. 2 days after unprotected is too soon to be talking, baby, abortion, that is why protection was used. What future would a baby have of such a union. So mum of mad boys, I am not talking abortion, an accident with a week of sex. There is nothing more to say on this. It is a pity more people do not think of the life they can give a child. Two people in the middle of Uni with all that responsibility and their lives in front of them, I find very sad. Anyone can make a mistake, how you deal with it shows whether you are mature or not. At the end of the day she will do what she wants to. Just 3 lives taking an unintended course.

Totally agree Luckylegs. I've seen it just too many times before.

I personably, would hate to see my grandchildren bring a child into the world unless it was a result of a loving relationship. I am entitled to that opinion. I have always loved and worked with teenagers and hate to see lives ruined because of one mistake. But if she and her friend want to take that on, then good luck. It is a life long commitment and the child deserves the best. If Chazwilson and her friend want to do that why bother asking if she only wants a yes answer. Her very traumatic childhood puts her in a very vulnerable position until those issues are fully resolved.

Hmmmmm...

There is lots I could write about your post Luckylegs9, but again I wont.

Well done chaz. You sound a lot more capable than many your age.

Good luck Chaz! I agree with doing a pregnancy test asap. There are tests out there that can identify pregnancy hormones very early. It is better to know what you are dealing with.

And again I would mention your University counselling system. They are well used to dealing with problems of this kind, and it will be confidential too.

'Far better just deal with it and move on' Oh Luckylegs9 I think that is a horrendous thing to say. Abortion often leaves deep scars ,regrets and unhappiness.Sometimes things work out well for single parents and their children. Your statements are far too sweeping in my opinion.
Chaz- I hope it is a false alarm. Perhaps you should consider going on the pill to avoid this situation happening again and all the worry. Take care and let us know how it pans out. xx

I am hoping for a false alarm but I think what I needed to know that if it isn't, that I won't be doing it alone. Thank you NananadGrampy
& Condoms split often, and I'm feeling very judged by you LuckyLegs but it's a good job your opinion does not matter to me. I came here for advice, not a lecture. I'm not some dumb child, I'm a potentially pregnant young woman half way through university, I'm not the only person to go through this and won't be the last. I'm not saying because he's supporting me that I want to live happily ever after. It's because I am not used to support so when it is offered, I have a genuine appreciation for it; I've seen the evil in the world. I may be young but ive gone through more than what a person double my age has, i lost my parents young and was thrown into abusive foster homes snd care homes. I raised myself. I lived on the streets from 14 to 16 and nobody even realised i had gone. At 16, i brushed the dust off and walked into a college in the hope of changing my life so i can help others like myself. At 16 i had no qualifications, now i have 4 A levels and As and Bs in English, Maths and Science. Not to mention im halfway through my Counselling Degree. Nobody else did that but me, nobody pushed me, nobody gave me motivation, I did it all, at 16 years of age... So rather than wasting yours and my time by being overly judgemental, I'd like to politely say goodbye to you. Bye.

Good to know Chaz better to know than worry and he sounds like he is being sensible.

I'm not sure what you hope for but for my part I hope its a false alarm. There's a time for babies and now should be filled with your studies and life in general so I hope you'll let us know how it all works out ( I'm a sucker for a happy ending lol)

Good luck with everything x

Obione, I cannot see why the man has to know. She did not want to get pregnant and took precautions, so it is hardly an ethical decision, vomiting would not have stopped the pill working, if she thought it had, would have been easy to get another one. I have never known a condom to split, ever, and to think of having a baby that was not planned, by someone you slept with once, and in the middle of a university course, both her and the guy certainly not in the right place to bring up a child. What future have any of them got, the answer is none. They have to finish their studies. Babies deserve to be born into a loving settled relationship to thrive, those are the facts. Plenty of time to have a child when they are in a loving relationship. Sometimes people want easy fixes, that just leads to misery. Far better just deal with it and move on. Babies are hard work for two people with jobs, but their own, with no money or prospects well it could not make anyone happy.

I would like to thank you all, especially NananadGrampy, I took your advice and I called him, he has come to see me today, as we were friends before this happened, he is being very supportive; I think I was very worried what his response would be because I know of many young girls in my situation who's partner has left them. I am surprised with his response but I'm relieved also.
Thank you for the information regarding the pill, hopefully, it should work. & Stress is a very prominent emotion in my life right now, not only with this but university assignments, as we are getting to the end of the year, the workload is increasing massively. so it makes sense that stress could be the cause for the lateness of my period.
I am grateful for all your advice, especially those who didn't question my honesty.
I will definitely take a pregnancy test soon & keep doing so until/if I start my period.
Again, thank you. I really appreciate people taking the time out of their days to help me because I feel like that weight has lifted.
Best Wishes to All xox

Both are included in the replies, not always both in the same, but plenty of each type. That is a balance.

Not always Elegran. And why not have both which is what I posted.

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

I dont think that is a very helpful post Luckylegs9 on several levels.

You can do a pregnancy test very early on, so if you did not want to get pregnant it is easily solved, you took the morning after pill after all. If you don't want this to happen again, don't have one night stands. Sorry if this is not want to hear but you are responsible, you will probably not see the guy for dust.