I hate visiting my mum!

kitty, whatever your relationship has been like with your mum throughout your life it must be a terrible time for you now - oh the indignity of some end-of-life conditions. I hope for both your sakes that it won't be long now...

Visiting people who are really ill is very difficult to sustain for any period of time if you care about them. No one wants to see someone they care about deteriorating. So sorry for you kitty and your family. and ((huggs))

You are being very honest kittyl, don't beat yourself up about it.
I think you should have a break. Your mum won't necessarily know if you skip a day and go for a walk, a drive, a massage, anything for YOU. Then take a deep breath before you go back, leave your glasses off and look beyond the facade which is inevitably going to distress you. Can you go WITH someone so that you can share the burden and the effort of trying to make a conversation? I have often wondered how the professionals cope and think it must be because they do not have the same emotional involvement.
Every good wish and hugs at this desperately hard time.

kitty {{{hug}}} its so hard I did this a year ago when my Father was sent home for end of life care. You do what you feel able and dont feel that you have failed in anywayx

I think this is natural and similar to our experience. The body you visit is not the loving mum that you knew. Don't beat yourself up over it, you are handling he situation as best as is possible.

Don't feel guilty Kitty it's just how you feel, no more and no less.?